Inside:The WORST Apps for Kids. Do you really know what apps are on your kids phone?
Are you wondering about some of these apps on your kids phones; like what is ShamChat, Kik or Whats App?
Are you worried about the time your child is spending on SnapChat or whether Instagram or Musical.ly is really safe?
Do you want to know what some of the worst apps for kids are and if your kids have them on their phones?
You are NOT alone!
We’ve got the answers you are looking for to help keep your kids safe and to make sure you are informed. We keep updating the worst apps for kids as new apps come on the scene, so be sure to check back often.
Even If Your Kids Doesn’t Have A Cell Phone Yet
Did you know that 22% of kids between the ages of 6 and 9 own cell phones?
When they become tweens (9-12) it rises to 60%! This means even if your kids don’t have cell phones, some of their friends probably already have them.
Kids often bring phones to school and are allowed to use them in classrooms, the lunchroom or on the bus with little to now supervision. It’s important that our kids are educated in case they encounter questionable apps on friends devices. This is why it is important that parents of even young elementary kids are informed about the Worst Apps for Kids.
Also, a great way to protect your kids and make sure they are using their phones responsibly is to have them sign a cell phone contract. We’ve got a FREE Printable one available in our post Cell Phone Rules For Tweens and Teens.
If You’re Child Already Has a Phone
You might want to take a look to see if they have any of these apps already installed on their phone. If so, consider doing a little more research, so both you and they can make informed decisions about using them.
Also, take care to check the age restrictions listed by most apps before downloading. Many parents are unaware they exist and few of the apps actually have any real age verification process.
We didn’t let our children have social media before they turned 13 and here is why: What Every Parent Needs to Know About Social Media for Kids
Want to make sure your kids can’t download ANY apps without your approval…..
1. On an iPhone go into SETTINGS, GENERAL, RESTRICTIONS. You’ll be prompted to create a code and then you can select any phone functions that you don’t want your child to have free access to without your okay.
2. On an Android go into SETTINGS, USERS. Select ADD USER /RESTRICTED PROFILE . You will be prompted to set-up a passcode and then you can choose what they can access on their own and what they’ll need you to enter the passcode to access.
*** HINT*** A speaker I heard recently suggested parents use a “four letter” word as their passcode. It’s something few kids would EVER suspect and it will certainly be easy for you to remember. 😉
Need more help: Setting iPhone Parental Controls; Easy as 1,2,3
Worst Apps for Kids
ShamChat
What is Shamchat? Well, It’s tagline is “Don’t Be Yourself.” And it introduces itself as a place where you can be anything at all. It can be an attractive idea for tweens and teens who aren’t feeling particularly comfortable in their own skin. They can assume any identity they want and then enter into the app and interact with others who are also pretending to be someone their not. If that’s not enough to give you pause, the apps is known as a place to carry on pornographic conversations and other sexualized behavior.
Kik
What is Kik? This is an instant messenger/social networking hybrid.Kids can send basic messages like texting, but also photos and files. Since it is used over the internet and anyone can attempt to connect with your child. This app allows kids to send private messages that can be very difficult for parents to access or which can be easily deleted. Since photos are involved, there is considerable opportunity for children to be exposed to inappropriate images. In addition, this is a commonly used app for sexting.
SnapChat
This app allows kids to send photos that once opened by the recipient disappear after 10 seconds. However, should the recipient grab a screen shot of the picture, it is now a permanent image that could easily be shared with others. Most children won’t think about the possibility of the screen shot and may be tempted to take risks sending things that they think will no longer exist after 10 seconds. Also, recent versions of the app can reveal the exact location of users via geolocation, so be sure that part of the app is turned off.
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Musical.ly
Musical.ly is a video based social app for video creation, messaging, and live broadcasting. . It allows users to can videos and choose soundtracks to accompany them. Users can also check out popular “musers,” content, trending songs and sounds and hashtags. It’s gotten popular with younger users, because of the funny filters that can be added and many parents view the app as relatively harmless. Unfortunately, it is possible for inappropriate or pornographic hashtags to pop up. Plus, settings autodefault to “public” which if not changed can let anyone in the app view what your child is doing on the app.
Poof (and similar apps)
Poof actually no longer exists, but it represents a whole category of apps that are constantly being created and then deleted, just to pop up as something new. These apps provide the ability to hide apps from being displayed on the phone screen. Therefore, parents who think they are being diligent about monitoring what apps their children are using, may not realize some have been hidden from their view.
Ghost and Vault Apps
These apps are similar to the “Poof” app phenomenon and are constantly changing. For anyone who heard about the sexting scandal at a Colorado High School last year involving half of the student population, and where more than 500 explicit photos were being exchanged of kids some as young as 8th grade, a vault app was involved in helping keep the photo sharing undiscovered for so long. The apps will often appear as an innocuous app on your child’s phone and can even be disguised as a calculator or some other simple tool. To guard against their use, the best protection is to password protect the ability to download apps onto their phone. Additionally, you can check for duplicate apps or tools as that could also be a red flag.
Whisper
Whisper’s tag line is “Express Yourself – Share Secrets – Meet New People.” Already this doesn’t sound good for kids, right? Anonymity is the lure of this social meet-up app, where names are never used, but location can be provided within a one mile radius. Again, because kids are online when using it, they are open to anyone who wants to try and connect with them. This is yet another app with picture sharing capabilities as well, making it appealing for both cyber bullying and sexually oriented interaction.
AskFM
A social networking app set-up in a question answer forum that offers complete anonymity and no monitoring whatsoever by the company. This app has already been involved in numerous serious cyber-bullying incidents both in the U.S. and abroad. There is very little ability to control privacy settings and even if your child blocks someone who is harassing them, the individual can still access their profile and view all interactions your child is having on the app.
YikYak
Twitter meets texting with complete anonymity thrown in. A child can send an anonymous message of up to 200 characters and then using GPS, the message can be read by the nearest 500 other people using the app. No images with this one, but it still has gained in popularity quickly and has become a powerful tool for bullying and sexual content.
Vine
Used to make and share short videos, six seconds in length that loop over and over again, this app is actually owned by Twitter. A messaging function has been added since the app launched and those using the app can search based on location. As one would expect with anything that has video capabilities, explicit material is abundantly available and not hard for children to stumble upon. There has also been a trend of teens sharing videos of fights at school. Although Twitter has made some attempt to clean things up, it still is a questionable app for kids and is best used in the presence of parents.
Down
Here’s another with a great slogan – “The anonymous, simple, fun way to find friends who are down for the night.” Operating via a connection with FB, people can group their friends as just buddies or those that they’d like to get “down” with, for a little, well…you know. Those looking for a little, well…you know, can search their friends and see if they can find a match.
Tinder
The flame is a good indicator that this app is a little too hot for a young audience. Yet another hook-up facilitator, anyone using the app can upload their photo and then browse other’s photos indicating “interest” with a heart or a “no way” with a big X. The app will then suggest those nearby who have “hearted” you and if you like them back, a connection is made which enables messaging. I’m sure you can come up with how many ways this could go bad on so many levels without me elaborating any further.
Omegle
Basically chatting with a random stranger, either via standard messaging or with video. For added risk, the app can connect with a Facebook account and then will attempt to connect people using the app to those who have similar “likes”. There is nothing to keep kids from being exposed to inappropriate content and there is ample opportunity for personal information to be shared. When a conversation ends, the chat log can be saved and then a link will be provided that can be shared freely.
Chat Routlette
Combine the randomness of roulette with spontaneous video chat, meaning you never know who you’re going to be paired with or what they might show you. Google it, and you’ll discover that it’s not something anyone should want to be a part of, let alone a young person.
Voxer
I’ll admit, this one sounds kind of cool and I could see it being useful in some situations. This app enables you to transform your mobile phone into a walking talkie. However, beyond just being able to say “over an out”, kids can also exchange photos, texts and other personal information. It’s gotten national attention as part of a high profile cyber bullying case. However, if you want to use it, just make sure you’ve got the location services turned off and privacy settings enabled. Plus, be clear who your child is communicating with when using it.
Parenting Kids and Technology
The biggest lesson for parents is that monitoring your kids phones for these apps is parenting, not spying.
You want to know where your kids is, who they are hanging out and what they are doing in their everyday lives, and it’s just as important to know these things in their online lives. If you think you need a little help, there are some great parental monitoring apps on the market, this is the one we use with our kids:
Circle with Disney ; Simple Parental Controls That Make Sense
Looking for more technology and parenting information, be sure to sign up for our newsletter below so you won’t miss any of our future posts in this series.
Related Posts:
Family Technology Rules; Take Control of Tech Before Tech Takes Over Your Family
Tech Rules for Teens and Tweens – Parenting Tools for Today’s World
Why We Need to Stop Tech Shaming Our Kids
We’ve also got tons of other great Apps info on Pinterest:
Follow Sunshine and Hurricanes ‘s board Technology for Kids on Pinterest.
Are there any Worst Apps For Kids that we’ve missed?
We’ll keep updating this post, because we know technology changes fast in our world today!
apps games download says
My family every time say that I am killing my time here at web,
except I know I am getting experience every day by reading thes pleasant content.
Andrea says
Thanks for this post. My oldest is 11 and desperately wants a cell phone. We are holding out for now and have explained our reasons, but dang, it’s hard to make the hard calls. I so appreciate a community of moms who share vital information like this.
Bus Rush game says
This is a very good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere.
Short but very precise information… Thank you for sharing this one.
A must read article!
Blake says
Chatgum is awful I noticed many older men making sexual advances on young , the moderators do nothing about it and the teens go so far as to give their information in order sext and exchange photos it’s disgusting how open theswsource people are about it and nothing is done by the moderator s who areare often times only 12_ 14 years of age please help raise awareness keep your kids off this app
Karen says
I have to agree! Anyone can friend your child and begin role playing sexual activity with them. I monitor my daughters activity closely. She had originally gotten on this app with a friend and roleplayed being dinosaurs. Next thing i know there are tons of people adding her as a friend and many sending sexually explicite messages. No way to contact monitor. I reported all as explicite. Deleted all friends. Uninstalled app because there was no way to delete account.
Valerie says
***Pokemon Go*****
My kids are not allowed to have it, but a friends 10year old daughter was playing in my front yard when a man in a car stopped and asked her if she “caught it” then told her to come here. Thank God she didn’t! Everyone knows your location!! Very dangerous!!
Kira Lewis says
I’m afraid I have to disagree with you. Even wit the apps I’ve provided in this post, Pokemon Go just like anything else, is something we as parents have to educate ourselves so we can educate our children about how to be smart and be aware of the risks involved. The media has taken the opportunity once again to prey on the fears of parents by sharing stories that basically represent the most extreme cases situations where people (often adults) weren’t exercising even the slightest bit of common sense or situations. Pokemon Go can be a fun experience and my kids and I have had a blast playing it and its really encouraged them to get outside, walk more and even to explore some historic sites in our city. I do not let them go off without me to play. It has given me another opportunity to discuss with them the issue of how to handle when a stranger approaches them, even when they may seem harmless or uses some kind of common ground to sway them (this could just as easily be “I lost my puppy can you help me find it” as it can be “lets go look for that cool pokemon”).
Plus, other players can’t see your location within the game. The only exceptions are if your child takes over a gym or sets a lure, which are both identified by their username, but even then if they are playing in a crowd of people no one can know exactly who the user name is associated with and most gyms as well as pokestops where you set lures are in locations with large numbers of people (whether playing or not). And as long as you are with them even this shouldn’t be an issue.
I realize that technology in general and the rapid pace with which new technologies aimed at our kids hits the market, can be very overwhelming for some parents. I sympathize with this completely. However, this is a part of our children’s world and we have to prepare them to deal with their reality in a smart and savvy way. It’s easy to just buy into the hype and think it’s all bad and keep it from them, because then we don’t have to put in the effort to learn about these things. But at some point our children will be old enough to do these things with or without our permission and I guess my view is I’d rather have taken the time to guide them and help them learn to be responsible with it before that time comes.
Choek says
“Oh be careful little eyes what you see” – What is once seen can not be unseen. Isn’t that enough to be extra cautious? I trust my child but I can’t trust that at /his/her age she knows what to do with an image once seen. You can’t undo a loss of innocence. I’m surprised by some of the posts. Especially saying that we should trust our children to make good decisions. Yes, as adults we should trust that , but 9,10, 11- they need us to guide them. So sad that people are “trusting” their children to navigate through these murky waters. I know a lot of people love facebook but I have a fear that my children could be picture stalked from birth to adult hood. Even adults do not filter what they post and make available for everyone to view. How much of our lives should be making available to complete strangers? Can’t we go back to enjoying life without sharing every intimate detail of it? Imagine what someone could find by a simple picture of you and your family at the zoo? – A child predator could learn how many people are in your family, what you like to do, possibly a location a general idea of what you like to do. How easy does it make it for them to approach our children and say “Oh hey, I saw you at the zoo last week with your mom and dad. did you like the lions?” I don’t to be insanely cautious where I’m suspicious of everyone but people are sharing way too much online. As a parent, I appreciate this list because I feel so technology ignorant and need posts like this to help me know how the kids could use it inappropriately. There is nothing wrong with trying to protect our kids innocence.
Lionel says
I am thankful people out their care about us! I am a teen, and I have a really good relationship with my parents!
Ananda says
Shamchat.
My 13 yr old used it. And told me about it, reluctantly, when I asked what she was up to – on a random evening.
She’s generally very sensible. But when I saw it I freaked out. Didn’t show it and had a good and long-ish conversation about it. I’m obsessed with keeping the communication channel open. It’s too easy for her to hide things from me should she choose to.
Christy Wood says
Oovoo, would be a good app for your list,
Chat Gum, as well,
My 12 year old daughter, who we thought was on You tube, watching videos, (she likes crafting, and that really is what we thought she was watching) I have recently found so many apps on her phone, Chat Gum is rated TEEN, WHY?????????????????????? THere are 30,40 year old men on this app, all cyber bullying, and many kids posting pictures of them cutting.
KIK you listed, I could not agree more, my daughter had this and was talking to a man, between this app and oovoo, she says she don’t know what age, they would have video chats, where he would turn the camera and she could not see him, but he could see her … OBVIOUSLY I didn’t know this was going on… but………… I have found so much more than I ever could have imagined my 12 year old having on her phone.
One of the apps, this guy claimed he was dismissing class, and would call her back shortly, DISMISSING CLASS??????????????????????? HOW OLD ARE YOU?
he went on to say he bought someone a plane ticket, last I knew you needed a cc, and an ID to purchase a plane ticket.
These can’t be tracked from what I understand, and if so… how?????????????
I have been looking for a facebook group for myself, to keep up to date on these hidden apps, and the ones that aren’t even hidden, so I know what is safe for our kids, and what is not.
I agree, not even Facebook is safe for our kids!!!!!!!!!!!
I have found so many suicidal comments on my daughters phone, between all the apps.
I am rambling, but I have been in a world of shock all week!
Tahrah Hunt says
First of all I want to tell you you’re not alone. We’ve had similar experiences with our four teens and have even had a porn probably because of their phones. We took them away for nearly two years to keep them safe.
Is your daughter’s phone an android? If so, go check out freeandroidspy.com. We use it and LOVE it. Shows nearly ALL activity even photos taken, apps downloaded, calls, texts, chats, websites visited, etc.. If she doesn’t have an android, you might want to consider changing it to one. iPhone doesn’t have near the protections that Android does.
Good luck to you.
Tanya says
The biggest issue on this I believe from a child psychology standpoint is that kids are not fully rational yet (some never get there ;). Its part of our evolution as a species that kids are Supposed to make mistakes, be rebellious, and learn from them. Its how we evolve as people and figure out for ourselves what kind of people we want to be. The problem is that all through history, a kid would make a mistake and if it didn’t kill or maim them, they would grow out of it and life would go on. Now the internet saves everything. One mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life. There are many instances of 14 to 17 yr olds having nude pictures of classmates or other underage people on their phones (and since it is a federal crime as kiddy porn) have been prosecuted as a sex offender and now have to register as one till they die. One boy got sent a nude pic by a girl at school, and to teach her a lesson, the boys mom forwarded that pic to everyone on her sons contact list basically his whol class. That poor girl was damaged for one bad decision (actually 2 bad decisions, her own and the boys moms bad decision ) its not just about trust. Its about mistakes nowadays that you cant take back. The good parenting debate tries to over lay this and ignore it, but much of that is social pressure too. The biggest thing as parents we have to understand is that a teenager or young person who states that it is even possible to loose their trust forever on something that is truly not anywhere near as important as they like to make out, will forgive you eventually. It may take a long time, it may even take for them having kids of their own. But as a parent I know Im not willing to take the risk of having to sit in court while my child has to defend themselves or actions, or sit at a grave site and watch my child being lowered int the ground because I didnt want to be too strict. I personally know parents having to live with both of those situations. And people badgering other parents about their parenting choices is bullying and exactly why we need to see that if supposed adults are doing it to each other saying horrible things to each other they would never say in person, you know for a Fact it’s happening to your kids. Period. No debate.
Lolita says
Here’s one I’m surprised was not added.. FACEBOOK!
Shyla says
Hot or not and badoo (just like tinder)
Plenty of fish (sounds like a kids game but it’s not for that)
Ash says
I think you should educate your children about these dangers before hand and allow them to use your trust. Give them the opportunity to chose to do the right things with their phones. Once your child makes the wrong decision with their phones, then consider taking away appd. With that in mind, another very dangerous app is tumblr. There is a lot of pornography on tumblr.
Lilly says
If my mom tried to restrict what I could and could not download on my own personal phone I would laugh so hard at her. There’s no way. I have a lot of these apps and I am FINE. If someone cyber bullies you either block them or just close your eyes lmao. If you see an inappropriate picture then just scroll so you don’t see it? Good lord haha
Kira Lewis says
Lilly – If your mom tried to restrict what you had access to on your phone, it would be because she loved you and was trying to be a good parent. While you might be FINE, many kids are not, and find themselves in unfortunate situations. Also, you may be an older teen who has had the chance to learn about the dangers and who has the confidence to deal with bullies and such. This article is targeted to parents with kids of all ages, and maybe even you would agree 9,10 and even 11 years olds shouldn’t be given unsupervised access to these apps, so we hope to help parents be smarter and more tuned in, not more controlling. I don’t think that is a bad thing.
Nat says
I like that my parents sometimes look over my electronics (even thought I don’t have stuff to hide) but it just means that they care. I am a teen myself and just hearing other students talk about what they do absolutely disgusts me! I am glad that this article is here for parents and kids that might not know what they are getting into. I have considered getting SnapChat multiple times because all my friends have it but it really does not appeal to me and seems a little off. I have had bad experiences with Kik as well. At first I used it to talk with my cousin who did now have Imessage or a phone but when random people started contacting us we both knew we should delete it. I know that my mom follows all of my social media as well as other family members because I use it to show my family and friends what cool stuff im up to, but I would never use it for that other stuff. Thanks for the article 🙂
Kira Lewis says
Thanks for being a teenager that doesn’t hate us. 😉
Tanya says
If my kid posted this response and I saw it, I would call the cell phone company and cancel the line.
Deann says
An app my 15 year old stepson likes is called sham chat. This app lets you role-play with random people. I don’t like it and have asked him to remove it, to no avail.
Nunya business says
Nope nope nope. Let me tell you, if a child downloads these apps on their phone and then a parent takes it away because they think they are “helping” by reducing the risk of their most likely innocent child doing some kind of sexual activity, you will completely ruin their trust in you. A lot of these apps have the ability to block people who are being obnoxious or inapropriate, and a lot of children’s actually DO KNOW HOW TO USE THESE BUTTONS. CHILDREN ARE NOT STUPID, AND THEY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEMSELVES ONLINE. Or, a better option to completely ruining their trust and faith in you because you want to monitor and control their entire lives, have them set up every account with you there, or at least tell you that they’re making an account on one of these sites so that you can read through the terms and conditions and see if you like it or not.
Nunya business says
I meant in my above comment only to do those things if your child is a teenager, if they are younger than you should have a lot of control over their phone.
Kira Lewis says
Hi Nunya –
Can I just ask, are you a teenager or a mom? I don’t for one minute think teens are stupid, in fact, teenagers are some of my most favorite people on earth. However, that said, they are also still in a period of brain development that leaves their decision making capabilities not fully formed. Are some teens going to be smarter than others on this front? Absolutely, and so parents have to assess how much they intervene on a case by case basis. However, when you have more than half the student body at a high school in Colorado sharing explicit photos for months, or case after case of tweens and teens being assaulted or even killed as a result of relationships started via apps, I think there is still enough evidence to suggest that parental oversight is a good idea.
Also, some of this isn’t necessarily about the kids, but about parents not sticking their heads in the sand and making sure they understand and are as tuned into what is happening in their children’s online lives as much as they might in their offline lives. It’s about them being able to have conversations with their teens about all fronts, and for some parents, the technology side of things is overwhelming and so they choose not to engage, which is a bad idea. It leaves them cut-off from a HUGE part of their kids lives, and it’s proven that kids do best when they and their parents are connected and communicating.
Also, yes, as more and more younger kids (we’re talking 8 and 9 years olds here) are given cell phones, they definitely need more oversight and parents need to be informed. So, this post is having to cover some really large age ranges.
I appreciate your perspective and while there are some parents out there who are too controlling, most parents love their kids and just want to keep them safe and informed when it comes to all the new technology that is part of growing up today. Our aim with this post and our whole technology series is just to help parents get more comfortable with all of this and feel empowered to be good parents. It’s tough being a kid and being a parent today, we all need as many people on our side as possible to help us all get through it in a positive way.
Truth Seeker says
Obviously you yourself are a teenager
Ash says
I completely agree. My policy on parenting is that a parent should give a child complete trust from the beginning and take away trust when they disobey or make poor decisions, not give them no trust until they make good decisions.
Heather says
I heard of a app that a group of sexual predators actually run and they can watch your child through the cameras on your divice. The app is Talking Angela its similar to the Talking Tom apps. I stated reading the reviews on Google Play at first site didnt see anything alarming but went deeper and found quite a few reviews stating exactly what I had heard. It was immediately deleted from my daughters Kindle.
Kat says
Facebook.
It is not a safe app for anybody because when somebody is following someone else then can share info about them addresses names and even phone number
Sarah says
Finsta is essentially a porn facebook for underage kids. Horrible.
Kira Lewis says
I just updated the post, but I hadn’t heard of this one. I will check it out and include in another update if I find out enough to warrant it. Thanks for the heads up!
Jessica says
There’s also an app that is posed as a calculator but really it can hide pictures, texts, etc! They can even put in a fake code if you find it and they can put fake stuff to pretend like they’re not hiding anything!
Michelle Myers says
Hey Jess, do you know the name of that app?
Ray Birks says
It’s called Calculator%
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/private-photos-calculator/id571206791?mt=8
Alyssa Scott says
There are a few of these that I agree with. But I think you could have phrased it differently. How about something to the extent of “Apps you should know are on your child’s phone”. You make it seem like every child is a perverted rebel. Just a thought!
Jennifer says
Check out the Instagram app and search for #snapchat and any kid can see graphic porn videos. It’s shocking.
Brandy says
I agree! Instagram is HORRIBLE for children. 15 second straight up PORN videos. I put a #fangirling under one of my own pics and out curiosity clicked it to see…NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT MEANT. VERY GRAPHIC sexual content I don’t want my kids to have smart phones period it’s hard enough to be a parent without adding the Internet worldwide web to it. I miss simpler days. It’s depressing what’s available for our children.
Bethany says
Another one is possibly any dating sims or other apps of that type that you as a parent need to know. I am a teen as well and some of them are just arent appropriate at all. So be mindful. Most of those type of dating games are free and can be on iPods and iPads as well so be sure to check EVERY device.
Robin Northrup says
You might want to check out a new book for parents regarding tech games and setting limits. It is called Is The Game Playing Your Kid by Dr. Joe Dilley. It is excellent and a must read for every parent with children still at home.
Tove Maren says
Oh Kira – you make my stomach hurt. I am going to share this far and wide with my mommy groups. I don’t like the sounds of these… it is SO scary!
Kira Lewis says
My goal is not to scare you, but to educate you. There are plenty of great apps for kids out there. Overall, it’s just knowing what is age appropriate, keeping your kids tech supervised and then making sure you’ve got good lines of communication going on. It really is manageable and we are here to help!
Bella says
I’m 15 and for the most part I agree. I had whisper and it did help me deal with some personal issues but I got way too many inappropriate private messages. With Kik I usually just text friends that don’t have an iPhone. With Snapchat I can see your concern but I just send pictures of me with the ugliest face I can make to friends. And Vine? I think adding vine is unreasonable. Hardly anyone uses the messaging part of that. Teens use it to see people do funny and stupid stuff, not to meet up and “dirty dance”. You can’t just tell the world to hate any app just because you can message someone on it. If you did then why give them a phone? And kids will find a way. Right now we are in a rebellious phase and we will do anything to defy you so if you say no YikYak, I’ll just download Tinder which is a good 10 times worse. Sure, you aren’t their friend, but their parent. But why not both? And instead of doing all this to confine us, why not find out what you can do to make this defining part of our lives easier and less stressful so we don’t take it out on our behavior and you? But this is just my opinion and I’m sure not all teens are the same. This is just some food for thought. 🙂
Kira Lewis says
Hi Bella –
Thanks for your comment. Overall, this post is to help parents better understand some of the apps out there that could be dangerous for their children. I agree that many teens will NEVER use them inappropriately. However, sometimes they may open up teens, and especially pre-teens, to experiences they aren’t ready for and part of a parents job isn’t to confine but to set proper and healthy boundaries. I also agree that one of the best things any parent can do to have a good relationship with their pre-teen or teen is to talk with them as much as possible. When the lines of communication are always open, it makes it easier for issues to be dealt with sooner and in a loving way. You clearly are a smart young woman with a good head on her shoulders!
Maimommy says
I would love to see your reply in 15 years when you are a mother of two adorable children. We were all teens who felt as you did once. 🙂
Rachel says
You are a very wise and smart girl. I totally see where you are coming from. It all boils down to trust and confidence that the way you raised your children will pay off in the end when they are too old to spy on and invade their trust. I talk to my son about the risks and I have him on Kik so I can see his screen name and correct him if he chooses something inappropriate, but as another reader posted, we were all teens once and felt the way you do — BUT — to me that means I was that way and I turned out fine. I’m not dysfunctional, I’m not abused, I’m ok. We need to be aware of these issues to educate our kids but in the end, it is THEIR decision and really, there isn’t much we can do to stop them from getting into these things if they really want to. They WILL find a way. There’s a point where you have to accept that they are their own person and you do not control or own them.
Aviya says
Hey! I am 15 also , and I have never used any of these apps !!!
I never want to. I hate sin and I hate anything that feels impure .
I never want to do anything that I will regret!
Aviya says
I never want to text boys or girls about anything stupid or that I would feel guilty about later .
Jennifer says
This article is ridiculous. Why does anyone under the age of 18 even have a smart phone? Parent, instead of reading this article, give them a flip phone.
Kira Lewis says
While I understand your point of view, I also understand that all families make decisions that feel right for them. Overall, we just hope to educate so we keep kids safe! Have a great day!
Aviya says
That’s true. I am 15 and I know no one needs a smartphone unless they know how to be self -controlled with it. Because sometimes even 20 year old s can be kidnapped etc. from not being smart ( on their smartphone).
After all aren’t phones mostly for emergency’s? And taking to people?
Tabitha says
My middle school kid has a school iPad. This article is not ridiculous. It’s not just smart phones to think about. I’m encouraged by the teens who have commented and hope my 13YO will mature like them to make wise choices.
For now, We have the Screen Time app on my daughter’s phone because without limits she would be on it for 5 to 7 hours daily. It tells me every all she has used and her search history. The app (and competitor apps) doesn’t work well on iPad because of the Apple OS. We will be turning in her school iPad and sending her with an Android tablet with screen time.
Brandy says
I also agree with this too. Preteens especially do not need smart phones. I had already decided that unless my children can pay for that smart phone themselves then a flip phone will do just fine. I’m middle 30’s and I used to be plugged up to a corded phone attached to the wall that I had to be off of by 9pm! Lol. And to the 15 year old, that’s great that you are trying to be responsible” but if I was your parent and my phone rules didn’t work for you then you would be phoneless, luv. Parent first, and yes I want my children to be able to be on friendship terms with me, but my job is to love them and teach them , and KEEP THEM SAFE. So much to say on these topics but my keys are freezing n not letting me type in real time.
Sarah says
Yes! Thank you. Putting these tools for use at the discretion of minors is idiotic. There is a reason children have parents. If elec tronic addictions are even plaguing adults who supposedly have self control how can someone expect a child to? Yes you need to trust them but trust is EARNED. I wonder how many parents of the kids who committed suicide from cyber bullying wish they would have just took the phone away instead of giving in to the pressure of “everyone has one” ? Maybe if we went back to earning the privileges we are given instead of having them be some ridiculous right of passage they would be ready when they got one and take it more seriously.
Kira Lewis says
Yes, I too wish that parents today would be slower to give phones to children and more involved once they do. However, I also understand the pressures parents face and the fact that for many parents the technology is very overwhelming. I just try to do my part by making sure there is information out there for them presented in a way that I hope makes them want to engage a bit more on the topic.
Patricia M says
I tried that approach and had a teen who wouldn’t carry a phone, because it was such useless, outdated technology that couldn’t help him in school by taking pictures of the board or that didn’t text. Flip phones are good for calling, and there’s been a paradigm shift from calling to texting. He’s a minimalist who doesn’t carry anything extra. A phone smart phone got him more organized. I handed kids phones in Jr high, 7th grade because of our schedules. Not all kids need them then and not all their friends had them. By high school they all had phones.
You need to teach your kids strong moral values from early on and set the example of not watching media with sexual content and violence. If it’s wrong for the kids, it’s wrong to bring into the home for anyone. Set media standards for the home. Tell them why you don’t watch violence, sex, swearing. (You really want that garbage in your head? How about your child’s? One it’s an, you can’t just hit a delete button on the brain) That makes teaching them how to use social media responsibly easier. You can have random media checks on phones and computers as long as your kids are under your roof no matter who pays that bill. Your house rules apply, and if an absent parent or older teen is paying the bill, that’s not a free pass to rule breaking. Expect that at some point you will find something you don’t like and need to have a chat with your teen. Try to keep calm. I’ve raised 3 teens who are now 24, 22, and 18.
About Snap chat, just because the pic disappears from their phone doesn’t mean it’s gone from the company’s server, and it isn’t. Should they be hacked, every picture sent on that app could be accessed. Kids think no accountability, gone in 10 seconds, but their picture is on a server indefinitely, and I heard that from one of the leading experts in Internet Security who was giving a talk to teens about staying safe online.
Kira Lewis says
You sound like one smart mama who has handled today’s technology with a practical approach. Overall, we far from preach that kids should never have technology, but it’s about not rushing into before it’s necessary and then guiding them along the way. You point out one of the most important reasons why. Our teens can be incredibly smart, responsible young people, but their brains are still developing and they do not have the ability to fully appreciate the long-term consequences of some of their choices. It’s unfair in some ways that they don’t get the same freedom to make the dumb mistakes of youth that many other generations did before them without fearing that it will be preserved and follow them forever on the internet. However, it is what it is and that’s why our role as parents is even more important. I guess this gets to be filed under “one of those things you’ll thank me for someday” and I have no doubt they will.
Petra says
Can you give us the name of apps which would be SAFE to use for children
Kira Lewis says
That would be a great NEW post wouldn’t in. 😉 Keep an eye out. Tech Thursday will start coming back next week and we’ve got tons of great parenting/tech content coming your way and maybe, just maybe something on this topic.
Tahrah says
We were unaware of all these apps when our kids first got their phones. Our daughters new the risks of talking to strangers, sending photos, etc…. However, sending photos and having lots of “boys” tell you how beautiful you are, was intoxicating for them both. We eventually found fake FB accounts, snap chats, kiks, etc…. We “TRUSTED” our daughters because we’ve spent so many years teaching them the dangers out there, even to the point of showing them news stories or movies on the subject. STILL, the “need to be hip and cool” took over their little minds. We’ve since restricted all computer use. We use Net Nanny now, and their phones are completely locked. No apps, no camera, no nothing. It’s safer that way, until they get a little older. They are 13 and 15 now.
Kira Lewis says
It’s a whole new world for parents today and it doesn’t have to be all bad. However, yes, it is an education many parents don’t have and so it is hard to know how to guide their children. That’s why we’re doing this series! 🙂 We can be great parents and have great kids, but yes, they are still kids even in their teens without all the needed experience and even brain development to always make the decision they should. A parent should not feel bad placing restrictions and being all up in their business. It shows we care and we’re invested in their well-being. Good for you taking the steps you did and your kids will thank you someday, I promise!
Nikki Etheredge says
Thank you for very informative article. I would very much like to share this article with my friends. Would that be possible?
So glad I found this blog, brilliant!! Thank you
Kira Lewis says
You are welcome to share with friends. There are social sharing icons on the bottom of our posts that allow you to share the post via FB, Twitter and other social media platforms. Or you can always just cut and past the link to the post and email it! I hope that is helpful and I’m glad you found the article worthwhile.
Sydney says
YES These are very bad apps I’m actually just 13 years old and the Only apps I have is Pinterest,Flip a gram, and just A few Photo editing apps I had no idea about how bad” yik yak” was and Instagram see I downloaded these and they were very bad so I think one that you could should consider is Instagram because teens like my friends can use it badly also but thank you for advice
transposia says
Keep an eye out for ANY apps, even games that feature an open chat feature.
I know a child who was victimized in public chat in Clash of Clans. I’ve seen vulgar language and conversation directed at young children who have joined public minecraft servers.
If there is a chat feature, children MUST know to not give out ANY identifying information. Not to use their friends’ real names. Not to allude to their age, sex, location. It can be a dangerous world out there.
Jaybee says
Add “Meow” to the list. An 11year old family friend showed my 11 year old daughter this app and she herself was posing as a 21 year old with a fake picture. Luckily my daughter told me. I was dumbfounded that kids could access this unpleasant app with 13 year old girls posting that they are looking for a relationship! I then explained if her friend could post a fake profile so could a 68 year old man and that’s why I will not allow her to have these devices! You should have seen my daughters face, lesson learnt, for now!
Cathy says
You forgot iFunny. It has images or short video and as an adult I’ve seen things on there that make me want to wash my eyes with soap.
Village Ambassador says
Thanks so much, I’m putting this in the Sneads Ferry Village News (www.sneadsferryvillagenews.com) to share with thousands of parents, teachers and friends !! I’ve already posted it on the Facebook News so they can discuss it, share it and learn from your readers comments, it’ll go out in the e-news soon too.
Thanks again
Kira Lewis says
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing with your audience. We always appreciate having our content reach a larger group! We’re glad you felt it was useful information!
Keinya says
Insightful post with important information. Thx for sharing. More diversity in your photo to reflect all teenagers and attract more parents would be awesome as the formation impacts a wide range of teens with different backgrounds. The current photo sent a completely different message at first glance until I actually read the post.
Kira Lewis says
That is a great point and I appreciate you bringing it up. It is definitely something we can work on.
Stacy says
As a counselor for tweens, teens and their families I would add SnapChat, Scene kids, and Cosplay. I DO believe good communication, honesty, and accountability between parents and their children play a huge roll. Any app where the interaction “disappears” and cannot be reviewed by parents is prime real estate for a dangerous / inappropriate interaction to occur.
Dani says
I am a detective who investigates sex crimes against children. I can say I have seen all of these during my investigations, and it is beyond disturbing. Thank you for the article and the great comments! It gives me hope that parents can help prevent some of these computer sex crimes from happening.
Kira Lewis says
I appreciate you taking time to comment! I really think parents just don’t understand and it is hard to keep up with the constant changes. We’ll do our best to keep trying to help them make it easier.
C Perkins says
Sorry it’s me again, but with very relevant news to this discussion: Hackers have released thousands and plan to release thousands more nude pictures sent via SnapChat. SnapChat alone was not the problem, because the images were compromised when users also installed apps meant to circumvent SnapChat’s “safety” features.
Are you certain that your child’s revealing photo is not in the thousands of photos being released?
Of course there are some ways to protect yourself. But consider that the photos were not saved by the sender, rather the recipient! Even if you act safely, your photos could still be compromised by other people who might have unsafe apps. Do you think the people who installed the apps expected hackers to be steeling your photos? (Probably not.) Do you think all the precautions you take even matter when your contacts are less safe or naive? This not only applies to nude pics–it applies to any pic or message you send. Are you ready to have every single message and pic you send to be intercepted? Do your children understand this? Are they really mature enough to know how information shared can affect their lives, etc.? Do you think this kind of hack is limited to SnapChat?
I hope nobody feels overwhelmed by my many posts to this topic. I am truly saddened by this news, but this is the kind of event which should really open peoples’ eyes and make them think harder and longer about this topic.
TymiJane says
Don’t give your child a device where they can get to these apps. A 13 year old does not need a an iphone… If you live out of town and your kid goes to school in town then by all means go get them a flip phone. That was my situation, and I was still 15 until I got one. Not a smart phone until I was 17. Quit spoiling your damned kids and you won’t have to worry about this BS. There are still books out there! Real books! Make them go outside and use whats left of their damaged imaginations. We had a nintendo when I was a kid but our moms made us go outside and after a while we had more fun there than with the nintendo. STOP BUYING IPADS AND SMARTPHONES FOR LITTLE KIDS. That is all(;
Nicole says
I totally agree with you on this! Kids should just be kids and not have to grow up too fast.
Veronica says
Couldn’t have said it better. I don’t see any reason for a kid to have a cell phone anyway if they aren’t involved in after school sports or something like that, where they might need to get a hold of a parent or vice versa.
amy says
Couldn’t have said it better.
dot says
You are kidding yourself if you think your kids aren’t exposed to these apps. Even if you don’t buy them a phone yourself, they are watching (and participating) with other kids at school, in the neighborhood, etc. You can’t ignore technology. And by not addressing it openly with your kids, your head is in the sand.
Somer's Mom says
Add Instagram to your list. I found my 13 year old was sending inappropriate photos and received them through Instagram. There is also a direct chat. I was not aware of the direct chat and thought this was safe because I didn’t think there was a way to actually communicate. There isn’t a parent out there that was more surprised than I was when my sister found out everything she was doing. Her Apple account was still connected to an old phone and my sister had the old phone and started receiving the damming evidence. I am a good parent. I may be a little sheltering. But not so much that she needed to rebel. She was part of suicide groups. I seriously did not know my child. I took the phone permanently. I am slowly finding her again. We have always had open conversations. But sex is a no no. she was given a purity ring for her 13th birthday. How does this happen?!!! She doesn’t even have real boyfriends.
Sophia says
Chatous is another one….another random chat connecting with a #common interest, the user can change their sex, age, nickname at any time. I downloaded the app because my daughter said it was cool. It was NOT “cool” at all. I was asked in 9 out of 10 chats for nude pictures or they would just send them without warning then expect one in return. I uninstalled quicklu from her phone and mine.
Sophia says
After reading more comments…isn’t it our job as parents to “shelter” PROTECT our children from certain things. I read some comments and see why some kids are the way they are. Have you seen some of the things kids post? Things your kids post? Well I have…it’s not pretty. To me when I look at my childrens’ phones it isn’t about trusting them/ not trusting or invading their privacy. We are their parents because they are not old enough to make the right decision all the time. And to let them make their own mistakes? Lol Which half the time they wouldn’t be making if it wasn’t for the influence of these kinds of apps. You can still talk to your children and keep an open communication. Not just restrict them and not tell them why. I will chose to be their Mom not their bff.
Mardella says
Terrible that these apps are so damaging to a young child’s brain… Never heard of most of the apps! Sad social world we live in.
Kate says
I had the whipser app for a brief time. If you post what you think is an innocent post it doesn’t matter because you’ll get bombarded with creeps asking for pics. Most of the “secrets” are people asking for hookups or saying they’re horny.
Also, tinder is for ages 18+ and generally used as a hookup or dating app. I can’t think of any use other than that you could do with it honestly. It won’t even let you put your age as younger than 18. So if they did get it all the older people are going to think they’re older than they really are.
MomOfSix says
I really appreciate this list. I think a lot of parents are unaware that even if you have internet filters on your child’s phone, many apps provide them access to the exact same content that they are trying to block.
I would also add Twitter to the list if you are concerned about pornography and other adult content. It’s easily accessible there.
We have parental controls on our kids phones, so that we know what they are up to and they are able to safely use the web, and also passwords on their app store. The strictness of the controls gradually decrease as they get older and are given more responsibility. It is definitely one of the modern challenges of parenting, trying find that balance.
Cera says
I just want to say that everyone should research for themselves. These are great suggestions, especially for VERY young kids. However, two of my good friends met on Tinder and are now married. They didn’t ‘mess around’ or anything close. I also have plenty of friends that use Snapchat and Vine–responsibly. If you teach kids to be responsible, chances are, they’ll use their resources appropriately.
Alice B says
I’m guessing that your friends who met on Tinder and are now married weren’t13 at the time. Those are the people we’re concerned about.
Debi says
Even if your children are responsible, the risk is that they will be exposed to inappropriate content by someone young who IS NOT responsible.
Kate says
I don’t see anything bad with Snapchat. It’s like any other social media – you only see posts from people you follow. As long as you monitor who your child is following, or trust them enough to follow responsible people, then it’s fine.
C Perkins says
I’m glad that you monitor your child’s activity and I’m glad that you haven’t seen anything bad. But it seems that the point of the article and what I have shared (and a few more people are starting to comment also) is that it’s not necessarily about the good that you have seen. It’s about what you don’t see or about what you are likely to see if you use many of these apps. It’s about the potential for abuse. For one thing, SnapChat has implemented some things to curb the abuse, but that’s only after many, many instances of bad things happening. This is certainly true of many, many things that are good. Good things can be abused. So your good experience is perhaps only due to others who already have had rather nasty experiences.
C Perkins says
After more thought, I wonder how in the world you “monitor” SnapChat use? Perhaps you can monitor who a child is following, but the whole purpose of SnapChat is that there is no history! There is actually no way of seeing what’s been exchanged with SnapChat.
Katie Pinch says
I am dreading the day my kids are old enough to want a cell phone! I have pinned this for future reference from a mom who knows. Thanks!
A Poster says
I’m on Whisper and I don’t see anything “bad” on it. Yik Yak and Kik can be pretty bad as I’ve seen it.
Amanda says
When I was growing up, I don’t remember my Dad ever monitoring what I did on the Internet, however I well knew that he could check search history or whatever at any time and that was enough to deter me. I don’t think I would necessarily restrict my teenagers from being able to access certain apps, but I would certainly educate myself on how to see what has been installed, etc. and I would let them know that I could check their tablet or phone, etc. if I felt the need to.
sheilasheila says
to me the easiest is teach your kids (daughter/son) the value of trustworthy.
#1 Dad says
So controlling every aspect of your kids life is going to help them grow up? These apps can be used for the wrong things but that doesn’t mean they are. Kik and Snapchat get a reputation of a “sexting app” but in actuality that’s not what they’re for. Why put heavy restrictions on your childs phone when you could sit them down and talk to them about the dangers of the application? If you’re scared that your kid will get involved in doing bad things maybe you should question your parenting.
Kira Lewis says
Overall, we just want to be a source of education for parents. So many of us are trying to do the best we can and our world moves fast, especially technology. This isn’t necessarily to say you HAVE TO RESTRICT kids apps, but to help parents know what is out there and have conversations with their children about what is safe and appropriate. So, I’m with you on the whole talking with your kids thing.It has actually been proven to be the #1 way to prevent cyberbullying – just talking with your kids. However, we also know that kids come in all flavors and some need a few more restrictions than others, they just take longer to make good choices. If a parent feels they need to take that step in their parenting, then they know their child better than anyone else. There are lots of external influences in our children’s lives and even the best parents can’t always prevent the consequences. As parents I think we need to find ways to support and educate each other and be a little less judgmental.
Laura says
Very well said! I have three teens and it is difficult keeping up with the changing technology. My oldest just got a phone when he started high school, and it’s not a smart phone. I don’t think it’s necessary for him right now. But my daughter has an iPod and she’s constantly asking for these aps (I approve through my iTunes account), so I want to thank you for this post – it has been very helpful! Sometimes kidsake the wrong choices, not because the parent hasn’t taught them right fr wrong, but as you said, they come in all different flavors. My three are so different, and one of them is always going to push the boundaries and take risks, unfortunately. But that’s part of learning and hopefully not repeating the same bad choice twice. I wouldn’t call that bad parenting.
C Perkins says
I see this debate a lot… someone shares information on how to take active control of what our own children have access to, then someone counters with the argument that we should teach our children instead of controlling them, and the debate goes on. Extremes in either case are rather destructive, either raising children that are too sheltered and controlled versus children without proper self-constraints and no proper boundaries. A simple answer is that this article is identifying apps that have potential of seriously negative impacts.
I struggle continuously with wondering if I am too restrictive as a parent, but at the same time I discuss these things with my children often and in detail. So I do both of you mentioned. I choose boundaries for my children in many ways that other might find too restrictive, but I do so while explaining to my children why… and aside from what I think is normal reluctance at first, my children don’t complain and end up choosing for themselves to avoid certain technology. The point is that I never let them explore new things on their own and some things are forbidden. My wife and I coach them and do it very purposefully.
I see too many parents who naively think that simply teaching their children is enough. I recall studies on children and guns… and I’m not implying guns and apps are the same, but the psychology is the same. No matter how many times children under certain ages were taught not to handle and play with guns, in controlled experiments it was found that even the most “educated” and “enlightened” children would still handle and play with a “hidden” gun they found, even if they eventually did the “right thing”. This psychology extends at various levels through all ages. My point is that IT IS OKAY to actively place boundaries on children even while teaching them. It does not mean that is the only component to effective, loving parenting, but it is an absolutely necessary component.
Mom of Twinagers says
#1 Dad, I completely see where you are coming from, but in my opinion, it is not as black and white as that– good kids with parents who do the best job they know how still make poor choices. C Perkins, yes! This is my reality in many ways as well. My twins are teens now and I am a single mother (translation: I am outnumbered on so many levels). My girls actually used to get made fun of because they had “the strict mom”! In reality, I have rules and we have open conversations about technology, sex, and the list goes on.
What has worked for us so far is for them to feel like they have a voice. I avoid telling them they cannot have something or they cannot visit this website because others might misuse it. When I do have to tell them no, they know that the best way to revisit the issue is to speak to me rationally– none of this, “You just don’t understaaaaaaand!!!!” If it is something they want– be it an app, a material object, or a rule overturned, they need to be able to explain to me why they want this (and, no, “because so-and-so has it” is not a viable explanation). If it is something they truly want, they will put in the work. There have even been times that they sat me down and made a full presentation with visual aids!
Bottom line: I want my girls to know that there are boundaries, but I don’t want them to think that our world will fall apart when those boundaries are tested.
Kira Lewis says
I just want all of you to know that I am LOVING the discussion taking place here. Everyone has great points of view to share and it is nice to see it being done in a way that isn’t attacking other people. This has been such a big reward for writing this post. Thank you all!
OH Mom says
#1Dad- I’m so glad for you that you’re a perfect dad and have perfect kids. Yay for you. The reality is that I or my children are not perfect and my children are curious little creatures and will do the opposite of what they are told as a result. It is my job to PROTECT them from creeps trolling the internet. I have and will restrict my kids internet/app/website access and not care one bit what others think of my parenting. I trust my kids and my decisions.
Laura says
theres nothing wrong with vine??? :/
Stephanie says
I just want to say that I too appreciate this information. I know that things can be added to the list and apps change ask the time but sometimes knowing what to look for is just the first step. I periodically go to my son’s Apple store and look for all the downloaded apps. Not sure if this is a way to even see the ones that can be hidden but I hope so lol
Sarah says
Hi, I just wanted to give everyone reading this a little perspective on this. I am 19 and have owned a smart phone for about five years now. I’ve had friends who have made some pretty bad mistakes with some of the apps listed above. I completely understand monitoring these apps when kids are in middle school and maybe even when they are in ninth grade still, but once they’re able to drive, things have to change a little bit. All those friends I had that made mistakes were the ones whose parents aggressively sheltered them until they were 18 and sometimes even after they turned 18. Once they get to that angsty teenage phase of their life between ages 15 and 16, they begin to rebel against anything their parents say that they don’t agree with. So by telling them not to do these things and banning it from their phone, you’re just making them want to do it more. Of course I understand not wanting to expose your kids too early, but if they grow up oblivious to the real world, real life will be rough for them as adults. I’m not saying my mother let me run free. She definitely sheltered me, but she also respected my privacy. She never once read my text messages and she never once monitored the apps I had installed. She did have me plug my phone into her room at night if my grades weren’t acceptable enough, or she’d confiscate my phone completely until I got all of my grades up. Because she respected my privacy though and never tried to shield me from movies that were probably what some parents might have considered too old for me, I never felt the need to go behind her back and make those mistakes that other kids made or watch r-rated movies without her permission. She never tried to censor me, is I guess what I’m saying.
Kira Lewis says
Hey Sarah –
I really appreciate you taking the time to share your point of view with us. Michelle and I couldn’t agree with you more about how necessary it is to give children a certain amount of freedom and responsibility as they get older, so they begin to develop independence and their own good judgement and problem solving skills. This is actually a big part of the overall foundation for our blog and it is our hope to help parents find a better balance than is always the norm these days. So, this post is meant to educate parents, b/c sometimes when they feel like they have NO understanding of something they are more likely to just ban it all together or else they feel like they can’t have a good conversation with their kids about issues like technology and maybe aren’t watching out as carefully as they should be. However, I do think parents need to understand the risks with some of these apps, because sometimes the kids don’t know either. It presents an opportunity for discussion, boundaries and on-going checks and balances that are good for both parents and kids.
Again, I really appreciate your feedback and I hope you’ll come back and read more of what we write and give us additional points to think about. It’s a big learning process for all of us.
Suzanne Arena says
Great job explaining Sarah. I totally agree.
We have become a society that doesn’t let our children solve their problems. We intervene and tell them what they must do in order to get along ~stripping them of valuable skills. That said, you point out that when driving starts …the parents control is halted….agreed. We can only teach, model and mentor our chlidren and trust they have respectful friends.
I was sheltered when I was a kid, and I was a curious kid….one day I changed that and yes, went a little wild. Parents just need to be there, be supportive and ensure kids know they are loved.
C Perkins says
Some of my other comments have been pretty bold, asserting that we should take strict control of what apps our kids use. On the other hand, I also agree with many other sentiments shared here… that we should teach our children to make decisions for themselves, that they should learn to solve their problems. To all that, I think using modern devices and apps will help them develop valuable skills, social and technological. As Sarah expressed, if we shelter our children they will only want to push back and rebel, or at the least they will be weak and ignorant as they gain more freedom.
But something else is changing in our modern culture, perhaps more difficult to perceive and certainly more difficult to define than apps. There is much debate now-a-days about increasing attitudes of entitlement, decreasing one-on-one interpersonal skills, obsessions with constant connection, distracted driving, cyber and anonymous bullying, sexting, stalking, ID theft, etc. My concern is not just that we need to teach and protect our children, but that I also don’t want to live in a society of adults acting like this. Even us parents, the adults who should be teaching the next generation, are struggling with these concepts.
A good answer between some of the extremes would be to teach and mentor, but to also participate alongside. Parents should use some of these apps themselves and learn the best practices along with their children. For me personally, that means that while I choose to be technologically savvy and enjoy so many cool apps and devices, I have already chosen for myself what I will and will not do. I reject many of these apps for myself, for the same reasons that I will not allow my children to use them. Whether it is at age 16 when they learn to drive, or age 18 or 21… As my children become adults, I am teaching them how to build their own fences, how high, when they should lock the gate, manners and etiquette of who and what should be allow inside the fence, and when it’s safe to go out and explore. Today’s world and fences are increasingly virtual, but the effects are very real; hence my call to be so much more diligent with this technology even while we mentor our children in becoming independent.
Debi says
C Perkins, well said!!! I agree 100% with everything you wrote.
Roxy says
Is ooVoo bad for kids that are 10?
Kira Lewis says
It’s a video chat app, so you have all the risks associated with video. At the end of the day, my hope is to educate parents to be aware of the apps, the age limits the apps themselves suggest (you can find this in their descriptions on their websites) and any general issues that the apps present. Being informed and keeping open lines of communication with your children is the best way to keep them safe. At the end of the day, its’ up to each family to determine what is best for them.
Amanda says
My son (13) shares the same iTunes account with me. He does not have the password to download anything. I enter it after I read the info on the app. Is there a way he can download things I’m not aware of? I don’t understand how kids could have apps on their devices without a parents knowledge. Am I missing something? Things change so quickly!
Kira Lewis says
As long as he truly doesn’t know the password, then he should not be able to download things himself. However, as parents, we all make different choices in terms of the freedoms we give our children. Some are given passwords or allowed to set up their own accounts and parents may not always realize the risks involved with apps and other technology related privileges. Overall, I don’t want to tell parents how restrictive or permissive to be, I just want them to be educated and aware so they are talking with their kids and understand why it is important and what dangers may be out there.
Jessica says
I tried to set up restrictions on my android phone and tablet and I don’t where to find it. Went to settings but can’t find anything. Can anyone help? Thanks in advance!
Kira Lewis says
Hey there. Okay, once you are in settings, look for “users” then it should either say add user or profile. From there you can create the new restricted profile and use the on/off settings to decide what they can access. I’m not an android user, so I am less familiar with that format, but this should get you there.
Chris says
I truly appreciate this information. I try to keep abreast of new apps as much as I can and think is great when other moms offer their experiences. As I see it, our kids can only benefit from our looking out for one another. My 10 year old has a Trac-fone that is only available when going to a friend’s house or grand-parents. We don’t allow internet access or apps, we have a restricted iPod for that with all apps approved and monitored by me. My husband and I also have a “no screen time except at home in the family room” rule. That means no looking at friend’s or family’s smart phones, tablets, not even TV. Yes, I know that sounds a bit restrictive, but we have been forced to take this stance with some of our more permissive family members. We do allow G-rated-mom&dad-approved DVD’s that we pay to rent for snuggle time with grand parents. We recently found out that my 16 & 12 year old nieces were allowed to watch the Miley Cyrus MTV awards debacle as well as Nicki (Menage-a-tois) Menaj’s “Anaconda” video….pure demoralizing porn filth. Another reason our children do not have TV’s in their rooms. So we now have to have those uncomfortable discussions with our friends and family in order set clear boundaries regarding what our children are allowed to watch. We realize we can’t protect their innocence forever, but we feel it’s our place to prolong the exposure as much as we can. We want to be the one’s that have the discussions with our children about mature subject matters BEFORE they are exposed and when WE determine they have the ability to make positive choices. Thank you again!
C Perkins says
The list and its intention are good. But are we seeing this from the right perspective? What happens when a new app is installed with essentially the same capabilities, but we don’t recognize the name or icon? What about the apps that hide themselves… no name, no icon… nothing for the parents to find with a quick search? Rather than trying to learn all the possible bad apps, parents should lock-down their children’s phones and only install pre-approved apps. If that is not possible, then EVERY apps should be scrutinized and reviewed regularly (every week?), not just apps that appear on lists like this. It is rather naive to think that we can keep our kids safe by just cross-referencing lists like this, when we should instead become intimately familiar with our children devices and question all apps.
Kira Lewis says
You raise some very valid points and I do try to encourage parents to do their best to stay up on what the current popular apps are and their risks. However, many of these have been around for a couple of years and are still presenting problems, so the information is still useful. Overall, there is no perfect solution, my aim is just to educate parents as best as I can and I hope to keep updating with new information as it becomes available.
C Perkins says
You are correct and I imagine this is valuable information for many parents (as the comments prove). I don’t mean to play the devil’s advocate by implying that you shouldn’t share this info, but I do think that once parent’s learn about this that they should dive deeper into understanding modern devices rather than thinking this information is enough. What you shared can certainly jump-start parents to doing just that.
Also, I really appreciate that you responded personally. Of all the comments that I post on various blogs and websites, authors almost never respond directly. I imagine that these conversations can become overwhelming, so I appreciate your time and thoughtfulness.
Kira Lewis says
You are most welcome! I hope you’ll come back and give us some good feedback on other things we write too! I always appreciate what others have to say!
Lisa says
A 14 yr old girl in our community was raped by a 29 yr old guy she met on Kik, also known as Kikster. He posed as a 16 yr old and they chatted long enough over time she felt comfortable meeting him after school at a nearby park. He convinced her to get into his car by telling her he bought some new music she was wanting to hear. Her parents had no idea this chat had been going on for a few months.
I do not allow my girls to have any texting apps. Only standard texting that comes with the phone. Locations services are turned off of apps but not on the phone. That way I can see where they are but others can’t. I also look at all their messages. With Verizon, you can have all their incoming and outgoing messages viewed online by you and it is your choice if they know you have the ability to know that or not. Technology is fast moving but if you can keep up with them, just ask others for help. I found the people at the cell phone stores to be very helpful in educating me on this. I had to ‘work it’ to get them to tell me, however. I found an employee (happened to be a manager and was male and a dad of a teen daughter) and asked him how he would spy on his 16 yr old girl if she had boys asking her to meet them for sex. That really happened to my daughter. I also mentioned if I could not figure out how to view her messages and track her location, I would be deactivating her phone since it was too dangerous for her. He was quite willing to help me then. I found I can control more with an iPhone than with other types. We have a family icloud account and I am the only one that knows the password so they have to ask me to be able to add any apps at all.
Sarah @ Bombshell Bling says
Technology like this terrifies me. Can my kids stay little forever?!
Almost Unschoolers says
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to keep up with all of them. Just about the time I think I have a handle on the latest “bad” apps, one of the children’s friends tells them about a new one!
Kira Lewis says
Yes, it does require that we are constantly vigilant as technology moves at rapid pace. That is part of why I’ve started my tech series. I will keep trying to be a source of the latest info as it works in my benefit for my kiddos too! We parents have to work together on this one!
Nichole {youclevermonkey} says
Such a valuable post for both parents and young people! Some I’d heard but not others.
Jessica Hughes says
This is great to keep in mind for when my little is older! Thank you!
Stephanie Pass says
Yep, these are the apps any 12-14 yr old wants. I had to remove a couple of these from my daughter’s phone and set her restrictions down to 9 yrs old. Even though we had taught her internet safety over and over again, she didn’t realize phone apps also applied. She’s 15 now and I’ve let her restrictions go up to 12 yrs old, and I think she now understands more about the dangers I’ve talked to her about with her phone and using things like Snap chat or Omegle.
Heather @ Divas Run for Bling says
Oh my goodness I hadn’t realized what all was out there and have not heard of some of these. I don’t have children yet but I do worry about family members who are younger and are constantly on their phones. Thanks for this
Amy Albers says
What a great resource! Thank you so much for posting these! With 2 preteen boys who just got their first phones, I am constantly concerned about what is out there that I don’t know about!
TIFFANY says
THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING POST! I RAN INTO SO MANY ISSUES TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH MY THEN 12-14 YEAR OLD TEEN…NOW THAT HE IS NEARLY 18 I DON’T RESTRICT NEARLY AS MUCH BUT HE ALSO UNDERSTANDS THE RISKS OF SOCIAL MEDIA ALOT MORE.
I WILL STILL BE KEEP THIS TO REFER TO WHEN (OR IF) MY YOUNGER KIDS ARE EVER ALLOWED TO HAVE PHONES. GEESH! I ‘M READY TO JUST GIVE THEM A WALKIE-TALKIE…LOL
aimee fauci says
GENIUS Parenting post!!!! Good job. I have heard of a handful of these apps. Of course my girls are too young.. even though some parents would not agree. … for a cell phone, so I plan on pinning this and stumbling this and checking back.. say … hopefully in 10 years 😉 My oldest is 9 and I’ve already told her… and warned her… we will have a family cell phone that is a flip phone and not cool… Crossing my fingers we don’t bend!
LaShawn says
I am so glad I don’t have to worry about this yet! But it really makes me scared of what they will come up with by the time my son is old enough to have a phone!
pascha says
Oh wow, I agree with the new I knew but many of these I did not know of. My son doesn’t know my iTunes password so if he wants I new app I have to download it. Thank for this post.
Xiomeeks says
Thanks for bringing all of these apps to our attention. My kids are too little right now, but this is good information to know nonetheless.
Amanda says
Oh my goodness! So I’ve heard of a few of these, but definitely haven’t heard of others–how scary!