Please Note: We struggled with whether or not to leave this post published, because most people are seeing the title and leaving comments without having read the whole post or any of it for that matter. This is NOT about actually turning away children who are 6ft or taller from our doors on Halloween or people with special needs or even teenagers with a true spirit of Halloween.
It’s more about that as a society we say we want kids to be kids and we love these nostalgia filled posts that feed our visions of this, but that we’re not really seeing that sentiment through in our parenting. We’re nurturing a certain immaturity in our kids long past the point that it is proper by not giving our kids real responsibilities or allowing them real freedoms that are age appropriate. While at the same time, we’re giving them cell phones in elementary school with unmonitored access to the internet, letting them watch television shows and movies at younger and younger ages that are entirely inappropriate and deal with subject matter far beyond their years and demanding achievements of them in school and activities that are 10x what was required of children of the same ages even a decade ago.
We continue to feel that this is a valid perspective, although not one that is nearly as warm and fuzzy as the post that inspired this one. There is a place for both and both serve a purpose. So, the post will remain, but the ability to leave comments is being disabled.
I stumbled across a post this week entitled What You Need To Know About 6 Foot Tall Trick or Treaters. In it, a mother shares the story of her 15 year old son and a bunch of his buddies randomly deciding at the last minute to go trick or treating one Halloween night. The article was widely shared and generated a huge number of positive comments, primarily from other mothers praising how wonderful it was that these young men were reclaiming their childhoods in thrown together costumes and carrying grocery store bags through the neighborhood having good ol’ fashioned fun.
Many were quick to add that there should be no age limit for trick or treating and that it might even be a great way to help keep those teens out of trouble. It was one big love fest about how we should do all we can to preserve childhood for as long as possible.
While I’m all for letting our kids be kids, here’s the thing. I TOTALLY disagree with the post and all those glowing comments.
I don’t dispute for one minute that childhood passes far too quickly and maybe faster than ever for this generation of kids. And I’m absolutely in support of being intentional in our parenting choices so that we can try to slow things down. However, I think we should be very cautious about letting our choices be driven by romanticizing immaturity. All children develop and grow, it’s the natural order of things and there is a difference between preserving their childhood and interfering with their path to adulthood.
Why is it robbing childhood from a 15 year old by coming to an understanding that at certain ages, things end? No one expects a teenager to believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus, or to order from the kid’s menu, or to carry toys in their pocket. All of those things were fun and exciting while they lasted, but eventually there was the knowledge that the time for those things had passed. I think we’re sending mixed messages when we’re both guiding our maturing children towards adulthood and simultaneously encouraging them to cling to their childhoods. Perhaps this is part of why so many of our young adults today are struggling to manage the demands of adulthood.
It’s okay to explain to our kids that they’ve outgrown something, that a season ended and a new one began. It’s okay to say no. We don’t seem to have any trouble letting go of buying Barbies and Legos and replacing them with iPads and Beats. We may mourn the joy of toy shopping but we stop because we realize a season ended. We don’t expect our older kids to read Captain Underpants books or have the same chores they had in 4th grade, so why are we applauding when they’re reverting to this behavior on October 31?
The more valuable lesson we can teach our kids is to carry the spirit of their childhood with them as they become adults, but that it doesn’t mean acting like a child. Why not show them that there are still plenty of ways to have fun on Halloween as you grow-up? You can encourage your teens to help decorate the house for Halloween and pass out candy in costume on the big night. You can even host a Halloween party and let them invite some friends over, eat candy, and watch movies, if you’re concerned their missing out on the holiday fun.
If a 6 foot tall trick or treater arrives at my door this Halloween, I’m not going to give him a lecture or refuse to give him candy. I’m just going to wonder as he leaves my door if he really is just a kid being a kid OR is he a kid whose parents just don’t want him to grow up?
Dee says
I went out as a 16 year old and it was so much fun and the parents who answered the doors laughed with us. Maybe the problem is just overthinking the issue. I turned out ok. Its just another memory now.
Erin says
You are really missing the point. I am pretty sure people don’t usually take toys away from their children while telling them they are too old to play with them. Kids gradually grow out of things and move onto other things. It is a natural progression. Teens are in a conflicting limbo period where they might want to trick or treat but don’t because they are told they are too old. I really don’t think by letting this happen without judgement you are prolonging their desire to be a kid (or less mature) for a night. You would be teaching them how to listen to what they want to do. Guaranteed they will most likely lose the interest in a year or two anyway.
Susan Forrister says
I now live in an over 55 community that is somewhat secluded. Enjoy all the trick and treaters. There may come a time when you wish they would come by. I haven’t seen a child at my door in several years and miss all the fun. As with all the joys and challenges of having children, this too shall pass. My children, now in their 40s, trick and treated all through high school, often borrowing a neighbor’s toddler for an hour or so.
Chris says
Teach your kids both responsibility and mindful playfulness, and your kids will be fine. You draw an arbitrary line for when a person should outgrow trick or treating at 15/16. Kids will eventually outgrow trick or treating when enough people like you judge them for being too old & uncool to enjoy trick or treating, not bc they developmentally need to outgrow it. It isnt like outgrowing the earnest belief in Santa or a Tooth Fairy. Those are healthy developmental progress. It is only society that tells us that trick or treating is for young kids. Getting dressed up in creative costumes and walking the streets with neighbors and friends in a fun, giving atmosphere is ageless. One does need to “developmentally” outgrow the celebration of Halloween the same way one need not outgrow the celebration of Christmas. So let that 15 year old enjoy it for one more year. This wont developmentally stunt her. As an overly adulterated adult parent, I couldnt wait until my child was old enough so I could finally go trick or treating again. We could learn a lot from kids.
Chris says
*One need NOT grow the celebration of Halloween the way one need not outgrow the celebration of Christmas
Kelly says
My great grandmother was in her 80’s and still dressing up and trick-or-treating around her neighborhood. My sister and I went trick-or-treating until we graduated high school, you’re never too old! If you’re responsible every other day of the year and want to act like a child for one night of fun, so what? You’re not going to irreparably damage your children if you let them go trick-or-treating at 15, trust me.
Shannon says
Ion some ways I get it…. but please keep in mind some kids are tall. My husband was 6’3″ by 8th grade. 8th graders are kids. Let them have some fun too.
Barbara says
Well said. No idea why people get so upset by the sentiments in this article. Valid points of view. Especially as this is mainly about age not height the conclusion makes a lot of sense.
Andrea says
I hear you but do not agree. Everyone wants to enjoy the holiday and teens are without a purpose. Why should teens have nothing to do on Halloween?
Kids trick or treat
College kids have parties on campus
Young Adults have their own place and decorate and hand out candy
Older adults take their kids out…
I say encourage the teens to enjoy and get dressed and trick or treat.
Angela says
In other countries – Halloween is actually for adults.
There should never be a limit for people to celebrate. Young and old 🙂
Tara says
I love this article!!
Chris says
I hear ya, anyone with a clear conscience knows better. You write very well about the simple matter at hand. All I have to say is no more laws, and let the law, and loving people address more on violence, and hatred. Happy halloween!
Trick or Treat for All says
Who cares? Kids are kids! Legally you’re a kid until you’re 18, 21 even! So if they want to ring my bell for a sweet treat they are welcome. And if any parents get hungry while accompanying their child, they are welcome to say trick or treat at my house.
Mrslmrb says
I’m find myself wondering how your childhood was and if you feel you missed out because you had to “grow up.” If so, I’m sorry.
Elisabeth says
I’ll pass this on to my 5’4″ 11 year old daughter who’s in 6th grade. Actually no I won’t. She’s Hermoine for Halloween because she just finished reading the Harry Potter books over the summer. And she’s 11. She looks like she’s 13 or 14 and gets told that a lot by people like you who have some preconceived notion of what 10 and 11 year olds look like. But she doesn’t look like your version of an 11 year old. And its sad for her that you (and others like you) will judge her for trick or treating at 11 because you *think* she must be older. Maybe me walking her around even though she’s taller than me will make you think she’s “special” but she isn’t she’s just 11 and I still take her trick or treating.
Alice Massoglia says
The fun of trick-or-treating is the fun of make-believe. I don’t think that it has a season. Rather, I think that Halloween relaxes the age barriers just a little for that one night so that the kids who are on the cusp can share in a bit of what they are leaving. That’s not a bad thing.
Mom says
My 12 year old who is 5’10 is afraid to go trick or treating because of fear he will be embarrassed in front of his classmates by people like you!
Michelle Myers says
That’s interesting, considering I specifically stated I’d never mention anything to a kid……….hmmmmmmm
Pete says
What is so immature about trick-or-treating? In this day in age it’s the one time of year anyone can ring a doorbell at night without neighbors being sketched out.
It’s also a nice way for the neighbors to meet the kids in the hood.
I feel your judgement of trick or treating as being immature is the problem here. Adults still love getting dressed up for Halloween. Only difference is we just stand around drinking alcohol. Is that mature?
I’m 38 years old with my first child who is now 1. I can’t wait to hit the streets again a grab as much candy as I can!…I just wish they took out the high fructose corn syrup
Danielle says
Im glad you clarified special needs ADULTs, (Id like to remind people some special needs wont be apparent.) I was 5’9 when I was 10 yrs old and several people commented if I was to old to be trick or treating while standing next to all my other 10 yr old 4th grade friends. I question, why does it matter? Why would you think anything at all while a 15 yr old or older walks away from your door? Who cares? People just need to be kind and stop judging unless it comes to safety.
Chris says
Nicely put, thanks and happy halloween!
Michele Walker says
I know several 6th grade kids who are around 6 ft tall. Never ever assume that because they are tall they are older. Good grief. Would you rather they trick or treat you or get into trouble and try to kill you? I personally am all for anyone else enjoying the holidays, no matter which ones and how old they are. Don’t be a scrooge!
Zoe says
We have a little bit of a different opinion. Now I definitely understand your point don’t get me wrong. But there’s a difference in reliving your childhood for a night, and acting like a child year round. My stepfather babies the heck out of his son. And I really think that is going to hurt him in the long run. The kid is 16 but gets his toenails trimmed by his father, all of his laundry done, his homework checked ect… Now that is encouraging immaturity. That is not teaching a child to be self-sufficient. But letting your 15 year old kid have fun on a holiday? Eh I don’t think that’s going to ruin their ability to function as an adult. At 16 I myself went trick or treating with a group of friends. Albeit in full costume. And now I am a 20 year old completely independent adult. (Yes I have my own home, my own car, and I’m attending college with no cash flow from my parents)
Dee Bakker says
I completely disagree…my 12 year old is 6 foot! He still wants to go out…should I tell him no just because he is tall?!?!?
Jim says
Holy cheese & crackers, It’s once a year & it’s All Hallows.
When else can you dress(or not) as a goof & get free candy?!!
Phillip says
I am a married 31 year old man who has graduated from business college with a Bachelor’s degree, works a demanding, full-time job, pays his bills, and is an otherwise dignified adult on every other day besides Halloween. Halloween is when I dress up and Trick or Treat because I love Halloween and free candy.
wendy says
I appreciate you recognizing an adult body may not have an adult mind due to special needs.
Thanks!
Susan S says
Thank you for still giving the 6′ + kids candy, regardless of your private thoughts. When my then 12 year old 6′ tall daughter went to a trunk or treat with her friend and younger sister, some of the ladies felt she was “too old” and pretended to put candy in her bag, as if she wouldn’t notice. At the end, she had only 3 pieces of candy out of a dozen cars.
Like the other parents responding, my kids have always been assumed to be years older than they are. Dress up parties were disappointing (only one costume would fit the two or three kids too big for the “standard size), kid-exercise gyms weren’t set up for catching the “big kid” on the ziplines, and my kids were too big for the cool “light up” shoes all the other kindergartners got to wear.
Like the writer of the original article mentioned, my daughter is starting to dread Halloween because she is looked at as the “older kid” or “sitter” rather than one of the group. She is very modest and hates scary costumes, so it is not her costume.
Thanks for letting me put in my two cents’ worth.
Cathy Burke says
My son was 6’1″ in the 5th grade, he was questioned with everything he EVER did . So as a mom with a huge kid , size does not always equate age. It is extremely difficult for a bigger child to get treated fairly, people always expected more out of him because he looked like an adult. So please remember a HUGE kid is still a kid .
Catherine Aslam says
Why let them trick or treat at 15? Because at 16 or 17 and definitely 18, they will not. One day they will say they are too old to trick or treat. They will probably still dress up, because hell, everyone likes to dress up. They will find it more fun to hang out with their friends doing other things (hopefully good things). The days of them wanting to go to houses to collect candy will end and it has nothing to do with their mental maturity. It is about having fun. Let the kids enjoy their youth because all of us older people look back on those days and wish we can be there again.
Keri says
Why is dressing up for Halloween and going trick or treating immature? I am almost 45 and I dress up every year and go out trick or treating with my kids. My oldest is 16 and 5’9″. My 10-year-old is 5’4″. I also have a 7-year-old. I will pass out candy to anyone that comes to my door in a costume regardless of age. It is the one night a year that you can dress up and pretend to be anything you want. It is all about having fun and embracing your inner child. There is nothing immature about that. Relax and have fun.
Deedee says
I disagree with this completely! They will have at least 60 years of adulting. Let them have fun for the first 20 years. They aren’t hurting anyone.
Lea says
Sometimes the 6′ tall trick or treater is actually a really tall 12 or 13 year old. My son struggled with being “too big” to trick or treat before he was actually too old to.
Dawn Ogden says
I have two nephews who are the same age. They are cousins to each other. I hadn’t seen them for a while, then saw them both at a family gathering. One boy was thin, shorter than my shoulder, had a high voice, obviously still a little boy. The other was fully 6 feet tall, had broad shoulders, a barrel chest and a full mustache. In shock, I asked “Jonathan, how old are you?” He answered in a deep, man’s voice “I’m eleven!” Don’t judge. Just hand out the candy.
Nicole says
My 14 year old son is almost 6 foot tall and 230lbs. He may be 14 and look older but he is autistic so he has the mind of a 1e year old. I feel bad for him because of someone like you he will be judged and so will I.
Kelly says
I did read the post a few times to be exact, I somewhat agree with this post but then there’s that part of me that disagrees, I disagree because I have 2 teenage sons, yes they are in the 6 foot range but that’s not really what this post is about, to me it’s about maturity, but let’s say you don’t know the child/teen how do you know exactly how mature they are? My 15 and 16 year Olds will be going trick or treating this year with their friends and it’s not me trying to keep them in their childhood years, it’s me letting them know it’s still okay to have fun, both of my boys work, go to school, and help with chores around the house, my oldest is actually very mature for his age, and he is also training to be a volunteer firefighter, and works two jobs, and my 15 you old has a newspaper route, and both my boys help their father in the shop and help take care of their grandparents even though they does all this, they can’t enjoy a little fun every now and then?? To me it’s not about promoting childhood to me it’s about my children knowing even though you work, and take on the responsibilities there’s still time to have fun. So yes this is just my opinion, but to me it sounds like your saying it’s not okay to have fun it’s not okay to be immature sometimes, even though you work hard and be responsible!!
KansasMom says
My son is 12, and is 5’8″. I’m sure he will be at least 6′ by the time he’s 13 at the rate he’s growing…he’s special needs and he won’t even be in high school…where does he fall?
Melissa f says
I’m an extremely short adult and height has nothing to do with age. I’m still young almost 30 yet I could pass for 12 if I wear clothes to hide my curves. A few years back when my oldest was 5 I decided to dress up and trick or treat with him. He had a blast and thought it was so cool I participated with him. No one batted an eye I blended right in with the kids. That is a year he always will remember. I didn’t need or want the candy if I want candy I can go the store and buy my own. My son got to keep his candy but we took the candy I had earned on the trip to the battered women and children shelter. For safety reasons the children there are only allowed to leave to go to school so they are not allowed to participate in Halloween. Although I know I can’t see them I know it probably helped brighten their day even if just a little.
Missy says
I’ve given candy to older teens walking with their own children. It’s candy. They’re having fun and not causing/getting into trouble. Some are walking with younger siblings. The kids they babysit. It’s all in fun and anytime a kid is just having good clean fun, it’s a good thing. We live in a world of increasing violence. These kids are having fun and not hurting anyone.
Jenny says
Lol I remember trick or treating in college. It was a college town and the neighbors handed out candy for the kids, but often gave the college kids beer, condoms, or money. We never asked for anything, they just though it was hilarious to pass out cheep beers to 20somethings. They were used to it, and we’d always chat with them a bit before moving on to the next house. None of the neighbors had an issue with it. I think they were just happy we were the kids that were being polite, and not the ones throwing the giant costumed keg party down the street.
AnneMarie says
I have 4 teenagers and my boys are 6 feet. And at 14,15 even up to 17 they wanted to trick or treat. They weren’t out causing mischief, weren’t trampling little children just keeping one more part of their childhood for just a while longer. Now that 2 of those 4 are over 18, I know a part of them misses that innocence. I don’t see a big deal and I welcome the teenagers even young adults who come to trick or treat.
Chantel Sloan says
While parents can definitely make their own decisions, I wanted to say that my mother didn’t let us trick or treat past 12 years old (younger than most, I know). There was a year or two where it bugged a little, but she explained her reasons and we did other things instead (none of which involved partying with alcohol). We mostly watched movies and enjoyed making it a fun night for the younger siblings. We still had a good time, but our roles changed. It’s not like I missed much not trick or treating a couple more times. Also, now I realize my mom was trying to set an example for us of moving from one stage of life to another. I have a lot of friends now who really struggle with that. They’re well in their 30s but still living a college lifestyle. So it’s not an overall life lesson that I think should be ignored, whether you teach it using Halloween or some other way. Every parent can make their own decision, and I’m not mean to teenagers who show up at my house (it’s definitely true you don’t know their situation and should be careful). But while fun is an important part of life, I agree with the author that so is maturing.
Suzanne says
I disagree, but I love how you have handled folks who didn’t understand all of what you said. You have obviously learned how to dialogue with respect, and I respect you for that.
Gina Pyles says
I absolutely disagree with you. I am the mother of a 6’5″ 14 year old boy. He is still immature and likes to be a kid. I would much rather him be trick or treating than going to a “teenaged party” with alcohol and weed. And honestly, I would much rather give the 6 foot tall kids that come to my door candy, than the 6 month old baby that’s being pushed in a stroller. They can’t even eat it!!! People need to get over it. A teen is still a kid. Who cares?? Let them still have fu..
N says
I have no problem with big kids coming around to trick or treat. They still think it’s fun, they say thank you and they are not causing trouble. I’d rather see them trick or treating then see them hanging out drinking or drugging. I know that they wait for after dark to come out because it is just more fun. I give it an hour or two and then will not open the door. Be careful out there. If you are alone or live in a risky area, do not open the door. I have a huge, 150 Italian Mastiff and he stands at my door while I hand out candy. There have be push in robberies in our area. I really don’t like Halloween anymore, on both sides of the door. I know that there is a registered pedophile on my block, but the kids who are dropped off by their parents have no clue about the risk. Some towns do a trunk party. Parents decorate the car, fill the trunk with treats and stay, while the kids parade around and show off their costumes and ask for treats. I think this is a much safer way to celebrate. No running in and out of traffic or banging on pedophiles doors.
mallory says
Totally agree with you. If the writer is a mom, she is not a very good one and most definitely not a mom of teens. I am beginning to seriously hate the moms of little kids who side-eye my young teen boys. And yes- babies in a stroller trick or treating?? give me a break.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Mallory…I am a mom of a teen and work with teens on a weekly basis, I volunteer with teens and spend a significant amount of time around them. You’ll also be excited to know my kids never trick or treated in a stroller, and I’m assuming yours didn’t either, as that seems to be a peeve of yours. Motherhood is hard, it’s good to know that even when there are different perspectives on things, we can model intelligent discourse with one another….right?
Mazer says
I bet you’re fun at parties.
Gina says
my 6ft tall 7th grade daughter would be heartbroken. She has spent her entire childhood explaining her age to people that expected her to behave a certain way based on what they assumed to he her age. In a world where our kids are growing and developing well beyond their mental and emotional development, I don’t bat an eye when a group of assumed teens reach my door. Let them be kids, if for just one night.
Tara says
Omg 15 year olds are still kids. or would you rather them throwing eggs at your house. There’s a lot worse out there. Live life and have fun without hurting people, that’s what this lesson is.
Chelsea says
I have to say I also disagree with you. Maybe it’s not the parent trying to baby their kid. And it’s not a kid not wanting to grow up. When I was in high school my friends and I had a Halloween party and we were dressed up in costume and half way through the night we decided to go trick or treating it had nothing to do with reverting back. It was to have some fun. And we weren’t 18, we weren’t adults but we were on our way. We had responsibility and worried about colleges and thinking about moving out in a couple years. It was a night we could have some fun and not worry about those adult things. And as people have said there are no rules on trick or treating. If a full grown adult showed up at my house this year dresses in a costume trick or treating I would give them some candy. Hell adults even have there own trick or treating it’s called pub crawling, that how much they don’t want to give it up. Even as adults we have some childish fun like the coloring book craze and actually enjoying playing Legos with your kids, and Captain Underpants was never my thing but I recently read through all the Goosebumps cause that was one of my favorites as a kid and I wanted to reminisce. There is nothing wrong with a little fun, keeps the heart young not immature.
Kyle D says
We get a bunch of free parade candy. Much of it is lower quality. I don’t think teenagers should be trick or treating….so 13 and older I roll my eyes at, BUT to avoid a confrontation and our house being vandalized we give them pretty much the “crap” candy. We get adults who want candy for the 9 month old….give me a break. We live in a decent neighborhood, so people come from all over to hit us up. I don’t mind being generous to actual kids who actually dress up, but teens…..enjoy your dum dum or mini tootsie roll. I do think too many parents baby their kids. If they’re upset and you feel bad, say its part of getting older, more responsibility, some things you can do now, other things you can’t….and figure out something nice or special to do for them to welcome them into a new phase in life.
Jessica Sullivan Bricka says
I get what you’re saying here, however, my little one was 48″ and that’s all fine and well. Then over the year he sprouted up 24 inches to 72″ how can I tell a 12 year he can’t trick or treat just because he’s now 6 feet tall.
Trixie says
Well, I’d rather have 15 and 16 year old kid trick or treating at my place than throwing eggs at it or TP’ing it…
As it’s good, clean fun, I’m not about to make any judgments about anyone coming to my house to Trick or Treat! All are welcome.
And this discussion reminds me of when my kids were growing up… The things we worried about. When is she going to sleep in her own bed? When is he going to get out of diapers? The answer I loved when I heard it was, “Don’t worry so much — they won’t be wearing diapers at 21.”
Same thing with these kids. They will grow up, they will go to college, they will start working… and they will lose interest in more “childish” things.
Just out of curiosity — what is grown-up fun for Halloween? A costume party where everyone dresses up (and in some cases, gets drunk)? Is that somehow more mature? Who are the Halloween police that make up the rules of what is mature fun and what isn’t? Decide for yourself, and keep the door closed if you’d like. No one will think about it more than a few seconds and move on to the next house. But as for me, my light will be on for all.
C. H. says
My 13 year old girl is 6″ and has been for close to a year and my 11 year old boy is 5’10” and if he keeps growing at the rate he is he will be 6’2″ by the time he’s 12… so if you are judging on size alone you don’t think they should get to trick or treat? They are still in Middle School, they are still kids. In a world that makes them grow up so fast, I am so thankful that the people in my neighborhood know and embrace my kids and their height and in fact all the kids in our neighborhood. If they aren’t hurting people, smashing pumpkins, stealing candy, and just having fun, I say bring on the kids… 0 -100!! Just please try to have a bit of a costume!!
Madamefife says
Most teens reach the place of feeling too old themselves. And certainly the world is rushing them toward adulthood at an alarming rate as you see clothing, television, and more trying to turn kids from teens to down to toddlers into mini adults. But I digress.
While I fully agree that teens need to learn to start towards their adult paths and not stay in childhood forever, why can that not be taught by chores, a part-time job, pursuit of good grades?? What is wrong with allowing and supporting them in taking one night a year to enjoy innocent activities?? The world can be a rough place and life is a tough journey. Is a moment of reprieve every once in awhile such a bad thing?? I as an adult engage in “childlike” activities from time to time….some might say that cartoons are for kids and yet I love them, watch them, and will continue to until my dying day.
One night of innocent fun, relishing the joy of childhood, is not a bad thing….but maybe something that can help an individual soften the rough edges and hard exterior that the world tends to give people.
Kayla says
My newly 12 year old is 6’2″… I know, he’s super tall… He already deals with people who treat him much older than he is because he is so big. This year is his 1st going out with friends alone. Most of the neighborhood knows him so I’m sure he’ll be fine. This is the problem with being judgmental though… You truly just never know. I hope he doesn’t run into people that judge him from his size. I do agree though, the original article was one big love fest and kind of annoying in the way she told it. Besides, I like when the teens come by late (not too late) because they usually clear out any left over candy we have.
Danielle says
Kids lose interest in leggos. Kids lose interest in barbies. Kids do NOT lose interest in dressing up, collecting candy and being scared. You shouldn’t try to tell people what they should or shouldn’t do. Kids included. I’d rather a 15 year old go trick or treating than get drunk at a party or start trying drugs. They’re acting like children? What do you call adult costume parties? Childish. Please be less judgmental next time.
Adam says
I hear you BUT they were minors. It’s a night of getting candy, not crashing a pre-k library sing-a-long. Assuming the kids weren’t jerks to the younger children, not a big deal.
AnnMarie says
I should add, my oldest son lost interest on Trick or Treating at 10 and my younger son, 9. My kids were never big fans of Trick or Treating. They said they felt like they were begging for stuff they could just get at home for free. But all children are different.
David J says
Maybe 25 is too old, but… Who makes up these lame-ass rules anyway? And why?
What is it hurting for some 14 year-olds to have one last kick at the can? So you give your last few chocolate bars away — the ones you planned on keeping for yourself, right? (You’re old enough to buy your own candy, don’t be so cheap!)
I used to resent to older “kids”, too… but likely because my stick in the mud dad discouraged me from going out after grade 8.
I was jealous, to be honest. But then I realized, I can buy my own candy.
Jasmin says
Well, I’ve got one in college on scholarship and he attended a high school that boasts plenty of pretty successful young adults. I can recall a handful of those teens trick or treating during sophomore year. It didn’t make them less mature, or irresponsible, or perpetual mama’s boys. It made them realize that they were growing up, and soon wouldn’t be able to enjoy the innocence of youth. The next year they did their best to pass out candy in the most fun way possible because that last time was that moment when they did realize how fleeting life can be.
Sherri S says
I disagree. I think the idea of teenagers going out trick-or-treating is a bad idea.
What about the mother’s who dress up infants and trick or treat? Those babies are far too young to eat the candy. Is that OK or are they just being childish and need to grow up?
What about the big brothers and sisters who dress up to take their siblings out because mom has to work? Immature?
What about parents like me who still love to dress up with their kids? Halloween had always been a family holiday for me.
And it isn’t just about my family. For many years I have also dressed up some of the neighborhood kids and taken them out trick-or-treating with my kids. This year some of the boys will be 15 and I would much rather have them dress up and go trick-or-treating than get into some of the other types of trouble teenagers can get into. They are growing up so fast. Even I remember just how hard high school can be. Why shouldn’t they get one night of magic? One night to remember what it is like to be a carefree kid. Why shouldn’t everyone? Life is hard. Halloween is fun. It should be fun for everyone. Without judgment.
Sherri S says
I meant I think it is a GOOD idea. No way to edit
Mandy says
My son just turned 11 and is really tall for
his age… about 6 inches more then his typical friends… so I wouldn’t want to judge anyone that came to my door. But even if they are 17… if they are in a costume… they get candy. It’s not all that different from people who bring their infants to the door! Whose that candy for? At least I know the teens are eating it
misskitty_79 says
What about the ELEVEN year old who is 5’6″ & already sprouting breasts? She’s still in primary school, but you want me to tell her she’s too tall to ride?
Leah says
Yes children outgrow things, but at their own pace. How many teenagers you know still want to even go out. He’s 15, he wants to enjoy what’s left of his childhood. If he were 18, well that’s an adult
Michelle says
I disagree. Because you don’t know a child’s story and when they are kids who’ve maybe not had a chance at a childhood they shouldn’t be judged.
I’m speaking of the kids I’m going to adopt, the ones who spent a large chunk of their lives in fostercare, not being given traditional Halloween or Christmas or birthdays. Kids whose stories include severe abuse or neglect.
You have no idea if the 6 ft trick or treator is one of those kids. One of those kids constantly told no, one of those kids who for the first time has a parent who cares enough to make them or buy them a costume.
Please, show a little more compassion.
L. Reed says
Well said!
Madamefife says
YES!!
I too am raising children who had their childhood and innocence robbed for them. Times like trick-or-treat night help me to show them what that is all about and reclaim a small portion of what they missed out on.
Kudos to you for taking on the role you have and congratulations on the additions to your family 🙂
I will be lifting up prayers for you and your family.
Erin says
I personally was never allowed to celebrate Halloween or trick-or-treat. I’m 19 years old and have never dressed up in the fall because my parents didn’t believe it was okay. A group of friends offered to take me this year so I could trick-or-treat at least once in my life and I think I’m going to. You don’t know what goes on in people’s lives and while I agree that sometimes growing up is necessary, some of us never got to be kids in the first place. So while you’re gritting your teeth about giving candy to teenagers, I’m thinking about how you’re going to make the ones who never experienced childhood feel. I hope the doors I knock on will be more understanding.
Donna Peterson says
We live in an area that is not well lit and has no sidewalks. We only had about a dozen trick or treaters last night. I wish we had more. I love giving out candy and seeing kids costumes. I don’t care how old you are if you knock on my door you can get candy. I have even had a grown man knock and say he was collecting candy for his child who was sick. And as far as size my granddaughter has been almost six foot tall since she was 12. So you can never tell by height the age of a child.
Karen says
I agree that you can’t tell kids’ ages by their size. I’ve seen 9-year-olds who are teenage size!
Kathy says
I agree
Gretta Garble says
When I was 13, my friend’s mom organized a trick-or-treat-for-cans with the local food pantry. It was a great way for me to go out with my friends one last Halloween, and it was a nice way for the adults in our lives to help us transition from the role of costumed child to the role of teenager. After that, I celebrated either by going to a party or helping chaperone my younger sisters as they went trick-or-treating.
There are a lot of fun, childhood things that are no longer appropriate as kids grow up (sleeping in the parents’ bed, for example, or sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall). It’s our job as adults to help teach them about these things, even if it tugs our heartstrings to do it.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Gretta! I love how you and your friends participated in a service project, that is a fabulous way to participate! Thanks for sharing your story!
RoyalBird says
I completely agree with everything written in this post. In my family, they stop trick-or-treating when they are in 7th grade. They can hand out candy at the door in costume if they want, they can deck out the house and make it look haunted, they can invite friends over to watch a movie and play games, they can go to a friend’s house to do the same, they can even escort the littler siblings around the neighborhood, but I tell them they are not allowed to ask for candy for themselves. Certain childish things need to be left behind as kids grow and reach certain ages.
Michelle Myers says
Hi! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, there are a lot of options out there for teens!
Amber says
Ha ha, I get it! You are being a witch for Halloween! So what is the age that is too old? Is it 15? 14? 13? Perhaps it just the size that matters to you? Sorry 12 year old tall kids, you may not go trick-or-treating because some blogger needs to control everyone else’s kids. Believe me, my kids hear “no” a LOT. Trick-or-treating is not that important to say “no.” If the tall kids want to have fun and they aren’t being delinquents, let them go! It has nothing to do with not wanting them to grow up, it has everything to do with wanting them to have fun. There are teal pumpkins for food allergies, are we going to need purple pumpkins for “teens welcome?” LAME
Michelle Myers says
Hey Amber! I’m sorry you missed the use of metaphor, as used in the original article, to which this was a response. There has been no mention of “shunning” any teens or any person for that matter. I’m curious if you think there’s an age where trick or treating ends? Thanks for sharing your opinions.
Carolyn says
I’m with you Amber. I don’t see a metaphor here either. The title is pretty clear – please don’t trick or treat if you are too tall, too old, etc. That’s rather a judgmental position. Teenagers certainly come to my door each year… I’m not about to start carding them to check their ages. It’s not as though tons of them come, just a few. I hardly think it is parents pushing them… most teens wouldn’t pay attention to the parental viewpoint anyway. I think it’s what the peer group decides they want to do that holds the most sway for teens in this day and age.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Carolyn! The 6 foot reference was used as a metaphor for teens by the author of the original piece. Clearly, there are those well into adulthood that never reach 6′. Hopefully, you fully read both pieces. This is an opinion piece, and the number of teens that come to your door varies based upon where you live. I’m not sure what your experience is with teens or how much time you spend with them and while I agree that peers definitely hold some sway, I don’t think they hold the majority. Thanks for stopping by!
Kim says
I’m so glad my 12 year old is excited about trick or treating this year! He will grow out of it in his own time. It’s not like I sat him down when he reached 4 feet and told him about Santa. Kids reach these things on their own.
Mich says
Totally agree. I think people should worry about their own children and not try and push their views on others I personally would love it if we had more people coming to our door for Halloween. I honestly wouldn’t care about the age.
Angela Bretz says
She is a blogger Mich. That’s her job. It is not meant to sway. It meant to give another view on a topic. I will tell you that I do not agree with her, but I respect her perspective.
Lacey Dennison says
I would rather see teenagers trick or treating than getting into trouble or accidents
Vanessa says
I have to politely disagree with this. As the parent of just such a child I want him for a night to be able to go out and have fun. What if there are younger siblings? I don’t expect them to seriously sit at home while everyone else goes out. Its one night out of the year, it’s not hurting anyone. It’s your right to refuse them candy, but a lecture isn’t really necessary. It will most likely do more harm than good.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Vanessa! I’m not lecturing anyone else’s kids or suggesting anyone else do so. I apologize if you misunderstood, thanks for stopping by!
Jennifer says
I like how you respond to everyone informing them they must have misunderstood what you wrote. Maybe since there are so many misunderstandings your blog post was not very well written. Sorry but I see grown adults posting photos of their drunken Halloween parties fully dressed in costume but for some reason as a society we should think less of teenagers having good clean fun? Sad… very sad. Hmmm I’m sorry teenager you shouldn’t go trick or treating with friends but instead come up with something else to do. I know maybe find a nice teenager party to attend. I’m sure there won’t be alcohol or any other illegal activities going on there. It is dressing up and candy. Can’t get more innocent than that. AND best part is it can even be a free thing to do if you create your own costume.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Jennifer! I think it’s a huge issue for anyone to subscribe to the notion that it’s trick or treating or bad parties, drug use, illegal drinking, sex, vandalism, etc. If trick or treating is the plan for keeping kids out of trouble, what happens the other 364 nights/year? I also don’t feel people have misunderstood, but perhaps not read carefully or even just read the title and not the article…that is extremely common in the land of blogging and many commenters have made statements reflecting just that. My piece offers a different perspective. No one has to agree with that perspective but I think it’s worthwhile to read and consider various viewpoints. Thanks for stopping by!
Rebekah says
Sheesh. I wish people would 1. read the post your post was in response to, and then 2. read your ENTIRE post, not just the title, and then 3. count to ten before going on on you about things you never said in the first place!
I really admire your forbearance in responding pleasantly and politely to everyone, even when they’ve been incredibly rude in their tone toward you.
I have 2 kids, ages 8 and 12, who still love to dress up and trick or treat. This year my 12 year old daughter designed and made her own pirate costume so she could enter the town costume contest. It was great. But when my daughter is a couple of years older, I WILL have a talk with her, explain that, just like *certain childhood icons,* trick-or-treating is really something for the younger kids. We will, together, find something even MORE fun for her to do with friends, something that the “little ones” don’t get to do because they aren’t old enough, something that marks giving up trick or treating as a rite of passage, just like last year when she learned that S.C. was really mom and dad, but then got to help ‘craft’ the story and the experience for her little brother. Why would I do that? Here are just 2 of my reasons: thinking about the comfort of families expected to open their doors at night to older kids (when it used to be just opening to younger kids); thinking about economics – how much do we expect people to pay to supply not only the kids but also teens AND adults with free candy; thinking in short, about people other than herself and the candy she’d like to have. She can dress up, make a costume, go to a party, play games, hang with friends, have a ton of fun – but I don’t think it’s fair to expect the whole town to host her! That’s MY job:)
Jessica says
As the mother of three kids “too old” for trick or treating, I love that my kids still enjoy it. I have a 12, 13, and 16 year old and I love that they want to pick out costumes, male plans with friends, the whole nine. They have plenty of time to be adults when they ARE adults. I’m not planning to take away their childhood before they’re ready.
Michelle Myers says
Hi Jessica! thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
Candy for Everyone says
YES. Jessica! THIS… A thousand times.
… Reading these articles back to back as I head into October (a year later) has me hoping my friends and neighbors in town will walk a minute in the shoes of a mother who’s parenting a “preteen/teenage” boy … A boy who’s just trying to find his place somewhere between boy and man.
My take? Maturity will come in time. Just as it did with all of us… I’m not in the game of rushing that, but rather celebrating each stage of their maturity and development as it’s happening.
It’s funny, I feel like one thing this generation of 13-16 yr olds has going for them is the willingness to be more accepting of others than we seem to be these days. Perhaps when they knock on our doors this Halloween, we should take a second to learn from them. 😉
But, then again, I suppose we’re all entitled to our opinions…. as my 6′ tall, 12 year old son would say, “Do you, man…”
Jordyn says
As a woman in her mid-20’s, I have to tell you that I loved this article. My last year trick or treating was when I was 10 and in 5th grade (my sister’s last year was when she was that age as well) because when we were in middle school, our parents thought we would be too old. We also happened to be close to our final heights of 5’11” and 6′. We didn’t stop dressing up though, and always had plans. We would join many of our fellow classmates raising money throughout the month of October for UNICEF, as well as “trick or treat so kids can eat,” where we went door to door and asked if they had any nonperishable food items that could be donated to our local food pantry/homeless shelter. People always loved that we were trying to help out others, and often gave us candy anyway. Of course, this was in small town midwest, so if anyone else tries this, your responses may vary…
Michelle Myers says
Hey Jordyn! Thanks for sharing your story with us! I love how you and your friends turned Halloween into a service opportunity! Thanks for being proactive and creatively helping others, it’s an inspirational idea!
Shannon says
When I was 12 years old I had already reached 5′ 10″ tall and towered over my classmates who were mostly still under 5′ 0″. I did not look like a kid but I was one. As a result, adult expectations of me exceeded those of my peers. I looked older therefore I was expected to act older. Judging a tricker treater based on their height is not an accurate gage for the age of maturity level of the individual. I was a 12 year old girl who was told that I was too old to trick or treat.They didn’t tell my friends whom I was with that they were too old ( we were the same age). I haven’t seen a lot of options that are age appropriate for teens over the years. Teens still like to celebrate life too. My sons birthday is 10/31 I have a special perspective about celebrating on Halloween. Restricting the act of celebrating to a certain age tells our kids life is only worth celebrating for the young…
Michelle Myers says
Hey Shannon! I’m not suggesting to stop celebrating, there’s many ways to engage in Halloween festivities. As far as the height issue, it was a play off the metaphor in the original article. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story!
Cathe says
I couldn’t disagree with you more. You’ve drawn quite a few unsubstantiated conclusions. If you are a parent, I hope you have a few more years to figure a few things out before you have teenagers of your own. You clearly have little to no real understanding of this age group.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Cathe! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Tanya says
I’m all for high school kids trick or treating…heck I did it waaaaay back in the 80’s. Perhaps as parents we can gently remind them that not every house is welcoming to older trick or treaters; but saying Trick or Treat, Thank you, and Happy Halloween is always greatly appreciated…as is not tromping across people’s lawn/flower beds and strewing along candy wrappers as you leave their house. Some good manners & respect go a long way
Michelle Myers says
Hey Tanya! You’re never too old or too young to practice good manners & respect, regardless of the date on the calendar, thanks for the reminder!
Mama Cass says
As the parent of teenage daughters, I love teen trick or treaters. We get home early and get ready for the cute younger kids. But this year at about 9 PM we will break out the fire pit, hot chocolate and some special treats for the older kids who we hope will come by and hang out while out trick or treating or will come by after the Halloween dance. I am even thinking an outdoor movie. Little kids are cute – they are excited to be princesses and superhero. But teens are awesome – they are trying to figure out if they ARE princesses, superheros, ghouls or slayers. They are out in the world trying to figure it out. I hear many teens say they aren’t ready to be an adult, so for this night especially I hope they come to my house to be the awesome kids that they are.
Michelle Myers says
Hi Cass! I think it’s awesome you’re being proactive and providing a safe place for teens to hang out on Halloween! And you’re right, teenagers are amazing in many different ways! thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
Emese says
Mother of a 15 year old boy who WILL go out trick treating this year: Every year that he gets older I have to let go of one more thing that makes him a child… if he wants to go out trick treating with his goofball buddies.. I say “have fun! You only have 3 more years until you are an adult enjoy every minute of it because you can never get it back”. He is not doing this for me, so I can live in the past or hold him back from growing up, but because he wants to and he is not causing any harm so why not?!… Aside from that I would much rather he go out with his group of friends and trick or treat than go to a booze fest.
Michelle Myers says
Hi Emese! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I think there are lots of options besides a “booze fest” or trick or treating on Halloween. By your comment, I’m guessing that you feel age 18 is the cutoff.
Shelli says
My daughter is only 11 but she is 5’6″. She doesn’t look like a little kid. This will probably be our last year trick or treating though because I don’t want anyone to be mean to her because she is tall. She loves to dress up and looks forward to Halloween candy, just like any kid. So, try to be kind to your trick or treaters even if you think they are teenagers, they may just be a tall kid.
Michelle Myers says
Hi Shelli! Everyone should strive for kindness and in no way am I suggesting to treat ANYONE poorly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Elizabeth says
That is sadly true, my daughter had that happen to her, at 12 years old people refusing to give her candy because she was “too big.” Now I understand that being 5’6″ at 12 is tall, but really people refusing her when she watched the 14 year old down the street who is shorter than her get candy from the same house HURT! At 15 she is 6 feet tall, and hasn’t trick or treated since she was 12 because of what was said to her. This year, she is hosting a party this year, and has said “I am giving candy to anyone that comes to the house no matter how old or how tall they are.” I think that is the generosity of spirit we should all have. It is one night a year.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Elizabeth! I’m not proposing people refuse candy to anyone and I don’t do that either. It’s great that you’re hosting a party for your daughter and her friends! Enjoy your Halloween!
Lisa says
I think y’all need to lighten up. Why do we have to bring into it thoughts about “growing up” or age limits? I have always enjoyed seeing the teens roll through the neighborhood. I would tease them a bit more because I could. They were fun. I loved that they still wanted to enjoy that “season”. They have so many things where they are being forced to think ahead and grow up…. a few hours of “remembering when” and living it out is just fine. The kids aren’t rolling through damaging anything, they are laughing and having fun. They stop to smile and encourage the little ones they pass on the streets. Now that my kids are teens I hope that they go out. Just enjoy themselves for a little longer. I am not certain if you have any teens. I think those if us that do may look at it a bit differently. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for responsibility…. my kids work, have for some time. They volunteer and do plenty to learn what adulthood looks like…. but there is no switch that says this is the time… all fun must stop. Nope, holding onto those days for as long as we can.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Lisa! I’m not advocating pulling the plug on fun, just remarking that fun changes and may look different as we age. If this post has taught me anything, Halloween is quite different depending on where you live and I’m glad it’s a great experience where you live. I am the parent of a teen and spend a good deal of time with teens. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
SopSarah says
I have worked with at-risk youth over the years. There are some 15-year olds I could see trick-or-treating for reasons that would boggle the mind. In an alcoholic household, Hallowe’en is just another reason to drink for some. That makes it a great night for kids to get away from the house. Some 15-year-olds spend much of their time fulfilling adult roles in their homes for various reasons; trick-or-treating is one simple way of reclaiming lost childhood. Kids of any age and height will always be welcome at our home, simply because we don’t know what kind of hell they are living on a day-to-day basis, and we would rather err on the side of kindness.
Michelle Myers says
Hi! Thanks for sharing your perspective and experiences. I’m not advocating ANYONE act unkindly to others, just offering a perspective others may not have considered. Thanks for stopping by!
Dee says
This is a beautiful response to this blog post and I am so glad someone mentioned at-risk teens. Some teens already do live in a rough, adult world most of the time and Halloween is one night when it’s ok to be a kid. It shows a bit of privilege bias when you write that when you see a teen at your door, your thoughts are “I wonder if their parents are coddling them.”
Michelle Myers says
Hi Dee! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I try to be really conscious of entitlement and privilege bias in my life and in that of my family’s. I spend a good deal of time volunteering and and examining my choices and thoughts and I didn’t see this piece as exhibiting a bias but I’m going to think about that further. Thanks for stopping by!
Natalie says
Your article seems (though unclear) that you are not a parent of teenagers or directly in contact with teenagers. My baby brother is now 14, there is a 20 year age gap so my husband and I are more like a second set of parents. He was getting close to 6 ft a year or so ago. He has moments of maturity and other moments where he is still playing with action figures and the imagination of a child is in full swing. Boys especially seem to grow physically into male bodies before their minds lose that childish aspect. I think we push our children to mature and grow up. They will in there time.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Natalie! I also have a brother that was born when I was in my later teen years, am the parent of a teen, and am around groups of teens on a regular basis. I volunteer with teens and have helped develop curriculum for them, too. Kids definitely mature and grow(physically/emotionally) at different rates and as a society, we do impose expected responsibilities on them at certain ages(driving at 16, voting/legal adulthood at 18, all states have varying guidelines about when a child can legally stay home alone, etc.) In my experience, I see the opposite happening, parents assuming too much responsibility for their teens and not allowing them to mature or assume responsibility. A reader stated in an earlier comment that we, as a culture, are quick to push our kids as preschoolers and then expect less as they become teens. Definitely an interesting perspective to consider. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Vicki says
As the mom of two (now in their late 20’s) sons, I understand how you feel. I also read the other article. I remember well those awkward ages. They were on the cusp of adulthood. Looking like a man but many times, especially in the presence of peers, still feeling like a kid. 14-15 even 16 years of age, teetering between boy and man, some years they would stay home and have their own Halloween parties, dressing up (or not) and some years they would muster up the (courage, I guess?) to go trick or treating. And my daughter as well. They would ask me what I thought; if I thought they were too old. I asked them if THEY thought they were too old. When they would go, they usually went to about 4 or 5 houses and then quit.. It wasn’t that they wanted huge amounts of candy. There was never a shortage of that in my house being the sweet tooth mom I was (am.) They just enjoyed and didn’t want to quite let go of, the childhood ritual. It was fun! Of course, I worried about the reactions they would get from others whose doors they knocked on And sure enough by the following year, they were “too mature for that” (their words) So I say, let them be kids for a little while longer in this one little area. By the way, I remember my mother over the years and even in her 70’s going into a store and pressing every button on a row of singing stuffed animals. She got the biggest kick out of it! I’m sure people looked at her like she was crazy. She wasn’t; she just enjoyed feeling like a kid for a brief moment. I enjoyed watching her enjoy it so much.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Vicki! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and that’s a sweet story about your mom. 🙂
Hayley says
The problem I see with this point of view is this: teenagers are not adults. So who decides what the age limit is? Who decides when a child is “too old” to trick or treat? I trick or treated until I was 18 years old. I was fully aware that it was not something adults do and I would have to let it go after that. Until I had my own child and I get to enjoy the fun with her!
Kids will get past these childish phases on their own. We stopped believing in Santa Claus and the Easter bunny etc. Because we grew up and figured it out, not because someone forced us too.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Hayley! Everyone feels passionately about this issue and many have no problem trick or treating beyond age 18. Several are of the opinion that turning 18 doesn’t change anything in regards to this. Everyone decides what is right in their own mind. This piece was my opinion about it and I appreciate you sharing your perspective.
Pamela says
When my son was 10 he was one of the smallest ones in the class. He had a sleep over. One of the kids that showed up was 6’3″ tall and had a deep voice. My boyfriend who had met this boy before pulled me aside and informed me that this child and yes he was a child was 4 days from his 11th birthday. I’m posting this so some people realize that that 6 foot male with all those random sized boys. May just be a child who’s hit puberty a early.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Pamela! The height was a metaphor, taken from the original piece, not a literal measurement. I think we all know there are adults that never reach 6′. Thanks for stopping by!
UtterlyAbsurdBella says
This makes me worry about my son, because of the way people think and judge. All my kids are tall. My youngest is 11, but he is 6 feet tall and his voice has started changing. There’s nothing he can do about that. Mother nature blessed him with this height. I worry that people will judge him by his size, even though he is an 11 year old boy inside and absolutely should still be trick or treating. I know everyone here will agree with me about this, but it doesn’t stop people from jumping to the wrong conclusion when they see him. So please remember that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover.
I also have no problem with teens trick or treating as long as they are respectful. And in my experience in my neighborhood, that has always been the case.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story! My kids are above average height as well(great perspective on it being a blessing).
Megan says
I’ve read the article and pretty much all of the comments; can someone please explain to me how *family* making Christmas stockings/Easter baskets for their *own child* is on the same level as a teenager (especially un-costumed) going door to door and asking strangers for free candy?? I just don’t see these two activities as ‘on the same field’.
As the mom of a son (a very tall son) (and, for those mentioning special needs – I am also the niece of a wonderful aunt who has downs syndrome), I happen to quite agree with this article. I personally have no problem to giving candy to anyone who is dressed up in an actual costume and most of the kids AND teens who come to my door are.
But I think showing up to a strangers door, un-costumed and asking for candy is entitled, presumptuous and rude. And the comments saying ‘better trick or treating than vandalizing’…. really? Can I use that excuse any time I want to do something that I’m told I’m not suited for/allowed to do? Well, you better let me on this kids’ ride at the carnival or I’ll go steal toys from the carnies? Let me get into this sold out hockey game… or I’ll go out and key cars. Come on now. Don’t excuse poor behaviour as an excuse for kids not getting what they want.
Anna J. P. says
I am overwhelmed at these venomous responses. I apologize that you should have such attacks thrown at you for simply stating your opinion. I commend that you continue to read them and respond to them in a mature, respectful manner. I hope these responses have not caused you to curl up in a ball and cry. These responses have been harsh. What has happened to our society?
First off, this article was well articulated. There is no indication to height (the title is a metaphore, but I would think your readers would be able to identify that). You made it quite clear that this opinion did not pertain to kids/adults with special needs. You did not encourage anyone to not give candy or to be rude. People get way too offended in this day and age.
With that said, I read both articles, and I can see both sides. Originally, I had believed that by Middle School, Trick or Treating should be done (as in my era), but It is common today for Middle School kids to still go Trick or Treat. I have a 7th grader. She still goes Trick or Treat, and It doesn’t bother me. Teens don’t bother me, either. Although, I agree with a previous post that teens should still dress up. As long as they are polite, I have no issues. Will I let my children go as teens? That remains to be seen. I won’t encourage it, but if my teens want to go with a group of friends for fun, I will probably will let them.
I personally think these 2 articles stem from a major conflict in the way our society has managed things. On one hand, we push academics and hectic, busy, scheduled activities before our children can walk. We don’t allow our children to just be “kids.” Then on the other hand, we don’t allow our kids to make mistakes, choices, and face consequences for their actions. We have our responsibilities and priorities mixed up. We rob their childhood, yet then want to hang on to it. Why aren’t we hanging on to it when they are little and letting go to prepare them for adulthood? If this is confusing to us as parents, imagine our children? I think these articles stem from this conflict we all have as parents with the demands of today’s society.
Just because you read about a perspective you may not totally agree with, doesn’t mean you can’t understand that point of view. Sometimes I think the people who are most hostile, are the ones that find some truth in what is being said. No ONE idea is ALWAYS right. for everyone all the time. There is nothing wrong with looking at another’s perspective. That is how we continue to learn and grow.
Michelle Myers says
Anna, I appreciate your words and clearly expressed ideas. I agree with much that you stated, parenting isn’t easy and if statistics are any indicator, there are a bundle of new issues on the horizon for our society in the next decade. I enjoy reading different perspectives and opinion pieces, regardless of my views. I hope that we, as adults, are able to think and model good discussion for our children. It is amazing the things people are comfortable saying to a faceless screen that they might not say to another human being in front of them. Even so, I’m hopeful that there are more people willing to discuss various viewpoints rather than call names and make threats…thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Anita says
I love this reply. You hit life dead on and people should take note.
RoyalBird says
I love what you wrote. It is a confusing way to raise kids. We tell them when they’re little to be older and act older but then as they grow, we tell them to not to grow up so fast. Can’t have it both ways. I think you hit the nail on the head with these types of issues.
Deborah says
What if the teenagers that do show up to trick or treat have never went trick or treating before? Whether their parents did not allow them to or there was simply no one capable of accompanying them? But now as teenagers who are able to safely walk around their neighborhood, get to enjoy something that they could not before? Should they be denied the experience of ever trick or treating because they missed the age range when it was out of their control?
Michelle Myers says
That is a circumstance that hadn’t crossed my mind. Thanks for that perspective, Deborah.
Rebekah says
I enjoyed the article. I had just read the article referenced in your post, about encouraging older children to trick – or – treat, and I wanted to read a counterpoint piece. I think you make good points, and I think people who are critical are often (not always) not reading carefully. You specifically state that this is not directed at parents of children with disabilities, yet detractors keep commenting as if you were! You also were very clear about your intention to say nothing and give treats to teens, yet you are called rude and unfeeling… very odd!
I am not comfortable with groups of teens coming to trick or treat for some of the reasons you state, but also because it sets an expectation that groups of teens should be able to go our and knock on strange doors and ask for candy…I try to put myself in the shoes of maybe an elderly widow woman in a marginal neighborhood…she might feel quite comfortable opening her door and giving treats to a group of children, but opening her door to a group of teens, who may or may not be costumed, could be an invitation to be a victim. Yet what are her options? To not open for anyone, which would rob the joy from the littles and maybe from her, too? Or perhaps to use her peephole and only open the door to certain groups? Also problematic. Older teens can understand that perhaps the days of going door to door to strange houses is past, but that doesn’t mean they can’t celebrate! Halloween parties with friends, at a friend’s house, can be fun and safe. They can still enjoy dressing up, treats, crazy games, etc.
Another idea: on our street neighbors sit out on someone’s lawns dressed for cold. We have a fire and roast hot dogs and marshmallows, and when trick or treaters come by we invite them to take something from our multiple bowls and roast a dog with us. One year we had a big crock of hot cocoa, also appreciated on Halloween! We can be creative and have fun, but I don’t think anyone should be made to feel guilty for not wanting to open their doors to groups of big strangers on a dark night!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Rebekah, I agree. Celebrating changes as we grow, and not in a negative way, in my opinion. Appreciate your thoughts.
Bette says
I am a single woman and I live alone. I will not open my door to anyone larger than me on Halloween. I just don’t feel safe doing so. Usually, younger children will come accompanied by their parents before it gets too dark outside. Also, my neighbors tend to alert me beforehand whether their little ghost or cowboy will be coming my way. Everyone else is a wild card. And a pack of oversized teenagers–no matter how well-intended–make me feel unsafe.
Michelle Myers says
That’s a consideration I hadn’t thought of, Bette. Thanks for sharing.
Davanna says
Can I give an alternative point of view? I know the mother of the 15 year olds thought they were reclaiming their childhoods, but maybe they were just being 15 year olds. Teenagers are a little goofy and caught between being kids and being adults. Rather than seeing this as them reverting back or not growing up, think about it as normal behavior. It’s a holiday. They want to do something fun, talk about things, and laugh away from the prying eyes of a mom. That all sounds like pretty normal teenage behavior to me. Plus, they get to score some candy!? Maybe I am overly easygoing on the subject. I buy tons of candy, and small toys (for kids who can’t have allergies or are on a special diet) I just want to give it out and see little happy faces. I don’t really care if I have to bend down to see that happiness or look up. Halloween is a spirit of giving, just like Christmas. I have even been trying to figure out something to give out to frazzled parents, but don’t think jello shots are appropriate (or are they?). Teenagers going out and irritating some people and just being goofy and having fun has always been part of the holiday. Being a teenager is probably the hardest age of all. I am throwing a party for my teenage niece this Halloween, and while I have planned a spooky spread (everyone say a prayer that my “brain cake” doesn’t turn into a pinterest “nailed it” failure), and movies, and even bought tickets to a teen halloween party for them, if they want to go trick or treating, I will have to pray that my good neighbors understand and are kind. Because, I won’t tell them no. If they want to go out and laugh and make a fun memory, I should let them.
Michelle Myers says
I love that you’re being proactive and throwing, what sounds like, a pretty cool themed party for the teens! I’m sure it’ll all turn out fun! And, I hope your neighbors are kind as well, in no way am I practicing unkindness, denting candy, or advocating that anyone else should. Have a great 10-31!
Kristine says
I agree. I don’t think 15-year-old kids, or even older, have somehow outgrown liking sweets. It is ONCE a year…I don’t think it’s going to seriously affect their transition into adulthood. Adults go to bars and parties in costume to have fun on Halloween. I think people are being too harsh on teens trick-or-treating. I always welcome them, because my stance is they could be doing something much worse than asking for a piece of candy. There are usually an abundance of people on my street going door-to-door, so the thought of a threat never even crossed my mind. Maybe I’m being naive, but I won’t begrudge teens for having a fun night and will be happy to give them candy.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Kristine! I don’t think there is ever an age where people outgrow liking sweets. And, as stated many times, Halloween, for me, isn’t 2 options: let teens trick or treat or they’ll get into trouble. If that is the standard, and Halloween is only one night a year, what’s the plan for keeping teens out of trouble the other 364 nights? Just something to think about, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
alicia says
I didn’t read through all the comments, so not sure if this concern was shared- I am uneasy about older teens trick-or-treating bc when I was growing up the older kids would harass the younger kids and take their candy frequently. This was not a “bad” neighborhood and a lot of the kids had parents around, but a lot can go unnoticed in the dark with a lot of people walking around.
Michelle Myers says
Alicia, I haven’t witnessed that and it hadn’t occurred to me that was a potential issue. Thanks for the perspective.
Melanie Nowak says
As the mother of boys, 17 & 12, I know my sons don’t want to let Trick-or-Treating go. They plan their costumes and look forward to roaming the streets in them. They may not be in a big group, but they have each other and they have fun – innocent, heart-warming fun. We are in a very rural area, so we do not get any kids at our door – staying home to give out candy is not an option. (I buy plenty though, LOL) My kids want to go into town and walk around to see the costumes of others and show off theirs – it’s not even about the candy, really!
Both boys are top of their class in school, and my oldest will be graduating high school with his Associates Degree (through taking online college classes during study-halls) They have goals and understand that there is a time to be a child and a time to act adult. On Halloween, they are allowed to be the children they still are. After graduation those adult responsibilities will take over quickly – this is their time to be kids!
To those who answer the door thinking they are too old for this – would you rather have them spraying shaving cream in your mailbox and throwing eggs at your house, or out knocking on doors to politely say “Happy Halloween! Trick-or-Treat!” ???
Michelle Myers says
Hey Melanie, thanks for stopping by! I don’t think Halloween is a case of “Trick or Treat” or “Vandalize the neighborhood”. Those aren’t the only options available. Every family is different, every area of the world is different, and everyone handles Halloween differently. I appreciate you sharing your family’s perspective.
Megan says
AMEN! Why does it have to be candy or vandalize?!?! When kids don’t get what they want they should just cause trouble?? Wow. I have a son and I sure hope he does not end up with that world view…. scary thought…. give me what I want when I want it or I make you pay… yikes.
Michelle Myers says
I never thought of Trick or Treating as a solution to keeping teens out of trouble one night each year. That perspective was brought to my attention last year and I don’t agree with it. However, it is a popular thought among many readers. It’s an area where we just “agree to disagree”. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Megan says
Yes, sorry Michelle… I was responding to the person who commented on your article… not to you directly. You and I see eye to eye on the idea that it doesn’t have to be trick or treat or cause trouble. My apologies for the confusion!
Melanie Nowak says
That is not my view, LOL. I was being a little dramatic to make a point (the writer in me, I guess). My kids would never vandalize even if someone chased them off the porch! Just saying that Trick-Or-Treating is not the worst thing a kid could do. So what if they still enjoy it at 17? My kids are responsible and act as young adult when appropriate. Give them a break and let them have their last year or two to be a kid on Halloween while they can 🙂
Melanie Nowak says
I realize my comment may have sounded as though Trick-or-Treat or vandalizing were the only options, but obviously that is not the case and I do not feel that way at all. I was just trying to make the point that there are worse things a teen can do besides trick-or-treating. I didn’t mean it to sound like a threat, LOL.
I just think that kids should not be made to feel badly about wanting to celebrate Halloween traditionally past the age of 10 or so. Why shouldn’t they trick-or-treat at the age of 15, or 17? Who are they hurting? If they are responsible kids, doing their school work and whatever else is expected of them, why can’t they have harmless fun on Halloween? Past school age they will be busy and well past the opportunity for this, but right now, let them be kids when they can. I will say that I would rather give candy to kids who put in the effort to at least put on a costume though 🙂
Wanda says
I completely disagree with your article. I have 2 children 25 and 22 they are both working professionals. When they were little they use to love trick or treating and that has not changed for them. Unfortunately because of people that think like you do they became embarrassed and stopped. I know that if they would not get those weird stares from people with your mentally that they would still love to get dressed up on halloween and go out trick or treating. Heck even I would like to go out and do some trick or treating myself.
Halloween is just one day out of a year that you can dressed up as silly as you want and go out with family and/or friends get candy and just enjoy yourself for a few hours. (Almost everyone loves candy.) Growing up does not mean one has to grow old. I think that it’s wonderful to see a well rounded adult that has the heart of a child. So shame on you for thinking that just because a person is over a certain age that they should not be able to enjoy trick or treating on Halloween.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Wanda! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I hope that you enjoy Halloween and trick or treating, should you chose to go.
Just Stopping By says
Okay, I apologize if this sounds harsh, but I just have to say this: I would not be okay with my small child trick-or-treating next to a GROWN person going to door-to-door to get free candy. There has to be an age where we, as adults, realize that there are certain rules of decorum we should follow. A 22 and 25 year old adult knocking on a door and asking for free candy is too far. It’s one thing to have fun dressing up and have fun at Halloween; but it is another thing entirely to not be able to recognize the line between what is for kids and what is for adults. Surely you see this. If they want to dress in costume and enjoy candy: go for it. BUT find some friends and have a get-together, watch some scary movies, or do something else. Think about it from the perspective of other adults of the same age who have children.
Michelle Myers says
Hey! I do agree with you, I’m not sure I understand the adult trick or treating perspective but, I know many have let us know they still actively trick or treat(not just as escorts for their kids). So, that is definitely something I have learned through this experience, and some adults are comfortable continuing indefinitely. Thanks for stopping by!
Jennifer says
I think the judgement on a 22 or 25 year old is still too harsh. Can you tell me what a child with special needs is like at 22 or 25 in regards to social concepts? Not everyone with special needs are obvious to an onlooker. Please be aware of this and how hurtful that can be. Even if not special needs and it bother you so much then don’t participate. My kids are young and I LOVE them seeing the older kids doing the same things as them. Teaches them it’s ok to do these fun things no matter what your age is. They had the most fun seeing the adults dressed up and acting silly. The biggest laughs we had were from some of those adults. You know the kind of laugh that clears 10 years of stress of your life?
Michelle Myers says
Hi Jennifer! The woman that was commenting regarding 22 and 25 year olds wasn’t referring to special needs and I am aware that not every special need presents itself in a 30 second encounter. I also wonder if anyone, at any age, with cognitive special needs would be out unaccompanied trick or treating? When I see an adult still trick or treating, no, I cannot diagnose him/her at my door but when I see other adults with him, hanging back and waiting, I may discern there is a special need going on. Frankly, there are 100 different ways we could illustrate this and still disagree. My disclaimer regarding special needs is just that: if your loved one has a special need, this post wasn’t aimed at them or your family. Society places generalized recommendations/standards on many things(driving age, voting age, even toys) and they’re not meant to offend special needs families. If a toy or app is recommended for ages 5-8 and your brother wants to play with it, is that an offense? I’m guessing not because you know that’s general guideline.The concept of being young at heart is a lifestyle, not a once a year event so children are able to ascertain that concept based on the situations they’re in, not only from a yearly event. Yes, I do find it odd if a group of costumed adults showed up at my door. It’s okay that I have an opinion on it, it’s okay if you don’t agree with my opinion. I also realize that I never mentioned glaring or evil staring at anyone, I think you’re inferring and drawing conclusions on that one.I know you commented in several places but I’m attempting to address things here.
Marian Andeweg says
I did not decide when my kids needed to stop reading Captain Underpants, nor when they were too old to believe in Santa or should stop playing with legos. They figured all of that out on their own! , Just like they will stop knocking on doors on Halloween because they feel they’re too old for trick-or-treating. My 16 year old has been busy making his mask from paper mache for days and is he very excited to show it off with his 3 friends who are doing the same thing. He puts a lot of time and effort in it and I hope he will be met at the door by non judgmental adults. Because that would be the reason for him to stop doing it next year and I think that would be a shame.
He is a teenager, acting like an adult some times and acting like a child other times. That’s part of growing up and being a teenager. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story with us. Being a teenager is no easy task, nor is parenting one.
Rose says
I am actually glad to see teenagers trick-or-treating. To me it seems better than the alternative. The teen years are, as usual, that awkward stage when they are too old for the little kid stuff but too young to enjoy staying in with the adults. They want to be out with friends, enjoying the excitement of the night. Unfortunately that often means going to a party, half dressed, doing who knows what. I’d rather see them outdoors, bundled up, enjoying something innocent while they’re still interested.
Michelle Myers says
I don’t see Trick or Treating as the activity designed to keep teens out of trouble on Halloween and as far as what costumes are being worn, that’s an entirely different matter that I haven’t touched. I don’t think getting candy for a couple hours guarantees there won’t be a party or “who knows what” behavior later on or that there’s even a correlation. But, I’m glad that you shared your opinion and you’re right, the teen years, especially the early teen years, can be a confusing time.
Lisa C. says
I respectfully disagree. My youngest did his last trick or treating at 16. That is also the year that he got his high school diploma, his Associates of Science college degree, and later, began his Bachalors program (he is currently 19 and preparing for graduate school). 6ft tall? Yes. Immature? Not so much. Don’t believe everything you think.
Maybe because I am a fairly recent empty nester, but I find those last vestiges of childhood endearing.
Lorna says
While I agree that kids need to assume responsibility and develop independence, I don’t think letting them go trick-or-treating one time a year is going to ruin a lifetime of lessons anymore than one night of candy ruins a lifetime of good dental habits. It’s a pretty harmless way to have some fun and feel like they are getting into a lot more trouble than they are. Wearing disguises, running around in the dark with their friends, needling adults by their very presence…what teen can resist that? Then we reward them with candy to top it off. This isn’t a new thing-back in the day my friends and I dressed up and went out until we were old enough to get into a local teen/young adult club. We had plenty of other friends who, at the same time we were trick-or-treating, were getting with mature party friends and having not-so innocent chemical fun or having fun with boy and girl friends in the backs of cars. Looking back I think that the trick-or-treating was by far the safer and more desirable option. There is a difference between letting them maintain a little innocence vs. being immature and unable to face life responsibilities.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Lorna! I don’t think Trick or Treating or getting into trouble are the only 2 options on Halloween. I appreciate you sharing your opinions.
Brandy says
I just want to know why everyone thinks that there is an age limit to trick or treating? I am almost 30 and have always loved Halloween. I love taking my kids trick or treating. What do you consider”too old”? Isn’t better for teenagers to be out trick or treating than to be out causing trouble? I can understand that certain things from childhood has to end, but why all?
Michelle Myers says
Hey Brandy! There are far more options than Trick or Treat or get in trouble on Oct. 31. Everyone chooses how to celebrate Halloween and yes, there are adults that still do so. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Emily @ The Innovative Mama says
I’m curious if you actually have any teenagers in your life that you are close to. I am a stepmom to four kids… 18 year old twins, a 12 year old, and a 6 year old. Our 18 year olds are well adjusted kids with jobs and goals and plans for how to achieve their goals… But “kids” is the key word here. They’re “adults” by law but they’re still so naive about so much and they still need a LOT of guidance. I can guarantee you that if the 18 year olds wanted to come trick or treating with us, we’d happily welcome it. (We go to accompany the young girls, by the way, don’t worry, we don’t trick or treat too) Why? Because the time we get with them these days is incredibly rare and we’d welcome the opportunity for family time. Because there’s nothing wrong with young adults enjoying the youth that is becoming more and more fleeting before they really do have to grow up. (As someone else pointed out, how many adults dress up in Halloween costumes and get completely wasted drunk on Halloween? How is that not clinging to one’s youth? Do you judge those people too, or is it different because they’re not coming to your door?) Because we’d rather have them come trick or treating in the safety of our neighborhood than go to some party where kids are doing God knows what. How DARE you judge a child’s mentality OR their parent’s without knowing the full story? As someone else pointed out in the comments, you don’t know what 15 year old might have a mental disability that makes them more youthful than their age. What are these teens, sound of mind or not, hurting by taking one little dinky chocolate bar from you? What does that REALLY cost you to give it to them without the judgement? Our 12 year old is 12 going on 20 and she’s one of those trying to grow up WAY too fast. So in three, four, five years, if she still wants to come out with us and her younger sisters, by God we will let her. Thankfully I don’t think we live in your neighborhood. If the teenagers in your neighborhood were smart, they’d boycott your door.
Can’t wait for your generic “thanks for your opinion!” response!
Michelle Myers says
As a matter of fact, I have a teenager, have volunteered extensively with teens, and am around them on a frequent basis. This is an opinion piece and clearly, not everyone agrees, nor would I expect them to. The great thing about blogging and the internet is that people have the opportunity to express their thoughts and offer various perspectives. When this piece was published, there were many inappropriate(cursing, threatening, mean spirited, name calling) comments that we were unable to publish. We have published comments that were well articulated that disagreed with us because we believe in giving voice to different sides of a topic. So the “thanks for your opinion” replies are just that, thanks for reading and expressing your thoughts in an acceptable way. I don’t expect that you’ve read all the comments but it has been repeatedly stated that this piece had nothing to do w/special needs families or children. I don’t feel that arguing on the internet really yields anything positive or changes anyone’s opinions. Reading, gaining perspective, taking a moment to consider another perspective, sure, those are good things! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Dawnn says
I have 2 personal friends whose kids (4 total) were over 6 feet tall by the time they were 11. Is 11 too old? I have other friends whose kids were still under 5 feet tall at 16. Personally, I don’t want my single mother opening the door to ANYONE on Halloween. I don’t think it’s safe for her to be advertising to anyone that she lives alone. However, I think if you’re going to open your door to Trick-or-Treaters, treat everyone fairly. If the person was brave enough to don a costume and come to your door and you were generous enough to make that an option–then just continue to be generous regardless of who shows up at your door. If you want to put restrictions on the recipient, then just don’t do it.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Dawnn, the 6 ft. guideline is a play off the original article’s title, not a literal measurement. A few people have brought up the concern over single women answering the door, something I hadn’t thought about. I think taller(which gives a perception of age to most) seems more threatening to those living alone. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!
Anita says
My husband goes out with my sons and I stay home alone giving out treats. People who don’t know us wouldn’t have any idea that I don’t live here alone. What’s the difference between my situation and a person who lives alone? I don’t have an issue with teenagers trick or treating as long as they are respectful and don’t come to my door after my lights are off. Who am I to judge why they are out trick or treating? My nephew was 6′ by the time he was 10 and many of my friends kids are quite tall so height is irrelevant to me in regards to age and younger kids are out later these days often because they are hitting multiple neighbourhoods. I think it’s wonderful in today’s attitude that parents allow their children to GO trick or treating. I’m actually shocked the kids aren’t all dressed up like bubbles.
Michelle Myers says
Hi Anita! The literal height isn’t the issue, it was used as a metaphor. The example of a single person, living alone, was a concern several others brought up, everyone’s comfort level with that is different. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Crystal says
I, myself have no issues with children, teens and even adults trick or treating. If a teen is taking their little siblings trick or treating. Heck yeah, I’m going to give them candy. I don’t care what age they are. I also get candy for at home. My oldest doesn’t trick or treat anymore, he stopped on his own, but my middle child will be turning 15 this weekend. He has Autism. Physically, he’s going to be 15, Mentally, He’s 10. I don’t care, the neighbors don’t care. We have seen all the neighborhood children grow up before our eyes and so we are close to them. Also, if a new parent is taking their baby trick or treating knowing that the baby isn’t going to eat the candy but the parents is, I’m still ok with it, because it’s the baby’s first trick or treating. If a child has an extra basket for their sick sibling stuck at home, I still fill that one because the sibling shouldn’t be left out. Because I understand because when my kids were little, one of my kids did get sick so yes, I do understand. I also still give all of my kids Easter baskets, I don’t care if my oldest is 17. I also make my mother an Easter basket. And she even makes me one. Valentines day, we get for the kids, and I’ll even get for my parents. It has nothing to do with age, it has to do with celebrating the holidays. To me, if your that judgement or picky about trick or treaters, leave your porch light off and just host a Halloween party for those who you want to invite. It will save you the judgement and the stress and if you actually did read the article closely by what the lady was describing in the other article, you can tell that the boy has Autism or some other disorder. But if there is a program, or some sort hosting and has an age limit, then I do respect that.
Michelle Myers says
Hey Crystal! I’d like to reiterate that this post is not directed at ANY special needs individuals or families. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts in a respectful way.
Teresa sullivan says
I’ll admit, up front, that I did not read all 244 comments, but I didn’t see anyone mention my point. I live in a rural area, on a dead end road with no street lights and my husband travels for work. A few years ago I had 3-4 big, young men show up on my front porch. They scared the dickens out of me. I did not open the door. My thoughts were “why are these big guys out trick or treating?”‘ “They are too old.” And “who knows what they’re really up to tonight?” It was scary! So there’s that.
Michelle Myers says
I actually hadn’t considered your point, Teresa, thanks for sharing.
Tina says
It’s very easy to pass judgement on this topic but how about when you get a 10 yr old that people are telling their to old to trick or treat to because how big they are. People pass judgement on how old a child appears wich is wrong. My daughter was 10 when people were telling her this. She is big for her age and her body matured quickly. Everyone thought she was a teenager and tried to treat her like one when she wasn’t.the point to this comment is you can’t judge a child by how old they look or tall they are. They are just going to be hurting because of the quick judgement. The saying goes never judge a book by its cover
Michelle Myers says
Hey Tina! I’m not advocating for anyone to tell anyone else they’re too old. I was sharing my thoughts and I still give candy to each person at my door. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Lorna says
You are right that it can really depend on where you live as to whether this would be appropriate. I wouldn’t want my kids out there doing this in an isolated rural area for fear of them getting shot by (justifiably) nervous homeowners. I wouldn’t be tempted to open my door after dark to a bunch of big guys on the doorstep either.
Michelle Myers says
Halloween seems to vary greatly based upon where you live. Thanks for stopping by!
bound by flame says
A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do think that
you need to publish more about this subject, it might not be a
taboo subject but generally people don’t speak
about these topics. To the next! Best wishes!!
Jess Black says
I can see both sides of the situation. My big pro for older kids trick-or-treating is that I would rather see them out doing something innocent and fun rather than toilet papering someone’s house or causing other trouble or mischief or doing something dangerous such as drinking.
Val says
I can’t find a spot to generate my own comment. So please don’t take this reply personal to your comment. (I’m mobile)
What I find funny is that it’s made to be an assumption as this is something new. I trick or treated as a teenager. As did many of the adults in our community. It was fun to dress up ourselves and know what we were doing and not have our mothers doing it all for us.
It’s not a new thing. A thing that’s ruining this generation, it’s something that teenagers do.
Are there bad apples? Yes. Just like there are adults. But don’t lump all teenager into it.
Adults still dress up and do adult trick or treating. If you don’t want to give them candy, or buy more then don’t. But don’t make it a bigger issue than it is.
I’m 29, 5 ft tall mom of 2 and I still dress up and trick or treat and get compliments and a couple pieces of candy along the way ♡♡♡
Too much judgement and assumptions.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Val.
Shelly says
Every year I get between 180-200 trick or treaters 🙂 THAT’S A LOT OF CASH TO BUY CANDY 🙂 When Older Teens & Adults start horning in on the childhood fun , that means there is LESS candy for the children from 1-12. So What I do for the teens: I give them a pencil, what I do for the adults I give them a lump of candy COAL, (Christmas candy is out by them, & I hope they get the hint)!
Ashley says
15 year olds should not trick or treat… or I don’t want to see them at my home anyway.
As a parent you could open your home to your young teen and their friends. You could even have a bowl of candy out!
Many arguments are dealing with holidays where strangers aren’t going from house to house.
I think that some 15 year olds would be up to no good walking about the neighborhood. Trying to think like a teenager… I see trick or treating as something I might do to be away from adult supervision.
Lulu says
I don’t really care who comes to the door, teens or adults. If someone is polite and comes in costume, they will get a treat. I accept everyone likes to celebrate differently, not everyone enjoys parties or sitting at home watching movies and handing out candy.
I actually prefer adults and teens over little kids anyway because I have had too many kids who are rude, shoving other kids, grabbing something they wanted out of another kids hands, throwing fits if I had something they didn’t like. Young kids these days are selfish and demanding.
Abbie says
AMEN to all of this. Why do we have to nit pick other people’s children’s behavior? I think intentionally raising our own is enough to stress on right there.
Marisa says
The flaws I see in this logic are (1) you have referred to trick-or-treating as a “behavior” rather than an activity, and (2) you have insinuated that15-year-olds who trick-or-treat have parents who are hindering their maturity. In response to the first, trick-or-treating is no more a behavior than is playing a board game. And, to the second, I’d wager that most trick-or-treating 15-year-olds’ parents are actually those who recognize that 15-year-olds are, in fact, still children. At that age, their bodies may look adult, but their brains are still very much child. As trick-or-treating is generally seen as a child’s activity, I fail to see how allowing a teenager to participate is a hindrance to their maturity. Now, if a college student is still knocking on doors with a costume on, well, that’s a different story. They’ve reached a point in their lives where society fully expects them to be and act as adults. But, teenagers? I think most people know they’re still just kids.
Racquel says
Well put…and sentiments exactly.
Jessica says
Exactly, teenagers are such a gray area, both in the ways adults handle them and in the ways they handle themselves. They are moving out of childhood (and probably still want to hold onto that) and moving into adulthood. They really aren’t one way or another. They are still learning how to be adults, with brains that may not be capable of making only adult decisions. Allowing teenagers to do something society considers childish isn’t holding them back, it is allowing them to explore the boundaries between childhood and adulthood. It is allowing them to see what does work and what doesn’t. Experience is the best teacher, not some opinionated neighbor who has no real reason to be angry at a teenager for asking for a piece of candy (is it really that big of a deal to you? Why??) People like the author have forgotten what it is like to BE a teenager. Hanging out with a million teenagers will never equate to actually being a teenager.
Michelle Myers says
Jessica, I’m not angry and it’s not about giving candy. Thanks for taking the time to read my perspective.
Donna says
Yes!! My daughter does it HERSELF. She plans her costume well in advance. I am not putting her in princess dresses and sending her unwillingly out. That is utterly ridiculous.
Dee says
Let’s play a Halloween game. Every time someone comments that the point of the article was about the HEIGHT of the Trick-or-Treater being the measure for when you should stop, take a shot. Oh, wait. That would induce alcohol poisoning. How many times must it be explained that the 6-foot height was in reference to the original opinion piece that came up with that height and isn’t a literal marker or the point of this piece? They don’t think a height is important either. Really, people? Whether or not you disagree about the age that it should stop…or why it should stop..or if it should stop, they have explained a gazillion times that IT IS NOT ABOUT HEIGHT!
Mr. Goose says
That is probably a wise decision.
FWIW, I am astonished by some of the unpleasant replies you have received to a well-written and perfectly reasonable article. Granted, I do not agree with everything Michelle Myers said in the original article. Personally, I would like to see much stricter controls over “trick or treating”, especially here in the UK, where it really has become a nightmare for many innocent home-owners.
But nothing was said in the original article that justified the venom and bile you have received from certain readers. Anyway, this is my last post in this thread, as I feel I have little of value to add – other than to wish you all a safe and happy holiday.
Mr. Goose says
“i hope your house gets eggs this year, and if i was once of them boys moms you turned away id do it myself and tp your house.”
Are you seriously saying that you would damage someone’s home because they did not give sweets to your teenage children?
Now, there’s a fine example of good parenting. Thank God you live several thousand km away from me.
Kira Lewis says
We appreciate you coming to our defense and the comments you’ve made. We knew that there would be some very different points of view on this and now I think it’s time we all move on. We’ve got some great holiday gift giving posts coming up as well as giveaways and lots of fun stuff. I did remove the comment you are referencing in this reply from the other reader, as there was a negative reference about another segment of our population that I thought was uncalled for. If they want to be upset with us for our comments, that is fine. However, it is not okay to insult other people who have nothing to do with the post. Again, thanks for your comments.
Leah says
When my child is 15, he probably won’t want to go out. That being said, he is at the moment 10 and is 5′ 3″. My guess is that he may hit 6 ft before he is “too old” to go out. I hope that if he is that tall before 15 that people will still hand him candy. I also think about my sweet cousin, who has the mentality of an 8 year old. She loves trick or treating. She doesn’t understand that she is “too big.” What happened to handing out candy to the “bigger” kids later in the evening, closer to 8 or 9?
Michelle Myers says
As stated in the post, I wouldn’t deny anyone candy and everyone can agree on the fact that the height reference is not an absolute benchmark but alluding to the original post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Courtney says
Wow, this post certainly sparked an emotional response. As a mom to two small children, I’m really not sure at what age I will discourage my children from trick or treating. But I certainly appreciate hearing both sides of an argument so I can be better informed when making that decision. I think Michelle is spot on about one thing, we need to be active and intentional in our parenting decisions. If you choose to let your almost grown children go trick or treating, great! If you encourage other activities, fantastic. That’s your parenting choice. I believe the latter represents a more active and intentional parenting style. Because as teenagers, more freedoms and responsibilities are allotted to them and they are more likely to go trick or treating alone. Younger children don’t tend to trick or treat by themselves. And I thought the post was far from judgmental or snarky. Thanks for another great read.
Beth says
I’m 36 Halloween is a fun family night for us and I still go door to door with my 11 & 14 year old kids. We have a great time. Cousins and friends come every year more and more. Growing up in todays world is hard. Seeing our neighbors even that once a year is such a pleasure. Our elderly neighbors love seeing the kids grow up. Just a different view for you to think about. All areas are different, I probably would not open the door to a grown looking person alone either. I’m not trying to keep my sons little but, I am teaching them family time is important as well as tradition. They help with their little cousins and have a wonderful time passing down all their memories. Also to each their own. For us its about being one with our community the candy does not hurt either lol.
Gail says
I am with you. Halloween is one of the few times we see the neighborhood children and parents. My only bad experience was actually with some 5th grade boys who didn’t have a parent with them. We leave our bowl on our steps and leave a note to take 2 so we can escort our kids. These boys emptied our bowl at 6pm while we were still eating our dinner. I was furious. So we looked like the Scrooge. Never again will I leave the bowl out.
Wendy says
There is a time and place for all things. Childhood doesn’t end on a specific day. It phases out in stages. Before we were buying Legos and Barbies we were buying our kiddos weeble wobbles or some little people play set. They don’t move from reading Captain Underpants to reading 1984 or the Great Gatsby. There is a progression. Inconsistent? I don’t think so, but even so…life is inconsistent. I wouldn’t encourage my 15 year old to trick or treat, but I probably wouldn’t stop them either. With the logic presented in this article, you should no longer buy your child Christmas gifts once they are teens because it is inconsistent. Time to grow up. Santa and presents are for children. They could still help decorate the house and sing carols… Maybe even have a party. But no need to indulge in trying to hang on to their childhood with Christmas gifts…
Additionally- why I would never follow this blog? Because your responses to your commenters are often snarky, degrading, and rude. It’s one thing to disagree, but your method of responding frequently lacks class.
(Read through a share, not as a follower)…
Kira Lewis says
Overall, I think we’ve been quite kind in our responses with thank yous and we appreciate your comments,etc, especially considering how unkind and attacking others have chosen to be towards us. We’ve also chosen to publish almost every comment we’ve gotten as long as there was not foul language or other truly hateful sentiments. We don’t have to do that, but we chose to because people obviously felt passionate on both sides about the topic and we felt they had the right to have their say in return. We’ve had nothing but glowing things to say about the original post, which I will state again was well written and touching. Overall, Michelle had a different reaction to it that the norm as did some others, and so we simply explored another perspective. We in NO way in this post say that you shouldn’t buy Christmas gifts for teens or that you should take away all fun. In FACT we argue for teaching our maturing children how to take their childhood spirit with them into adulthood, we say to have teens dress up, hand out candy, have a Halloween party. If you look on our FB page you will see Michelle and her family dress up every year in theme for an annual Halloween party they attend, so it isn’t even about not dressing up or enjoying Halloween or other holidays well into adulthood. The point is that parents say we want kids to be kids and we’re totally good with it on Halloween, but then we turn around criticize young adults the rest of the year for their lack of maturity. We need to give them consistent messaging and we do need to give them guidance as they grow about how to deal with some of the losses that come with becoming an adult, while at the same time celebrating the new found freedoms and fun that accompany adulthood. So, again, we appreciate your comments. We’ve read them and considered them thoughtfully. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy says
Of course it wasn’t stated that you shouldn’t buy teens Christmas presents. I used that comparison to show another childhood tradition continued into teen years… Another mixed message… But perhaps you all stop Santa and the traditions that are associated with him at a certain age.
Trick or treating is not a contradiction to growing up and being responsible anymore than getting a stocking Christmas morning. It’s “growing up” not “grown up”.
The post was intended to be antagonistic. Though I’m sure it was a ploy to bait more readers, the title evoked emotions in people and then they are ridiculed for that. Perhaps an original post of your own ideas would have been more productive as oppose to an attack against the OP of the 6ft trick or treater… I understand your blogger had a different reaction to trick or treating and I’m sure she would have gotten far less traffic had she not piggy backed onto the trending OP.
The bloggers should probably either not respond or respond with class when dealing with rude or disagreeing comments. As a blogger, I’m sure you realize disagreeing and rude comments will happen… Even on the best of blogs. It’s some what humorous to call out immature teen trick or treaters and then immaturely respond to some commenters (your overall point taken). It is responsible and ethical of you to post both positive and negative comments. I commend you for that.
Kira Lewis says
Wendy, I think you and I are just going to have to agree to disagree on a number of items here. I do think we have responded as kindly as possible, especially considering the tone and language many have used in the comments towards us. While some people have had passionately negative reactions, many people have agreed and seen our point of view. So, again, I don’t think this was a “ploy” we just chose to address the less popular side of the issue and we’ve tried to manage the consequences as responsibly as possible. I appreciate your final words and I hope you have a Happy Halloween!
Jessica says
I understand that the point of this opinion piece is that there are incongruities in the lives of teens….grow up, but don’t grow up. And in my neighborhood, there are teens who are not challenged in any way whose trick-or-treating makes it awkward and due to their clumsiness, unsafe for little ones. But here is something we are forgetting: who were the original “trick-or-treaters”? WHY is this the tradition? This blogger is probably someone who says, at Christmas time, “don’t forget the reason for the season!”. So my response to this article is….just because it isn’t Christian (which, BTW, does NOT imply satanism), don’t forget the reason for this season of remembering our lost loved ones and carrying on traditions of taking care of them in their afterlives.
Michelle Myers says
This was not at all intended to be a discussion on religion and anytime we begin to make assumptions about what others say, do, or feel about religion, I don’t think we’re in good territory. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
Michele says
I understand your point on this but we also continue to buy our teens Christmas gifts after they realize there is no Santa so why should we do that and not let them occasionally induldge in free candy? It’s just a fun activity to do with friends, just like geo caching or going to a concert. It is a free social activity and I for one would rather them be doing that than stealing my car or smoking weed. Sorry you don’t see the need to indulge kids a little.
Michelle Myers says
I’m not buying that trick or treating prevents drug use or car theft. As kids grow and mature, the WAY we celebrate holidays changes. Of course we buy teens presents at Christmas, we don’t forsake the holiday, just the WAY we celebrate it.
Courtney says
I read your post (because I saw it linked on Pinterest), and I have to say….in your own words, I TOTALLY disagree with the post. In fact, I was offended by the way you pointed figures at the children and their parents. You’re penalizing people based on their height straight from the title, but what you’re really judging are the ages of when someone should or should not give up their childhood. If I were to comment strictly based off your title, I’d have to ask you — what about 12 year old’s who are darn near 6 ft tall and have no control over how much they grow? But, if I were to judge your post in its entirety, what about the young women and men —the teens to early 20s who have developmental issues; some of who are mentally younger than their age? What about autistic teens? Some are short AND some are over 6ft tall. How do you tell those kids that someone doesn’t think they should be trick or treating?
You can’t tell what their struggles are just by looking at them, especially if they’re in costume, but you think you have them all figured out because kids are kids, teens are teens, adults are adults and, if they’re over a certain age/height, then they should stick to your ideal guidelines — right?
My brother is developmentally delayed, he’s in his early 20s…and he trick or treats, and it makes him happy…and that makes me happy. He also had a mustache when he was younger than 12 and was asked why he was trick or treating, but hey, at least he was still under 6 ft tall.
Granted, there are immature teens who just go door to door and then repeat door to door just to get free candy, but for every one of those, there are some young adults who have issues that are not obvious and some that are, and those young people do not deserve your judgement on what you think they should or should not be doing. In fact, they’re innocent and are blessed to not be so judgmental, and because of that, they’ll always be young at heart.
You shouldn’t point your finger at anyone, but I only point my finger at people who stereotype.
You say “If a 6 foot tall trick or treater arrives at my door this Halloween, I’m not going to give him a lecture or refuse to give him candy. I’m just going to wonder as he leaves my door if he really is just a kid being a kid OR is he a kid whose parents just don’t want him to grow up?”
Well, maybe he ‘can’t’ grow up.
Kira Lewis says
We appreciate your comments. It is unfortunate that some have chosen to interpret this as a line in the sand that says when childhood should end and that somehow that means there should be an end to all fun. That is not our point at all and we encourage parents instead to find a way to help maturing children learn to take childhood with them into adulthood and to find fun in new ways. We understand that many are not happy with the other point of view we presented, but there have also been enough people in agreement that maybe it was good to see many points of views on the topic. Perhaps people will be willing to see both sides differently going forward. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
kat says
I couldn’t agree more as a mother to two autistic children. For us, trick or treating is an overall developmental/social/speech lesson. They gain social skills by being able to talk to people other than their classmates or parents each day. They gain developmental skills such as safety skills for crossing the street, respect for other people’s homes when we do not permit them to touch their decorations or walk through the grass. They also learn not to eat candy which is just handed to them until it is checked because they are told that they cannot have any until they return home unless it comes from mommy and daddy’s safety bag which contains candy we have bought for them prior to the event. And the speech lesson comes from the fact that they have to talk to people to say what they are doing and to use respect by thanking their temporary host when they receive the treat.
I’m not sure when my kids will stop trick or treating as they are emotionally still toddlers at the ages of 6 and 9. Both are extremely tall for their ages, my 6 year old if almost 4 feet tall and his brother is almost 5 feet tall. I have often said that it is like have twins which just happen to be 3 years apart and it is essentially true. My 6 year old still needs to be wrapped in his blanket like a baby before he will fall asleep and has severe separation anxiety, other than that, he’s more like a child of 2 or 3 years old emotionally. His brother has actually matured a bit more over the last year and is a bit closer to what you would expect from a first year preschooler (3 year old). We do not allow them to go by themselves and they are not permitted to go too far ahead of us. Usually I am one house ahead of their dad and we move only when they do.
Earth says
I wonder if this author has grown children or parents that she still makes a stocking for or makes an Easter basket for. If so, you may want to stop doing that. Those things are child things, not adult things. Santa and the Easter bunny, do not exist except for in the mind of a child. Why is it okay for you to do “childish” things, but not for older children or young adults to do them? If you do not ever make a stocking or an Easter basket for people older than 18, then my apologies, but I don’t know anyone that does not do that for adult people. I made my grandfather an Easter basket and a stocking right up until he died at 99.
Keep in mind, you can say to let the older children have a Halloween party and not go tick or treating. If you allow your older kids to do this, are you going to chaperone them like they are a child, or are you going to leave for the evening and let them have your house to have their party in like they are an adult? If you are going to chaperone them, then you are admitting they are still children. Just as you don’t want the kids to have it both ways, you can’t either.
Michelle Myers says
I feel, as a parent, it is my responsibility to chaperone a party of any kind at my home. It sure is a lot easier to turn a bunch of teens loose on the street to trick or treat and settle down to watch a movie than actively parent. It is quite amazing that every adult you know makes Easter baskets and stockings for all their relatives, how very blessed you are to know so many extraordinary people!
Gwen says
I have a 15 year old who is going out with her friends because she loves Halloween. They are dressing up and just hanging out. She could go to her school for a horror movie night but she likes the energy and excitement of the night. She wants to be part of that but passing out candy isn’t an option. No one comes around where we live. They may stop at a couple of houses. My son is 13. He and a group of his friends have planned out a group costume theme. They have planned it over a month ago. Neither of my teens would be rude or disrespectful. They will watch out for the little ones. They just want to be part of the night. The ones I don’t like are the teens who think throwing on a mask is dressing up. If you take the time to think up and put on a custume I am all for every one having fun. As for teens acting as kids, all four of my kids ( ages 4, 7, 13, 15 ) still get a Christmas stocking every year on Christmas morning. They all still get pjs and a stuffed toy every Christmas Eve. They all still get easter baskets. They only differance is what is in them. Same goes for their halloween costumes. As a little kids they are princesses and ninja turtles etc. As teens they get to experiment. Be a dead girl, a batman character not suited for a little one. You go more scary then cute. Not every teen has the option to have a party or hand out candy. They want to be part of the energy, the fun, the excitement.
Michelle Myers says
Glad that you’ve thought out what works best for your family and your teens. I never stated that holidays shouldn’t be celebrated, the way in which they’re celebrated changes as we grow and having younger kids obviously affects how your teens celebrate. There is nothing wrong with stockings or Easter baskets, I’m not saying people should be denied gifts. All I did was point out that the way in which we celebrate evolves as we mature. Hope you have a great Halloween!
Dawn says
I read your article and the other article. I found your response to be unkind and cruel. I have that child – the one who was 5’10” in the fifth grade and he was still 11. How do you know how old that kid is? How do you know how mature that kid is? It’s a fun sized candy bar not a college scholarship. You give it in a move of kindess and being neighborly not based on merit. Honestly, since you have a very narrow window of who you find acceptable I might suggest that you turn off your lights, close the door and decline to participate.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Dawn, it’s great to be able to have different opinions and be allowed to make choices based upon them. Enjoy your Halloween!
Ivy says
thank you for bringing up this issue. I don’t have a problem with size and age, as much as with showing up without a costume and demanding candy. Since we moved into the new neighborhood, dozens of cars drive over from less attractive neighborhoods to get candy. The teenagers in particular piss me off, because they’re old enough to drive, too cool to dress up, yet have their pillowcases out for candy. Judging by their girth, candy is the last thing they should be having. I don’t want to sound like a Scrooge, which I’m definitely not, but it bothers me that some people, mostly teengers, are perverting the spirit of this event and turning it into an opportunity to mooch off others (not even their neighbors).
We don’t give out candy on principle – corn syrup, artificial dyes, artificial flavors, and artificial colors are poison in my book. If I don’t feed them to my children, I won’t feed them to other children either. Instead, we hand out stickers, glow sticks, plastic spiders or similar Halloween trinkets. Some kids are happy to receive a little toy, some have literally thrown them in our front lawn in anger. The nerve!
Michelle Myers says
I’m sorry that you’ve had bad experiences with teens. I know that all teens do not behave that way but it must be frustrating to have dealt with that. Good for you on abiding to your principles about candy and modeling that to your kids, actions scream where words whisper. Hope your Halloween is better this year!
Thanushka says
Halloween isn’t just for kids. There are many tweens who are almost 6 foot tall and no way I think it’s OK for an adult to be mean or rude about them trick O’treating. Be kind. Set aside the judgements and enjoy and let them enjoy.
Michelle Myers says
The post specifically stated that no lectures would be given or candy denied…I’m not really sure where you’re getting the mean & rude from?
Rebmat Evol says
But you ARE being judgmental and rude about it, it’s easily picked up throughout the entire article. You’re also stereotyping people who are tall… You don’t have to confront any of the tall kids that come to your house because SOMEONE who’s read your article will end up confronting some poor kid.
Kira Lewis says
Hi –
This is Kira, I’ve jumped in a bit for Michelle on some of these since we’ve had such passionate responses on all sides. If we are being judgmental it has nothing to do with size, it has to do with inconsistency in parenting. Both my husband and I are tall and we were tall as kids. Plus, both Michelle and I have children that are unusually tall for their ages. So, I guarantee we have faced the issues many are discussing in regard to having children that are tall and look older than their years. The title played off another post that we actually thought was well written and had some touching points and we thought people would better understand the connection and that we were choosing to just examine another side to the original. I don’t believe our article is going to encourage someone to confront a tall child for being tall or to confront children at all. We’re not advocating for that in any way. Overall, we’re saying that in society today and as parents, we give kids (especially teens) mixed messages about “kids being kids” while at the same time young adults are constantly criticized for not acting their age and being unable to handle the appropriate responsibilities for their age. We talk about letting our kids be kids, but then we let them watch TV shows with older themes, dress like they are older, give them iPhones in elementary school and let them on social media without supervision. So, while our intent may not have been made as clear as we would have hoped (or people aren’t fully reading the article), then that is too bad, but we are NOT in any way being judgmental about tall people. I have a whole family of tall people so that would be silly. Thank you for sharing your thoughts though.
Ginny says
After reading the article AND making it to about this post I see a few consistent themes~I will admit I was completely taken aback at the tone of the article. I DID feel like it bordered more on the critical side with inconsistent messages. More because it was putting specific ages to when things should or shouldn’t happen. That really seems to be a theme that jumps out at me, and where I noticed peoples responses are the most passionate. The “you can’t put an age limit on when or when not to do something in the tween years.” Amazingly enough, I think that was Michelle’s whole point!
It just didn’t come across that way.
The neighborhood in which I live is one where we get ALL varieties of trick-or-treaters. The early ones are the young ones. By about 7 the cars drive from house to house, clogging the street, with the entire family (aunts, grandmas, and babies not even old to eat candy) coming to the door most of the time with only the baby is in costume and the grandmas sit in the car. They don’t say trick-or-treat, and rarely a thank you. By the time the teenagers/older kids roll around I’m happy to see them. It’s not too late for them to be out and they have at least attempted a costume, most of them don’t try to hit the houses more then once and as far as I’m concerned they aren’t out being hooligans; Another successful night in my book.
It actually is sending them a “grow-up” message. Go out tonight, do NOT vandalize, be polite, be home within the time frame we have agreed upon and be responsible for yourself; While understanding that there are also children out who are the primary focus. This could be a good learning situation, with good rewards for older teens.
If you have tweens, like I do, have a halloween party and invite friends. Have a movie playing such as Beetle Juice and let them hand out candy. Do traditional games like bobbing for apples; Or let them go trick-or-treating with some younger friends as a chaperone. Its NOT bad parenting. There is no specific number on it.
The real message here is to be an active P-A-R-E-N-T. Don’t expect others to do it for you. And conversely you don’t have to take so seriously what advice others may offer. It is simply what works for them.
As for the sending mixed messages part about being grown-up in some areas of life but a kid in others~that’s part of being a teen and tween. It’s OK. They are STILL children. I think that’s the very idea that had me upset through ALL of this and the second theme that I saw. So what if they want to still be a kid sometimes!?! THEY ARE!! As long as our expectations are that they behave respectfully towards others isn’t it ok that they once and awhile revisit something that made them happy. Maybe for trick-or-treating they only go to friends houses? It won’t happen for very many years. They will be distracted by something or someone else and gone before we know it!
Kira Lewis says
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and being so kind and considerate. We really appreciate it.
Chantelle says
I agree with both articles..in that I think (for me personally) up to a certain age for trick or treating is appropriate. I think it’s all in fun and when you can go as a family even better. I would never deny someone candy but I do feel funny if an adult asks for some candy…umm my response is, go buy your own…lol. But I still give it to them. I think the biggest issue is when it is your child, you need to set your own family’s limits. Mine are still young enough that I don’t need to worry for another 6 or so years, but I think 13 is old enough to maybe help out or do something else that night instead of trick or treating. I think you can have fun on that night in many different ways and as a child gets older we do need to help them move along into adult hood. Like I said though, denying candy isn’t the answer, but parenting your own child and setting limits when they are older is.
Melissa says
What a horrible post… the author is such a scrooge choosing to judge which children are acceptable to receive candy at her house on Halloween! I was raised in a very religious home and not allowed to trick or treat, I have very fond memories from going out at 19. I was refused at a few homes and told quite rudely to grow up, the problem being i was denied my childhood and trying to reclaim part of it after graduating high school and moving out of my abusive home and even lived and out of my car rather than contimue on in my parents home. I smiled and said Happy Halloween to all those who decided to judge and continued on mking happy memories I still cherish over a decade later.
Victoria Kellogg says
I wasn’t allowed to go trick or treating as a child as well! I love trick or treating with my kids. Even if I didn’t have any kids, you bet at 25 years old, I would be right there with the other trick or treaters.
Jodi says
I believe once kids are 15, 16 they need to stop trick or treating. Let them have Halloween parties, hang out with friends as the article suggested. Last year I took my then 9 yr old trick or treating, their were more teenagers and ADULTS (without children) out than younger children. They were (both adults and teens) shoving little kids out of line, knocking kids over, being generally rude and obnoxious. There’s a time when people need to grow up, to mature and let go of childhood rituals, make NEW more grown up rituals for themselves. Seriously.
I loved this post and I agree with it.
Mr. Goose says
Encouraging children to go round to strangers’ homes, demanding goods with menaces is fundamentally wrong at so many levels. For example, what happens if one of their victims turns out to be a paedophile. Or what happens if I put about a Snickers bar and it turns out that one of the little darlings has a nut allergy. I could be sued! The demonic imagery is at best disturbing. Many religions find it deeply offensive and many atheists consider it pointless and stupid. And demanding goods with menaces is actually illegal and has been for hundreds of years.
Here in the UK, trick or treating really is a bloody nightmare. Under tens are usually accompanied by gooey-eyed parents. These are generally self-obsessed idiots that seriously believe that their little darlings can do no wrong. Worse, they expect the rest of the planet to find their disgusting brats are as cute as they do. They think that anyone that does not want to interact with their repulsive spawn must be miserable old gits.
Over about the age of about 10, UK trick-or-treaters are generally unaccompanied and seldom just want sweets. Instead they want booze, fags (cigarettes) or cash. If you don’t give them enough money, then you will get a tirade of foul-mouthed abuse and they will probably egg your car or post dog shit through your letterbox anyway. Many elderly people are terrified. For people like me who work from home, it is a blasted nuisance. It is also a pain for those with young children trying to get them asleep. In any event it is a basic human right not to be disturbed or terrorised in one’s own home.
Many local authorities and police forces are now providing downloadable politely-worded “no trick or treaters” notices, The advice is not to pretend you are out, because the nasty little bastards will probably vandalise your car or your home anyway. It also encourages burglars. And it is not unheard-of for older trick-or-treaters to attempt to break in to homes that they think are empty.
Instead, ensure the front of your home is well lit, display appropriate notices, ensuring they are clearly visible, and set up cheap CCTV to record any incidents of vandalism or antisocial behaviour. And if you have displayed “no trick or treat notices” and they still persist in harassing you, or if you just feel scared and intimidated by these people, then contact the police immediately.
Ginny says
REALLY?!?
Mr. Goose says
Yes, really:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2055578/Ban-trick-treating-How-Augusts-riots-terrified-neighbours-children.html
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/609921-to-think-that-trick-or-treating-is-wrong-full-stop/AllOnOnePage
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=police+trick+or+treat+sign&source=lnms&tbm=isch
Briana says
booze, fags (cigarettes) or cash??? That’s not what trick-or-treating is in the US. You can’t demand what YOU want, it’s what other people give! Some have even handed out FRUIT before…too easy to be tampered with IMO though. If you don’t want what you get, just throw it out. Not on the sidewalk or porch of the giver though. That’s just impolite. (One kid did with animal crackers we provided one year…I was like, really?)
Elisabet says
Honestly this post bothers me. Why does it matter if teenagers or adults want to go ask for candy an dress up? The last time I went out on Halloween was 2 years ago, when I was 18. I went with my 19, 21 and 22 year old girl friends. My little brother (9 at the time) tagged along because he didn’t really have friends he could go with, not that my parents would let him go with his little buddies.
I didn’t have to bring him with us but I used the opportunity to dress up my puppy and took both of them with us. We were out from 7 or 8pm until about 10pm. Some people actually refused to give my friends and myself candy.
My friends were older so they could have gone out to drink, smoke, party or whatever they did often. We were all dressed decently and actually wore the costumes we had worn for college that morning.
It doesn’t matter how old you are. You can choose to believe in anything you want; whether it’s Santa, Jesus, Tooth Fairy, Free Candy or the fact that someday we can all live in a peaceful world without violence. You’re only giving away candy, not money nor expensive items.
I haven’t gone in the past 2 years because my boyfriend (4 years older) and now my husband, never wanted to go.
I understand that some people are scared of teenagers because they might actually do something to their properties but not all of us are like that. I went trick or treating for fun in fact I kept 5% of the items I received and would give the rest away to kids. So why deny us a little bit of fun?
kat says
I have read both the positive and negative comments. While I see both sides of the line, I often wonder if people truly take a serious look around them. I have two children with slightly milder forms of autism. My 9 year-old is almost 5 feet tall now, yet he is emotionally and socially just about a toddler’s level. His social skills are still in the process of being worked on and we need to use several community activities to do this. While it is not ideal to take him trick or treating because we want him to understand stranger danger, it is an opportunity for him to start learning how to look at someone when he talks to them or to work on accepting different scents, sights, textures, or a combination of all of the above. It is these skills that we work on during that night. For my youngest, it is an opportunity for him to learn some separation skills since he is still socially around a year old and suffers some severe separation anxiety. Allowing him to walk up a couple of steps with me at the bottom or a few steps to talk to someone puts a slight break between me and him and starts showing him that I’m still going to be there, even if he doesn’t have my hand held against his shoulder or cheek all the time.
The compromise for this night for us has been simple. We use the activities of trunk or treats which are hosted by our local churches to place them in a safe environment and still allows them to work on some of these skills. The reason I am saying this is because neither of my children appear to have any issues to someone who has seen them for only a few minutes since they are both verbal and have some basic adaption skills for safety.
While I do understand the fear many people have about seeing a teen trick or treating, the question then becomes can you truly determine if it is because the parents want them to hang on to their childhood, refuse to force them to grow up, or because it may be a form of therapy which can be done safely and without making them appear too different? I know I couldn’t unless there was something a bit more obvious about it, like braces on their legs or a service dog with them. There are too many unseen disabilities which may affect a child without it ever being able to be seen unless you truly know that family.
Kira Lewis says
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response. I want you to know that Michelle and I talked about this issue before the post was published. We without a doubt know that there are exceptions and at the end of the day it’s not an issue with a “right” answer. Plus, she’s VERY clear that she would never turn someone away or say anything negative to them at all. Unfortunately the title has many people under the misperception that this is all about someone’s size or appearance. Overall, another post was written and our title was based of of it. The other post that was well written and had a sweet sentiment to it that definitely resonated with people. However, we saw there was another side to it. Michelle chose to address the other side and we knew not everyone would agree, but the point was meant to be at a higher level. There is an inconsistency in our parenting today because we say we want to let our kids be kids and its great on a night like Halloween, but then we turn around and criticize our young people for not being able to act like adults. We need to help our kids with this transition and some may or may not agree that learning to let go of things like trick or treating is part of that process. It doesn’t mean that life can’t be fun anymore or that we hate Halloween or that we don’t understand that this is a grey area, it was just another view. Again, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and opinions in a kind and respectful way. We really appreciate it!
Erin says
I think there is a distinct difference to most people who are opposed to teenagers going trick or treating between the trick or treater who is going house to house with his or her family and a group of 5 or ten teenagers running down the street and through yards pushing little ones out of the way in the process. I don’t think anyone has an issue with a the former, and I think even those who believe trick or treating is acceptable for children of all ages would take issue with the latter.
jeanille says
I think Halloween is a night that should be fun for all. No matter what you decide to do just enjoy yourself. I really don’t think it should be such a big issue. If an adult came to my door dressed up with their children, I will give them candy as well. I think this argument over age is just plain silly
Brenda says
I do believe that some childhood things must come to an end. Like you said I will not lecture or turn them away but after the age of 13 I do not let my kids trick or treat. I have a small party for them at our house and the kids have a lot of fun.
What I dislike is when the adults think they can trick or treat and yes we do get a lot and many are not even with children. I lecture and turn them away.
Stephanie Pass says
I’m all for dressing up on Halloween no matter what age you are. As a family, we dress up for more than just Halloween, like Harry Potter get togethers. However, I hate trick or treating. I don’t mind handing out the candy, and I’ll hand it out to teens, too. But I just feel totally weird, even with my preschooler, walking up to houses and begging for candy. I prefer to attend parties and Halloween festivals.
Melanie says
I have been working since 16, taking responsibility and generally being an upstanding citizen for decades. I trick-or-treated when I was 24. For fun. And why not? My wholesome little group of friends and I were doing that instead of being out at a bar in a slutty nurse costume. I’d rather see teenagers trick-or-treating than clubbing.
Kira Lewis says
Hey there –
Again, I’m jumping in here and there for Michelle. I think it is amazing that you are hard working and responsible. Also, at the end of the day Michelle isn’t saying don’t do it or that she would even turn anyone away or be rude. Overall, her point was there is a larger issue when we talk about letting kids be kids and that we aren’t being consistent. Sometimes we’re totally okay with it and then we turn around and talk about how young adults today can’t take care of themselves and how they act like children when they are supposed to be grown up. Also, since we’re having a great discussion here, I’m not totally getting your connection. Why would teenagers be out clubbing if not trick or treating? I’m having a hard time with this as it’s come up in several comments. Sort of this argument that letting them trick or treat is going to keep them out of trouble or from doing worse things. However, if they are doing these things, is letting them trick or treat on one night a year keeping that from happening on the other 364 nights a year?? Also, if the whole argument against the points brought up in the post is that allowing this is just letting our kids to be kids, then I think we also need to be parents who would not be letting our teenagers go out clubbing and dressing in slutty costumes as an alternative to trick or treating. I don’t think it’s an either/or kind of thing, right? And if it is, then it’s a bit hypocritical, no?
Amber says
My husband was 6 foot tall before his 13th birthday. He is a tall man 6’5” and our son will follow suit I am sure (he is already off the height charts at 16months). Yes there should be an understanding that parents give their kids alternate plans for Halloween after a certain age, my limit for my kids will be 16 at which point I plan on having a party for them and asking the parents to buy a bag of candy and then mix the whole batch and have each kid take some home (evenly divided) so even if they didn’t get to go trick or treating they do not miss out on the great candy trades I remember in High School. I also think 16 is a great age to stop because they need to start taking on more responsibility such as budgeting, balancing work/school vs. play , and all the others. This is not to say my kids won’t have responsibilities before this but that they will be taking a more active roll once they have the ability to transport themselves from point a to b. I have friends that could still pass for tweens if they were in costume so it should never be in that they look too old. Kids outgrow all the majors (Santa, toothfairy, etc) at different rates and times I believed in Santa a whole lot longer than I believed in all the others because Santa was not just a person but the spirit of giving. My son (16 months) will not be trick or treating this year and probably not next year(maybe a house or 2 next year depending). I just don’t want him being exposed to that much candy and sweets at such a young age and to top that off he wouldn’t be saying trick of treat which is a requirement in my book. Kids should be kids but it’s the parents job to help them progress to adults. Before you have a house to decorate or parties to go to the primary Halloween event is trick or treating so some of the “older” kids may just not have the opportunity to have taken the next step and that trick of treating is the option they view as still available to them.
Jackie says
I agree that there is an age limit for trick or treating, but you should not judge by size. My son is almost 6 feet tall and is 11 years old. He gets screwed every year because of his size and people making judgements on him with out knowing him, like you would do if you lived in my neighborhood. Just be careful who and how you judge kids……..
Michelle Myers says
Height is NOT an indicator of age or maturity, and the reference comes from the original article. I appreciate you stopping by to share your thoughts!
Erin says
Did you not read the entire article? The author specifically says at the end of the piece that she would never lecture or deny candy to a child of any age that came trick or treating. So how would he be getting screwed, exactly?
Lin says
Probably the most ridiculous opinion piece I’ve read in a very long time. When did Halloween become a time for us to pass judgement on the people showing up at our door? You’re handing out candy, sister…not scholarship money.
Shannon says
Cosigning this post! Perfectly said. This Michelle person sounds like a real Halloween Scrooge. Give the 6ft tall or taller teen some dang candy. Sheesh!
Erin says
You hit on the reason why your assessment of this article is invalid: It’s an OPINION piece. Guess what? We don’t all have the the same opinions about things and we don’t always agree – what a boring world it would be if we did! You are free to disagree with her points, but to say it’s ridiculous is to offer an opinion on an opinion which is, in itself, ridiculous.
Megan Hanson says
I have a couple questions at what age do you determine is acceptable to still trick or treat? I have a couple friends who children were taller than 5 foot 5inches before they hit 11. One friend has a son who is only just 14 and is over 6foot 2. So I would be curious to know how you determine who is a teenager and who is just a tall child? How do you determine in a 3 word exchange of “trick or treat” that a child that you don’t know is worthy of your standards for receiving candy or a lecture? Now for my little lecture. The spirit of trick or treating is fun, if you don’t want to join in no one says you HAVE to buy candy. If you can’t treat all equal than do everyone a favor and leave your light off, this post comes off like the Halloween version of a grinch.
Erin says
Did you miss the part where she specifically said that she wouldn’t lecture or deny candy to anyone who came to her door trick or treating, or did it go completely over you head because you were already determined to be personally offended?
Jennifer says
No she wouldn’t deny candy or lecture just pass judgment.
Michelle Myers says
DEFINITION- Judgement:the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions. We all make judgements every single day, the great thing is, we’re all allowed to and each of us does it everyday. Am I sharing my judgement with the people at the door? I’m not and that is clearly what the article stated.
Bren says
Ok…so someone (me) 🙂 actually addresses “The issue is with the mentality and inconsistency in parenting practices” theme of your article, and you refuse to post my responses? Alright then, go ahead and keep on defending the height restriction replies you seem so exacerbated with. I suppose it was just about blog traffic and not the actual conversation you were trying to have.
Kira Lewis says
Hi.
As you can see and imagine we’ve been getting a large number of responses to this post. We are moderating as quickly as we can. While we knew not everyone would see eye to eye with this, we did not expect quite the reactions on both sides of the fence that we’ve gotten. So, bear with us. Thanks!
alm says
It is just about traffic because my post from almost twelve hours ago never made it on here. It points out that this post simply piggy backs off a popular post and contradicts it purely for the sake of being contradictory. And like any good trolling it’s elicited all sorts of traffic. Bet this doesn’t make it either.
Kira Lewis says
We appreciate your opinion and while I can understand that you feel that way, it was not our intent. Michelle truly felt there was another side to that popular post and it was being raised in some of the comments. It was not the pervasive view, but it was there. Overall, Michelle was passionate about the fact that while that post was getting a lot of attention and positive comments, there was a larger issue in that we say we want kids to be kids, but then we also contradict ourselves with some of our actions. Why on Halloween is it okay, but not the rest of the year and why if we’re taking that stance on Halloween are we not taking it when we consider what we let our kids watch or wear or the technology we give them access to. We’ve been nothing but complimentary about the other post and we simply chose to take another side. That does not make us trolls and it shouldn’t open us up to the attacks we’ve gotten. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion until it differs from the popular sentiment. That’s interesting,no?
Kelly Matush says
I have read with interest most of the posts I have been struggling a bit with the same issue at home . My 14 year old ( well over 6 ft ) has no interest going trick or treating ,he will instead add to his mandatory school volunteer hours by walking some kids around the neighbourhood . My 12 year old son has asked to go out with some friends in the neighbourhood , my initial response was to tell him that he was getting too old. And I did use his height and over all linebacker size as a factor . His face was crestfallen ,it would be the first year that one of his much smaller ( same age ) friends would be able to go out unaccompanied ( right of passage in his world ) . As a parent of 2 big boys. I have alwsys had to advocate the size vs age issue ( barber, kids eat free, movie , theme park ) many time having to chow proof of age to receive discount . It is far more important to my son that he be a 12 year old and go out ( maybe the only year ) unaccompanied with his friends ,than it is to me. Worrying about my child being judged even if it is not out loud ,for being out trick or treating . Next year I will encourage him to have friends over.,or watch a scary movie ,and will most likely start worrying about my soon to be 11 year old daughters choice of appropriate costume !
Anissa says
Let your kids be kids. We have so llittle time on this earth to be children. There will always be scrooges,, but the majority of people are like me, and will welcome your child to my doorstep, and compliment his choice of costume. We have always been like this. I have grown children, as well as a 11, 12, and 13 year old, and I think the people that claim to know what they’re talking about don’t have a clue. I’m sure you’re like me, and just want to protect your child from these “snarly” people. I’m just telling you that if you remind your child that people want to give candy to polite children, the majority of people won’t mistreat your kids.To heck with the rest of them!
Dani says
Hi, I agree with your post.
I live in New Zealand, where it’s not as big as in America, most traditions are done a little half assed here lol. We have the opposite seasons in Nz which just don’t work with celebrating Halloween etc, currently it’s spring and daylight savings so it wont get dark till 8pm or so. I don’t know any little kids up that late.
I actually had teenage trick or treaters come by my place a few yrs ago and was terrified, I felt I had to give them something or they’d wreck my house or letterbox etc, the same half assed costume, plastic bag to collect their lollies in…. But that’s Another story..
Too many parents parent out of guilt, insecurity, control, whatever. If people are defending their teenage kids to trick or treat I think they are only making themselves feel better by not saying no to their kid and making their short term happiness a priority instead of thinking big picture.
Michelle Myers says
I’m sorry you had a negative experience. Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts!
Jocelyn says
It saddens me how adults look at teenagers. It really does. In all actuallatuty all we want to do is please you. I agree with your statment about how one moment we are hand tons of responsibility and the next we are encouraged to stay young and still have to ask to use the restroom or raise our hand to speak. As a teenager in today’s world adults have tottally and completley confused us. They excpect us to be grown ups as you’re saying and not take part in the holidays with innocence but than condem us for wearing revealing costumes and having parties. I agree with some of your statment, but you can’t blame the teens or just their parents. It takes a village to raise a child and the U.S. Isn’t being a very good village.
Michelle Myers says
Jocelyn, I appreciate your thoughtful comments. The world can be quite a confusing place, thanks for articulating that and taking the time to offer an opinion.
Erica says
If you are in costume. You are more than welcome to trick or treat at my house. Halloween is about fun not age limits and rules for us personally. Welcome all from 1 to 99 and give or take a few. 🙂
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for you opinions!
raquel says
So I read the article and I read it twice. I’m still not sure why exactly it bothers you for teens to trick or treat. You made it seem like they revert back to this young child state of mind just because they dress up and go trick or treating for an hour or 2? Halloween is a holiday that’s celebrated by ALL ages. What about grown adults who dress up? Plus you never know why a teen is trick or treating. What if they have a younger brother or sister at home sick or with a broken limb? What if they are older than they appear. My point to everybody is not to judge. It’s just a piece of candy.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
pumpkinaueen says
I’m sorry you never had a amazing Halloween. So by your standards a 5th grader who’s 6 ft tall isn’t “allowed” to TrT? or a mentally challenged TALL person either? Hmm I guess only dwarfs & midgets are allowed? So much negative, try writing a positive, helpful, article. Here’s a hug you seem to be lacking.
ever meet a grumpy person? Ask them what their favorite costume was as a kid… watch their face light up. (I love hearing the stories) go to a retail store if your lucky enough to still have Halloween decorations there… look at the smiles it brings! (You don’t get those smiles with other holidays… stress free, memory fun) bah humbug to anyone who wants to crush the Halloween spirit. I make my house the AWESOME one that years later I hope someone says in their life remember that house? How fun? I want to spread & share happy smiles & memories. .. after all no matter what age OR height OR whatever. .. we may not be here tomorrow. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! !!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Ellen says
I agree about teenagers and trick or treating – including my own three boys when they were 14 or 15. (I think one of my sons went trick or treating at 15 because I wasn’t willing to stage WW III over it.) By and large, it is a cynical grab for candy and nothing more. Maybe that’s not true with your teens. Where I live they race from neighborhood to neighborhood, and I sometimes see them with pillowcases almost full. Often there’s a teenage driver as well. I’ve even had teens knock on my door at 10 or later.
My other concern as a widow living alone is the intimidation factor when a big gaggle of boys with deep (and loud) voices show up at my door, sometimes with faces obscured. Where I live, the younger children come early, so after a certain point, I turn off my light and retreat.
I am totally in favor of encouraging teens or keeping them out of trouble. Plenty of people did that for my boys, and I will always be grateful. I just don’t think trick or treating is the way to do it.
Julie Bedard says
I enjoyed reading your post. I tend to agree with you. I think for every holiday there are different stages for different ages. I did not read everyone’s comments but some were arguing the chronological vs. developmental age debate, and yes of course that plays a factor in everything that children do. But, in regards to Halloween, I see a teenager having the responsibility of possibly handing out candy or bringing their younger sibling (or cousins, etc.) out trick or treating or having/going to an age appropriate Halloween party. These are all ways that teenagers can still participate in the holiday, still have fun and still get candy out of it! AND, I also do not agree with parents brining their baby (who can not even eat candy yet) and coming up to the door with a bag for them. This is obviously a ploy to get candy for themselves. For that, I say, go buy your own darn candy! But, this is only MY opinion!! Happy Halloween!!
Sarahi says
I find this subject incredibly petty. There are children being abused, neglected, murdered in hot cars, and starving on the streets. There are so many huge issues that we could be bringing awareness to in our country and the world. Why are we wasting time and energy debating over older kids dressing up for candy?
Michelle Myers says
I’m excited to hear what you’re doing about all of those issues because they are, indeed, quite important! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your opinion!
beth says
loved your response 🙂
Dee says
HA!! *snap* Great response!
Cindy says
hi,
In my neighborhood entire family’s tick or treat . The little ones, the teenagers & adults. It’s fun had by all. This night isn’t just for the little batman or princess , it’s for everyone. It’s about community, sharing and kindness towards your neighbors. It’s not about holding on to your youth … It’s a celebration had by all.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story & thoughts!
Breezy says
can I just put it out there that I went trick or treating till my senior year. And there were actually a lot of kids that went trick or treating all through high school. It was our way of getting that last little bit of childhood before we went into the real world and had to grow up. And the neighborhoods we went to were absolutely fine with it. They would get worried if they didn’t see us out. And yes we would wait until all the kids got their candy first. I guess it just all depends on where you live and how well the communities know the people that live in them, if it’s acceptable to go trick or treating no matter how old you are.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story & opinions!
Jen says
I disagree with the whole article. The point is they are still KIDS. It seems most kids act older than they are. What does it hurt to let 15-17 yr olds partake in a fun event? I didn’t stop trick or treating until I was 18. Our small community welcomed all children ages and made it fun. Isn’t that what being a child is about? It has become a sad, sad world when you want to ban children from trick or treating!
Maybe they should take Red Ribbon week out of high schools as well. They can’t trick or treat, why let them enjoy pajama day, crazy dress up day, or spirit day?? That is acting immature as well.
Michelle Myers says
I’m pretty sure Red Ribbon Week is about drug prevention, which I’m failing to see the connection with trick or treating? And, I never said a thing about banning anyone from anything, I’m hoping you actually read the post. Thanks for your thoughts!
Jen says
You don’t see the connection?? Wow…And yes I read the post…Not something I will be sharing. Thanks!
Nikki says
I read both articles in their entirely. Both have valid points. It’s up to the person. I feel holidays are for fun, no matter the age. I even keep a side bowl of larger candy bars I find on sale during the month for the older kids. I think this post had some bitterness to it, took it too far. To each their own…..
Michelle Myers says
There was no bitterness intended, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Karen says
Seriously? Any kid who goes trick or treating on Halloween is just a product of a parent who won’t let go of their childhood? Come on! Maybe it’s just something fun to do. It’s sure beats going out and doing what a good portion of 15 year olds are doing on Halloween night as an alternative to trick or treating. Maybe they’re just young adults who just want to go do something different. A sober activity. It’s no different than any adult giving in to the child within them and enjoying something they did when they were kids. Like an adult Halloween party. Adults get dressed up and have treats. Let them trick or treat and be glad that they aren’t out drinking/doing drugs/or having sex. . I went trick or treating with a friend when I was 19 and I had a blast. It was fun and I was sober while the rest of my friends were out drinking. I had more fun trick or treating than I would have going out partying. I was also an adult who worked full time and supported myself. I wasn’t clinging to my childhood and going trick or treating didn’t confuse my responsibilities. I just wanted to do something fun. I think you are putting very little faith in young adults and their ability to be able to go do a harmless activity without thinking their parents are giving them the green light to act like a child all the time. While not fully mature, I think they are able to figure that one out. Or maybe the parents should say “No you can’t go trick or treating because you will think we are sending the wrong message” .. Or “No you can’t go trick or treating for any reason” because that doesn’t sound totally ridiculous! I think there are other things to send a message or write a blog about that could be more beneficial than telling teenage kids and their parents that there is something wrong with them if they dress up and go get some candy on Halloween. I think more people should embrace the simple pleasures in life. Maybe it would be a better place. And avoid your neighborhood on Halloween.
Michelle Myers says
I’m not really sure how trick or treating is going to deter kids from having sex or illegally drinking, those are discussions parents who are actually parenting have with their children. I’m glad you’ve had fun experiences and wish you all the best in your parenting philosophy!
Jaclyn Culver Photography says
I know this post will receive a reply saying “thanks for sharing your thoughts” and I’m not even sure you will actually read my response. Very rarely do I comment in a blog or article but I felt very compelled to “share my thoughts.”
I understand the point you are making, however I find your point very short sighted and egocentric. Halloween is not a holiday for kids. It’s a holiday of imagination. As people get older their imagination tends to change when they reach the age if maturity and curiosity. In a perfect world we will usher our teens into maturing into perfect young adults who’d prefer to dress up and hand out candy with mom. But in a real world most teens are testing the boundaries of their sexuality, popularity and power. In a perfect world our 15 year olds will stay home and decorate the house with their family on Halloween. In a real world a 15 year wants to be with their friends dressing as a sexy “insert name of anything” or a zombie, killer, cross dresser. I’d much rather my teen spontaneously decide to truck or trick in half dress costumes than to spontaneously decide to attend a party with other high schoolers and have Jell-O shots, spiked punch, cherry bombs, and randomly hook up with 15-18 yr old sexy kitten in the back seat of a car.
When it comes to something like a 15 year old trick or treating, there are much more important subjects that will guide and develop a child’s maturity…why pick this battle? Why concentrate your efforts on being judgmental and critical of other parents decisions to allow their teen to do something that isn’t causing anyone harm or danger? If I see any 6 foot trick or treaters at my house I won’t wonder anything about them or their parents because it’s really none of my business and they aren’t causing anyone any harm.
Michelle Myers says
If you have concerns about your child at parties with alcohol or engaging in sexual activity, I fail to see how those fears will be waylaid by trick or treating but perhaps costumes cause a transformation I am unaware of and promote better behavior. The world is not perfect and there are plenty of 15 year olds that stay home and help pass out candy just as there are plenty that want to be sexy whatevers(and it is also interesting that parents buy the sexy costumes while bemoaning their existence. I’m not saying that is what you have done bc I don’t know you or your stance on sexy costumes, although I’m assuming you don’t like them because they may cause your child to have sex in a car.) I offered an opinion, if our opinions don’t match, I guess we’re both pretty judgmental of one another in your book. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Brandy says
Unfortunately, I have to disagree. In our family our children’s ages are spread out. I have a 15 year old, a 9 year old, a 4 year old and a 3 year old. This is also true of his cousins. The ages are pretty spread out over 13 kids and he is the oldest. When we go trick or treating we go as a family. As far as our 15 year old is concerned, we let him decide if he wants to get dressed up and go up to the door or not. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I see absolutely nothing wrong if he wants to. We’re there as a family having a good time together and if he’s in the mood to dress up and be a part of the fun I don’t see why he should be left out. The rest of the year he takes on quite a bit of responsibility around our home. Between academics and household chores and pretty soon he is hoping to go out and find a job. He helps cook meals, does his share of cleaning and even assists me in teaching his brother’s history lessons. (We homeschool and he loves history) I don’t see allowing our teenager to trick or treat as standing in the way of him maturing. It’s a way of allowing him to take a day and just have fun with his brother and sisters. One day is not going to ruin him on his path to becoming a well rounded, responsible adult. In fact, much of the time when he does trick or treat, he ends up sharing his candy with others. As far as a Halloween party is concerned, he’s not really into that sort of thing, so that would not be a good alternative. Perhaps if you want to focus on what really hinders maturity, like handing our kids every thing they ever wanted until the day they move out of the house, or never require them to take responsibility for their choices, etc. perhaps we could find some area of agreement. However, I honestly think you are splitting hairs here.
Michelle Myers says
I appreciate you sharing your story and your closing points are big issues that I have previously written about. Launching independent young adults is a passion of mine and raising responsible kids is my goal. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Dee says
Wow! I can’t believe some of the comments here. I, too, think there comes an AGE (not height) when trick-or-treating needs to end. Having lived in a neighborhood where hoards of teens would come to the door to get candy (most not even in costume) I certainly disagree that is necessarily innocent or keeps them out of trouble. More than one group actually cursed at me because I only gave each one piece (I was running out). I think if they are old enough to be out walking the streets without parental supervision, then they are too old to trick-or-treat. How about use that instead of a measuring stick? If your child is whatever age and you are with them, go for it. This doesn’t mean they can’t dress up and give out candy to little ones. They are probably learning a more valuable lesson by that than they would roaming the street unsupervised.
Annie says
You should probably take the height out of your original post, since people seem to be fixated on that. I admit I was until I read the actual article. I don’t wholly agree with you though. Kids age different mentally than they do physically, as well. To me, 15 years old is still a child. Sure, they should be growing up but seriously…it’s only one night of the year. You have no idea how these kids act the rest of the year. They could be the most mature, studious, and courteous kids around.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and Annie, thanks even more for actually reading the post!
Zel says
We do not celebrate Halloween here in Australia the same way as USA. It’s actually not really a thing here. I am stunned that it’s aceptable this day & age that people let their children knock on strangers doors for treats. What happened to stranger danger & don’t take candy from people you don’t know!? If you want to do it at home then fine. Ooh yeah I know many 6ft+ children that are no were near the age of 15 yet! So guessing age with hight isn’t a good rule my granny is almost 80 & she isn’t even 5ft
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for stopping by!
raquel says
It’s actually quite fun! Here in my city it’s more like a block party. Neighbors will set up tables and chairs in their driveway and pass out candy from there. You know if a house is not participating bc they keep their porch lights off and won’t open the door so people know to keep walking if you see a dark house.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story!
D says
Having worked with children of all ages, I can honestly say that the older children love candy, coloring, glueing… As much as the younger kids. They look different, but they really aren’t.
I trick or treated in high school. I also passed out candy. Just depended on the year. We usually went out later than the younger kids, intentionally. We got leftovers and were very happy with them. The only time we were out with the younger kids was to take them trick or treating. My neighbors were awesome! They gave us big brothers and sisters candy too!
I think misers and Scrooges should just turn off their porch lights and sit in the basement. Lol
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
marissaschillemore@hotmail.com says
Then what age would be good to stop at? This is a terrible article. I am 6′.. I stopped growing at the age of 13. My child hood was hard especially at halloween. it’s not your place to say children need to grow up when you want them to and stop participating in events like trick or treating at Halloween or any other holiday.
marissaschillemore@hotmail.com says
Maybe you should write an article about the adults under 6′ who still dress up and pretend to be children trick or treating to get candy.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for your opinion, perhaps you’d like to tackle that one! 😉
Terrie Chapman says
I think the “6-foot trick or treaters” was not meant to be taken quite so literally. I believe both writers are referring more to age than height. And I can see both points. It’s kind of a bummer when you realize (as a kid) that you might be too old to go trick or treating and you’re battling with wanting to go and wondering if you should. And I can also see the point of helping kids realize endings and new beginnings. My oldest daughter is at the age where she’s asking if Santa is real and I’m stuck in the position of wanting her to believe for another year, yet knowing most of her friends probably don’t believe anymore. I don’t want to be the one to burst her bubble, but I know it will be burst soon. It’s one of those moments I wish I could have a pinch hitter of parenting. It’s a tough call and however you all decide to handle it, the best of luck to you.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and reading the actual post!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Dee says
I find irony in the fact that ever since our children were very young we tell them not to take candy from strangers but it’s ok on Halloween. Nope my kids do not partake in trick or treating nor do we hand out candy. We have a backyard celebration of Samhain. You know the real Pagan holiday.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for stopping by!
Stephanie says
I do agree that at a certain age, children should no longer trick or treat. But I do not agree with the “height”. Not only are there special needs kids that ARE still children at 15, but also, some kids grow fast. My 3 year old is 4 feet tall. I hope he is not 6ft before he hits 15, but if his father is any indication, it could happen. Everyone has their opinion but I’d hope that when a 6ft tall person comes to your door, instead of just assuming the parents didn’t want them to grow up or that they still want to be kids. Maybe just take a second to realize, every situation is different. yea some teens do it for the “free candy” but some kids are STILL kids.
Michelle Myers says
The height reference is a nod to the ORIGINAL post, not intended to be a literal physical measuring stick. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
Sarah says
I understand your concern. I did read through the whole article and as I notice the point you are making I also think that having a child that wants to throw responsibilities to the wind for an hour or two while going trick or treating isn’t sending mixed messages or proving that you are a parent that doesn’t want your child to grow up. Yes, help set everything up. Yes, hand out candy for a half an hour before you go out. Sure, you want to go have some boyish fun with your friends that is respectable and safe? Why not!? I am sending my son to one of the best schools in the area, I sacrificed a lot for him to go to this school because I believe in him and how smart he is. I want a school that can challenge him. But as for kids that are struggling behind, I worry. Great school but they seem to be expecting so much out of 5 year old’s that I just can’t comprehend. Great for my son, but struggling for others. This will be their life for the next 12 years in school. So when my 15 year old boy comes to me and says he wants to lay back and enjoy himself without having to worry about all the responsibilities of being an adult, I say go for it. As much as some parent’s may not want their kids to grow up, which truth is, who does? There’s so much of the world pushing them to grow up too quickly. So my advice, raise your kids with morals. Teach them how to give to other people who can’t give in return. Teach them humility, responsibility, respect. Let them be careless once in a great while, as long as the morals are in tact. It might even teach us something! Trick or treating for a 15 year old boy is much better than a boy who thinks he’s grown up enough and is out getting some girl pregnant. Let our kids be kids for the short time they have.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for reading the post and expressing your thoughts, I appreciate it!
Brandy says
Can we all just live and freaking let live already? STOP the judgment and mom-shaming, please! Have a nice day.
Michelle Myers says
I’m confused as to why having a different opinion is judging….
Meredith says
I agree. This isn’t about height or weight or even a set age, it’s about maturity. There is a difference between being child-like, and childish. There is nothing wrong with adults and older teens being child-like…in fact, that is the whole reason we enjoy every holiday! I feel child-like joy when I hand out candy, decorate the house, dress up the kids as their favorite characters…that child-like joy, excitement, and wonder is a beautiful thing! Being childish however is another story. Children are supposed to be childish, not teens and adults. It’s not flattering at ALL. The age when being childish becomes inappropriate differs from child to child, depending on their mental maturity, but generally speaking, it is not flattering or appropriate for older teens to continue acting childish. No one is taking the child- like wonder out of holidays, or saying that they can’t experience the joy of Halloween, but there comes a time when we are no longer children and we shouldn’t be offended when some one says ‘grow up!’. I won’t refuse teens who come to my door, however i’ll still roll my eyes.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Meredith, for reading the post and sharing your thoughts with us!
Shari Goss (@knitwitshair) says
I get what you are saying, and I am all about growing up, and making your kids realize that things are different when you are older. I make my kids make their lunches (with some help), do chores, and handle their business. BUT my then 7yo was told last year it was his last year for trick or treating b/c he was getting too old by a couple of neighbours. He is shy and after we left he was in tears and asked me if 8 was too old to trick or treat. He felt badly that he couldn’t go after this year. Didn’t want to eat the candy b/c next year he couldn’t go. He is tall he is in size 12 clothes, he is 8, just turned in July. I think we all just need to stop judging each other.
I commented on that other post about how we had a teen come to our door every year and I didn’t know her story but honestly I feel like if they want to come and they come after the little kids why not? I stopped going at 12 I think then I was excited to bring my neice around. I had neighbours who would give me candy when I brought her around. I was embarrassed that they were giving me candy, but they would say I was doing most of the work which was true b/c she was terrified to go up and I had to help her.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story. Physical height isn’t a benchmark for trick or treating, it was a reference to the original post.
Keni T says
You are spot on! We don’t expect them to believe in Santa but they can stil participate in Christmas. You made some good suggestions on how people of every age can have fun on Halloween. Maybe it is the effort of putting together a party that turns off the parents of teens, or they aren’t really excited about having a party with a bunch of teens in their house so why not send them out into the streets instead. I’m not saying teens are bad or hoodlums or anything like that, but let’s show them a fun, mature way to celebrate.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for reading the post and sharing your thoughts, Keni!
Leiah says
Wow, I can’t believe how many people are missing the point that you are trying to make. People, please read the entire article before you start making judgements. Maybe re-read it if it doesn’t make sense to you. Everyone has a right to their own opinions- it doesn’t mean she’s judging the “older” trick or treaters. She’s just sharing her thoughts on what the previous article spoke about. Geez!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Leiah, for reading the post & sharing your thoughts!
Lesley says
My son was 6′ at 12 years old give me a break people made comments to him when he was 10 hasn’t went out since its people like you who ruin fun for kids. If you can’t keep comments to yourself the turn out your lights and eat your own candy. Besides what makes you think you have the right to lecture someone else’s child or teenager?
Michelle Myers says
Lesley, I have not nor intend to lecture anyone’s teen, that wasn’t part of the post whatsoever. And, the height was a reference to the original post, not a defining physical characteristic or even a point of my response. Thanks for stopping by!
Michelle Myers says
There isn’t a sentence indicating that I would lecture anyone in the post.
Jessica says
I do agree that there comes a time when children need to put away childish things and embrace age-appropriate entertainment and activities. I absolutely agree that hosting a Halloween party for teens is a MUCH more appropriate way to celebrate than allowing them to run around town in scary costumes, scaring little kids, and not following the “Please only take 1 piece of candy,” rule. I am not saying all teens do this, but this has been my experience trick-or-treating with my children, over the past 7 years. And frankly, it is annoying!
However, I will say that I did take a group of teenage girls trick-or-treating, a couple of years ago. My husband and I were foster parents, at the time, and most of the girls we cared for had never celebrated holidays, birthdays, or done many other fun, childhood activities, when they were younger. BUT we went with them, monitored them, and set clear boundaries for how they would dress and behave that night. We all had fun, and it was a good way to give them a memory they may have gone their whole childhood/teen years without.
So, while we do agree that certain aspects of holidays, birthdays, etc. should be tailored to the age and maturity of a child, I think it is important to note that it is the parent’s responsibility to decide what is best for his/her child. Not every trick-or-treating situation (regardless of age) is black and white. We can certainly have our opinions on how WE would handle the situation, but since we can’t control others, perhaps a better way to approach Halloween is with the attitude that as long as everyone is being safe and having fun, we can put aside our differences for one night and enjoy the festivities! 🙂
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts & experiences. As stated in the post, I wouldn’t deny anyone candy and have no trouble participating in the festivities and fun with my children & neighbors.
Jessica says
Yes, but you have stated in this article that you would participate, give them candy, but then “wonder as he leaves my door if he really is just a kid being a kid OR is he a kid whose parents just don’t want him to grow up?” The point I was trying to make is that, in the end, it’s about attitude.
Lisa says
I appreciate this article. I agree with it completely. My family participates in Trunk Or Treat at my church every year. There are dozens of teenagers there. They dress up, run the games, run the concession stands and play with the kids that come to trick-or-treat. They very much enjoy the festivities that go along with Halloween. However, it is a good transition for them to have fun, but move into that place of young adulthood. They are having fun, but also have a bit of responsibility. They are learning that life it is not only about their own pleasure all the time, but about bringing happiness and joy to others. There are plenty of ways for teenagers to have appropriate (staying-out-of-trouble) fun. I just don’t think trick-or-treating is one of them.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Jane says
I really like your idea of eventually expecting your kids to help and to serve the family and the neighborhood by decorating and handing out candy. It teaches them that with age comes responsibility and that it’s not all about them anymore.
Thanks for this good point of view!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Jane, for reading the entire post and understanding my point!
Amanda says
We urge our children to be mature, goal-oriented, and hard working. We have high expectations in academics, athletics, clubs, etc. That does not mean that these aspirations take up 100% of their time. Parents allowing their kids to not take life so seriously all the time are not encouraging immaturity or sending mixed messages. They are letting their kids know that life is not all about goals and hard work. We also have to remember to have fun. And trick-or-treating is fun!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion!
Dora says
Kids come in all shapes and sizes. To judge a kids age by their size is dumb. If my 16 yr old wants to go trick r treating fine he can but….
I am not robbing a childhood from my 16 year old by coming to an understanding that at certain ages, things end? No one expects a teenager to believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus, or to order from the kid’s menu, or to carry toys in their pocket. But once in awhile it is fun, just like once a year going trick r treating on Halloween. Yes all these things are fun and exciting but it is not done all of the time. So have fun once in awhile be a kid from time to time it’s not hurting anything. There is no sending of mixed messages while both guiding our maturing children towards adulthood and simultaneously encouraging them to cling to their childhoods. There is no clinging. It is good to be a child every once in awhile, face it we have a little child in our heart that wants to come out sometimes. Do you not want to have fun sometimes? There is no struggling with demands of adulthood of once in a blue moon child like fun. Perhaps you are struggling with your inner child! This is part of why you don’t understand.
Yes it’s okay to explain to our kids that they’ve outgrown something, that a season ended and a new one began. Yes It’s okay to say no. But every once in awhile it’s ok to say yes have fun. Why be an old grumpy adult with no fun in your life! Yes teach our kids is to carry the spirit of their childhood with them as they become adults, but that it’s ok to let it out every once in awhile. That it doesn’t mean acting like a child you are not a young adult with responsibilities, it just shows you can have fun when you want to. Yes there are still plenty of ways to have fun on Halloween as you grow-up? Your teens can help decorate the house for Halloween and pass out candy in costume on the big night. You can even host a Halloween party and let them invite some friends over, eat candy, and watch movies, if you’re concerned their missing out on the holiday fun, but if your 16 year old wants to go trick r treating with their friends why not? It’s not like they do it every night and sooner than later they will get bored with doing that and come to you about doing something else on Halloween.
So you say If a 6 foot tall trick or treater arrives at your door this Halloween, You are not going to give him a lecture or refuse to give him candy. You are just going to wonder as he leaves your door if he really is just a kid being a kid OR is he a kid whose parents just don’t want him to grow up? You are judging a child, that 6 foot child could only be 10 or 12 years old. And what if a 4 foot child came to your door and they were actually 16? Would you wonder the same thing as you did that 6 foot child? I want my children to grow up but I don’t want them to loose out having fun every once in awhile. Why should my children grow up not knowing that it is ok to be a child sometimes?
Michelle Myers says
The height reference was in regards to the original article and not a literal reference to a physical characteristic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Dora says
I have read the original article and I know what it says. I have read your article and I know what you said. you did say at the end of your article that if a 6 foot child came to your door you would wonder about if they were a child or being a child. So yes your article is about physical characteristics and height reference just as the original article is about physical characteristics and height reference. Thanks for replying. Happy Halloween!
Whitney says
amen dora!
Victoria Kellogg says
Yes, she is inconsistent with her opinion. She says that teens should stay home, wear costumes and eat candy with their friends, yet has a problem with them going door to door asking for candy. That doesn’t make any sense.
Elizabeth says
Maybe you should reconsider your title and wording if you do not mean what it says…
Michelle Myers says
It’s pretty interesting that no one had trouble with the original article using the height…regardless of title, people are entitled to differing opinions and many have been okay with commenting based on the picture. You can lead a horse to water…….
Dora says
I never said I didn’t have a problem with the original article using height with the age. That article and you referencing the height and age to your article it seems to be somewhat an issue for some parents. And I did not focus on that till you replied to me. But apparently all you saw in my comment is what I said at the beginning and at the end. Which had to do with height and age. Which was not my point. As in your article you said is not your point. Did you read my whole comment? I didn’t focus on height. I focused on what you said in your article.
Kl says
I’m 33 there have been maybe 5 years my whole life I have not gone out with my friends your younger family members to TOT. I dress up every year to take the kids up and I’ve gotten terrible comments from people. I don’t carry a bag for myself, but sometimes people will toss an extra kit kat in my daughter’s bag. For me, and many others, it’s one day to have fun and not have to be the stuffy stressed out adults we are the rest of the year. It’s fun to see others dressed up and all the kids running around. I have a dark street and don’t get TOT kids at my door. We also don’t grow out of toys or enjoyment of holidays at our house either. There are plenty of things people outgrow- but that doesn’t require sucking the joy out of everything. If you have an issue with how people parent and maturity of teens- turn off your light and don’t hand out candy.
Michelle Myers says
So, you’re 33 but not actually trick or treating so I’m confused as to where the disagreement lies…thanks for stopping by!
Bethany says
I’m just curious and have to ask- if a high schooler came by doing a UNICEF collection and had a candy bag in tow as well, would you feel the same way? I did the UNICEF thing in HS and the first year I didn’t even take a bag with me, but was offered candy at nearly every house anyways and eventually went back home to get a bag!
Additionally, in the neighborhood I grew up in, there was sorta an unspoken agreement that once 8:00 hit (the end of trick or treating), the teenagers came around and got the rest in the next ten minutes or so. We always left our bowl out in front of the door so the whole family could trick or treat together, and for most of the night kids would take one or two pieces, but when 8:00 hit it was GONE.
I fin your comments interesting, and they’re definitely good for thought. I know that personally, I’d have HATED going to a Halloween party in high school- it’s always been my favourite holiday, though, so UNICEF gave me a good excuse to get dressed up and still celebrate =]
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Bethany, for sharing your experiences. Props to you for thinking of others and using something you enjoy to help change the world, great idea!
Michelle says
I would never refuse ANY child (18 years & younger Halloween candy), whether in costume or not. However, I do get peeved when full grown adults come to my door in or out of costume and say they are trick or treating for their sick child at home. I have started giving them a sample size tissue pack.(for their sick child, of course)
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Paul Mendez says
I disagree, I don’t believe these teens are going to start believing in Santa again or grow up and not be able to pay bills because of one night. At least they are building confidence and not in some back room with friends drinking or smoking pot but, these are only opinions and we are in a time where most do not care about opinions lol. Life is hard rather you grow up having fun or determined to be successful at a young age. Live it up kids like will kick your butts no matter what you do=)
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Eve says
I think that if you get dressed up with true effort (costumes are expensive!) and go out in 30-40 degree windy weather (or worse!), you have earned some free candy.
I always go with my kids. I chaperone several of their friends as well. I myself do not ask for candy, but I do dress up!
My kids are 15, 10, and 5. It is a family fun time and we all get to play dress up for two or three hours a year.
This would change for my kids if any of them decided to act disrespectfully or dress inappropriately.
They will always be chaperoned.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences!
Julie says
Unfortunately I disagree with this article. I would much rather have a group of teens trick-or-treat at my door than for them to be out doing something inappropriate. There’s no harm in good clean fun. Let them embrace fun & creativity. Life goes by far too quick to make them let go of childhood. Besides, don’t adults enjoy dressing up? There are tons of adult themed costume parties every year. I understand your point of view but I’m in no rush for my kids to let of their adolescence. I’m all for them making good, clean, fun memories with their friends.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinions!
Jennifer Hyer says
I agree with you in regards to parents need to put a cap on trick or treating. In our area the mission of trick or treating for the older kids is always to get as much candy as possible OR scare the younger kids. In my opinion, that is not okay! Every year we go out and are usually only out a short while before they get ‘scared’ back inside. My Twins, who are 10, have always gotten scared super easy! We didn’t even dress up for the first 4 yrs because of this; however, we did hand out candy. There are other halloween stuff the older kids can do instead. For instance, handing out candy or try hosting your own (age appropriate) halloween party, or hosting a trunk or treat, etc…….
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your experiences! There are definitely many options on 10/31 for all ages.
Natalie says
I would rather see a 16 year old out innocently trick or treating than going out on halloween getting into trouble. I think it’s hilarious to see a teenager still getting dressed up for Halloween. Lighten up. Turn your lights off and don’t invite trick or treaters to your door since you have so many restrictions as to who is allowed to receive your precious candy.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion!
kate says
Ughn How frustrating it must be that everyone is totally missing the point of your article! It has nothing at all to do with the height or developmental appearance of these kids/teens! It is all about realizing that things come to an end and change as we change (ie grow up) as individuals. Is my idea of fun as a mom of 4 the same as when i was a college student, fresh out on my own for the first time? Absolutely not! It’s more about setting boundaries and leading your children to adulthood. My last year of trick or treating was in my last year of elementary school. I don’t feel like I missed out. How I enjoyed halloween after that changed but the fact that I was having fun didn’t.
With that said, as you also did, I would not turn away an older trick or treater at my door and will greet them with the dame enthusiasm. This is simply because my views are not the same as everyone else’s and it’s not my place to determine what other parents feel is appropriate for their children.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks, Kate! I really appreciate you READING the article and not just the cover image. I completely agree with the perception offun and how it evolves as a person grows and matures, thanks again for stopping by!
Karen says
Time out!! Are you kidding? Everywhere you look adults are jumping at the chance to be a kid again! Costume parties are everywhere this time of year and for all ages! For goodness sake Walt Disney based his entire dream and now theme parks on the one idea that childhood should never be forgotten and always celebrated. No one is saying that they or their teen kids are reverting back to some crazy state if immaturity. But rather that there are ways to have good clean honest childlike fun at any age!
Michelle Myers says
For me, the discrepancy comes in a parenting mentality of raising and lowering expectations for our kids. I’m not really addressing adults who are mature and choose to spend their earned resources however they’d like. Thanks so much for stopping by!
trish says
The year my husband passed away my kids were 18,16, and not quite 3. I helped the older kids put together costumes and invited them to go out with us. We had fun as a family, finding our way together. Neither of the older kids had trick or treated for a few years but they did that night. I wasn’t extending their childhood or encouraging them to be immature. We were doing something with the little one we’d all enjoyed many times before. They did get some candy but mostly were just having fun.
Michelle Myers says
I’m so sorry you lost your husband, I cannot imagine how painful that was for you & your family. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Karen Marshall says
I TOTAL disagree with your opinion and think you should not judge others. If you are so against older teenagers enjoying the day, then turn off your lights and don’t pass out candy. Stop being a hater. It is NO different then the parents who take their under 1 year old trick or treating. You know those kids aren’t eating that! But I bet you think that is just darling.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion, No, I don’t think it’s just darling when infants are at my door on Halloween. It’s always interesting how when people have different opinions, one of them is “judging”………
Victoria Kellogg says
What about teenagers with learning disabilities? Are they not allowed to go trick or treating? I don’t see any problem trick or treating. I love dressing up and taking my kids out on halloween. If you don’t see anything wrong with them eating candy at home while wearing a costume, then whats the difference when they go out door to door? Have you ever been to a comic convention? Many teens, and adults, dress up as their favorite characters when they go. Also, my husband has his own legos and Star Wars figures. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m more concerned about adults who think kids, because teenagers are still kids, should automatically grow up over night and become uninterested in things. I mean teens are very outspoken, if they don’t want to go trick or treating anymore because they think it’s lame, they won’t. Besides the ones who do, I don’t see their parents around. So I wouldn’t be worried if their parents are pushing them to stay little forever. They like scaring people with Scream masks and dressing up like Freddie Cougar, and Zombies. Give me a break.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion. The height was in reference to the original article and obviously, those who are differently abled or have developmental/cognitive issues are being parented appropriately by THEIR parents in regards to trick or treating.
Victoria Kellogg says
Hmm.. I don’t think you read my comment at all. You didn’t answer my questions and I didn’t mention anything about height.
Kat says
This is kind of a funny thing to judge a teen/parent on with all the evil that is out there for teens to get into. I totally love a kid whose still young at heart. If I see teens in silly costumes running around in the dark and not causing any trouble, I love it! People are funny what they choose to look down on
Michelle Myers says
It’s always interesting to be considered “judging” when an opinion is different….thanks for stopping by!
Bren says
I get what you are trying to say in your article, but it is definitely “Debbie downer” material. Kind of silly reasonings in my opinion, maturity is not black and white, even adults don’t do “all work and no play”. Adult life isn’t always about behaving in a mature fashion all the time, we do get to let loose every once and a while and have fun. So what are you trying to prepare them for? If this was simply to stir up blog $traffic$, bravo! But if this really does hit a nerve for you personally, the best thing you can do is just try to enjoy the holiday and not let other people’s choices get under your skin. Letting your child trick or treat (once a year) at older ages is not going to stunt their emotional health. It is a fun tradition that we usually always celebrated as a family regardless of age. I must admit I naturally lost interest treating around 16 and began helping out with my younger siblings but I appreciated my mother not pushing me into something before I was ready that didn’t make me want to stay living in my parents basement till I was 30. I left for collage as most of my friends did who also TOT at older ages. I think more than anything its a personal decision. What you are trying to relay to parents in the article seems more like a way of parenting you agree with in general, not a 1 night a year (Halloween) issue.
Also you keep defending the hight requirement comments in the same way, that you were “just referencing the previous article” and its not something you actually used as a reference point…yet that was a main point of the 1st article, and still a part of your point with the reply article. I read both & in truth, it appears you are actually passing judgement, SMH, looking down etc. based on the last paragraph of your article, “If a 6 foot tall trick or treater arrives at my door this Halloween, I’m not going to give him a lecture or refuse to give him candy. I’m just going to wonder as he leaves my door if he really is just a kid being a kid OR is he a kid whose parents just don’t want him to grow up?” Looking at the overall point you are trying to make in your reply it appears you have pretty much formed that judgement in your mind already about all those tall trick or treaters.
Look, I don’t think you are a messed up person for feeling this way, everybody makes judgements for different things, but call it what it is. Most opinions are judgements, so own it. I personally wouldn’t waste so much energy on this particular Halloween process though, as you never know someones situation. Maybe they have down syndrome, or in the case of my 14 yr old nephew…autism, and happens to be a 6’2 ninja turtle this year (you can’t tell that from behind a mask). You don’t know if that 15yr old kid had his childhood stolen from him by a molester, foster system, abusive parent or whatever else, and Halloween lets them forget about their adult-like cares for one night and be something else. You just never know why people behave the way they do, so speculating as to why and deeming in your mind if they are an exception or not is a waste of energy. If you are really that curious…or caring (not sure which), ask them why, before you drop the candy in their bags…but I doubt they are going to spill their emotional secrets to a total stranger. My judgement and advice after reading this? You take life way to seriously and look down on (or are secretly envious of 😉 those more easy going. Just enjoy the holiday…with oversized trick or treaters and all. 🙂
Melanie says
Very well said! I totally agree.
marissaschillemore@hotmail.com says
Otis funny or how parents look down upon an older child still playing with dolls or toys. I’d much rather my child stay a child longe than grow up faster. Let them be creative, have imagination, spirit, and above all have FUN! I know I would be having a blast running around in costumes with friends getting yummy candy all night. They will grow up eventually, they can not stay children for ever, so why not let them do it while they can!
Tina says
I think if teens are respectful and are having fun, let them have it. They have many, many years to “grow up” and endure reality ahead of them. I dressed up with friends through my senior year of high school and we had great fun with cherished memories of friends I don’t get to see much any more. Plus, some people may be “tall” and be mentally impaired with the IQ of a 5 year old. Would you deny them a night of fun too because of your silent judgement? I say, if you have issue with doling out candy to older children…then put up a sign saying you only serve kids 12 and under, that is your right. But to me, this article comes across as very judgmental on others lives and how they parent. I say, stay in your own cup, don’t take things so seriously..there are other big things in the world to concern ourselves with and have a happy heart. Just my opinion.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The height reference is in relation to the original article, obviously, those that are differently abled or have developmental/cognitive issues are being parented appropriately by their parents. I’m concerned at the incongruity of parents treating their teens like small children one moment and then expecting older behavior the next. The mixed messages in parenting are of little to no benefit to anyone or our society.
Victoria Kellogg says
I think it’s very narrow minded of you to think that teens wanting to have some fun every once in a while is considered immature. Why do teens have to fit this specific box you want to put them in with all of these restrictions? Take my husband for example. He is 40 years old, had had a job every day of his life since he was 9 years when he had his own paper route. He works at least 40 hours a week, and when he comes how to relax, he either builds legos with our boys, or plays video games on his computer. He has almost 100 board games and I’ve played a few with him because they’re not age appropriate for our kids. He jokes about how he had kids so someone would play his games with him. We even have an xbox 360, and it wasn’t bought with our boys in mind. I love using it with the kinect because it’s a great work out. I use to have a playstation 2 a few years ago. My favorite game is Guitar Hero. My point is, you’re never too old to do anything. It’s okay to unwind by doing “child like” things while still being a hardworking, responsible adult. We have fun with each other playing games, dressing up and telling stories. Even when our kids go to sleep, our idea of a date is watching The Hobbit while eating pizza. Scientists have conducted a study that shows a link between a creative imagination and a high IQ. Life is too short, and rough enough as it is. Loosen up and enjoy it! 🙂
Janet says
I think the real problem comes from people judging. I can’t look at anyone and tell from their height their age let alone if the activity they are engaged in is going to hamper their development into responsible adults. Kids have to grow up too soon these days and parenting them is hard work so give everyone a break on Halloween.
Michelle Myers says
The height is in reference to the original article, there is no magical physical characteristic that fully determine age in a 20 second window. Thanks for stopping by!
Marie says
I feel like high school aged kids are at such a strange age because no, they are not children but they’re really not adults either. They don’t get to make a lot of their own choices, they still rely on their parents for most things, and parents still pretty much have completely control over their teenagers. We should just let them have their trick or treating until they graduate from high school and let them be kids until they’re actually adults. I went trick or treating until I graduated and it was so much innocent fun! What else was I supposed to do as a teenager on Halloween night? I can think of a few more adult activities that would have gotten me into biiiiiig trouble had I children those over running around in a costume collecting candy!!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Kendra says
Wow! All I can say is wow! If my child at 14 who is 6’2” decides to go trick or treat in my small town with his friends, I’m gonna let him. If he’s out doing something fun, I know he’s not getting in trouble. It’s not because I force him to. It’s because he feels like the kids who are getting into trouble should be doing soomething better. He is not a perfect child but if his choice is this over getting in trouble doing some troublemaking…….I am all for it. But, I do not care one way or another. His choice. Not me living his baby years for him. Everybody has their own opinion on this topic just like most others. My opinion is, if your child WANTS to go be a “child” for a while longer, so what?? Such a trivial topic and I honestly can’t believe somebody took the time to write a rebuttle about the original article. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion. I’m still unclear as to why trick or treating keeps anyone out of “mischief” and if any child is wanting to “get into trouble”, those are choices that child will make, regardless of the date on calendar, in my opinion.
jessi says
I’m 36 and love trick or treating! It’s not about refusing to grow up for me but it’s one day (for an hour or so) that I can act like a kid and revive the child inside. I like the party idea too for older kids but adult parties tend to get too racy for my comfort.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for your opinion and for stopping by!
laura says
What about those of us with a disorder my self I was 6th by the 3rd grade my daughter is almost 5 ft in 2 grade really people guess fat kids should not trick or treat either
Michelle Myers says
This is really not about the height, that was in reference to the original article. This is about the parenting mentality and practice behind the “Never grow up” school of thought. Thanks for stopping by!
marissaschillemore@hotmail.com says
Read my comment above. My children aRe going to be very tall like me. I will send my children out and any one who says something about their age or height like I got as a child I will make them a card to hand out whih says call my parents, I’m still a child and I should not be harassed about my size. Trick or treat. I will include my phone number also.
Have you heard of truck or treating ? A bunch of family and friends fill trucks with candy and allow children to trick or treat out of them ? Also throwing a big party with prizes of candy would be fun!
I’m so sorry your little boy has to go through this . “hugs”
keeslermom says
I couldn’t agree more! My kids know that 12 is the last year, no matter their height. After that, I’m happy to supply their candy, and they are welcome to accompany their little sibs, but they are done. At some point, it simply becomes greed. I’m getting scorched on Facebook for having this opinion!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion. It’s really not about height, it’s about the parenting practice behind the trick or treating. 🙂
Katelyn F says
I totally went trick or treating with my sister and brother all through high school and even did a little TOT my freshman year of college. I assure you it wasn’t because my parents encouraged me to be “childlike.” No, there was only one reason – FREE CANDY! My parents were probably rolling their eyes that we were actually going out to get candy, but why not? No one ever said no, and we had fun walking around town. Is it immature? I don’t think so: I think it’s pretty darn smart – put on a last minute costume, get a little exercise, and score bucketloads of candy that can last weeks or months! Coming from a low-income family, where we didn’t have candy around much, it was great! Plus, dressing up is fun too.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your story & experiences!
Corri says
I was 5’9” with a B cup at 11 but was still very much (mentally/emotionally) a child.
Some of those Moms who opened the door that year (my last year trick-or-treating) were genuinely cruel.
Remember, guys and gals – kids grow at different rates 😀
Michelle Myers says
The 6ft tall reference was pertaining to the original article, obviously, no one is standing with a measuring stick for height evaluation purposes. The issue is with the mentality and inconsistency in parenting practices. Thanks for stopping by!
AFMomXs2 says
Last time I went trick or treating I was 18. Everyone kept asking which elementary school I went to. LOL I was 5’2 flat chested, and went dressed as a little girl in pig tails. heck my mom was 25 the last time she went. She took another family of kids as their chaperone and at 4ft 11 everyone thought she was the kid!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your experience and stopping by! The issue is not the actual height, that was a reference to the original article. I’m more concerned about the parenting mentality behind all of it.
marissaschillemore@hotmail.com says
Maybe you need to re-read your own article because the majority of people are seeing it differently than you are. I think you are ruining your blogging site here.
Jan says
I think you sound kind of full of yourself. I went trick or treating up until I was 17, and never caused any harm I just love Halloween. Now at 20 I continue to go with my daughter. And I can promise it didn’t cause any problems with my growing up, seeing as I own my own home, car, and have a family. I would much rather have my children go out trick or treating than have them at some party where there is drugs or alcohol.
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion. Drugs and alcohol are pretty widely available to kids 365 days a year so I’m not sure that trick or treating will replace a teen participating in those illegal options. Trick or treating doesn’t last all night long nor stop someone from attending a Halloween party, in my opinion.
Manette Gutterman says
Maybe you’re uninformed. It’s hard to tell kids ages anymore, unless you feel the need to card them before giving them candy. There are many kids that look pretty tall in 4 th grade (mine both look 2 yrs older than they are) as well as autistic children who like to still trick or treat. I guess I’m just more generous and less judgmental. It’s a fun holiday I don’t mind sharing when they come to my door. It’s better than egging houses and toilet papering!
Michelle Myers says
I’m not sure I see the connection between participating in trick or treating and causing anyone not to play a prank. Also,the height reference was in regards to the original article, all people grow & develop at different rates so no, there is no “magical” height that negates trick or treating. This is more about a parenting mentality/practice than physical characteristics. And obviously, people with cognitive or emotional developmental issues or those differentially abled are parented in a style that is appropriate, as deemed by THEIR parents. Thanks for stopping by!
Danita@O Taste And See says
Well said! I totally agree and have wondered the same thing when they come to my door. It is sad in a way to see them grow up, so I get it. This will probably be our son’s last year and we will miss it but we are also excited for the next stage of his life and the fun things that will bring. Thanks for sharing.
MJ @ Daisy & June says
I totally felt the same way when reading tat post! I’m glad to hear others are feeling the same way
Laura says
As a teenager that went trick or treating… it was not a good idea to let me go out alone with my other teenaged friends for trick or treating. We would NEVER had went if “parents” had come with us and really NOTHING good happened when we were free of our parents, out roaming the neighborhood getting hopped up on sugar. I feel really bad for the houses that gave bad treat choices like apples, pennies, or other non candy treats. They usually got chucked into someones yard and talks of TP’ing there house later was discussed… Teenagers if they really want to get dressed up, should go to Halloween parties to get their fill of treats (like adults do) with an adult present. At least that is what I plan to do when my kids hit that age. Halloween parties can be just as fun as trick or treating and much more comfortable when done from the comfort of an air-conditioned home! It’s to dang hot in Florida in October, who really wants to go trick or treating when it’s in the 80’s and 80% humidity on Halloween!!!
AFMomXs2 says
You are so right on the heat part! My son was stationed at Hurlburt last year and I took my granddaughter trick or treating on base. We are from Ohio where your costume has to fit over your winter parka and that was the first year I wore shorts and flip flops! The humidity about killed me! Trick or treating on base in DC was much more fun.. you could get buy with a turtleneck and tights and maybe a hat. This year we are back in Ohio and it will be parka weather LOL
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I think there is no correlation between trick or treating and then kids staying out of mischief. If kids want to cause trouble they will, period. Any frankly, most “pranks” take place LONG after the trick or treating is over, not while there are herds of glow stick bearing kids & adults standing in the street. 🙂
rob says
I disagree to an extent. It shows the difference in mentality between kids who are still interested in being kids and trick or treating and those who would rather party and prank. It’s not that older kids who trick or treat are immune to mischief but I think as a parent I would rather my child wanted to go out and trick or treat rather than go to a party. I remember parties at that age and a lot of grown up things went on even with parents there. So I think most parents hope that if their kids are asking to trick or treat rather than go to a party or sneaking out with a roll of toilet paper and eggs it shows that their interests are still fairly innocent and they arent interested in causeing trouble.
Nancy says
I disagree. I went trick-or-treating through high school. I went with friends and we had a lot of fun. At the time we knew it was something that would end, but we were not yet adults. We were still young inside and wanted to have fun and participate. As long as they are mindful and nice to the little kids, I think it’s fine. I am a responsible adult with a house and a career. It did not hurt me.
Neely says
I would say I went trick or treating till mid high school granted I was pretty short and still looked 9….so theres that
Michelle Myers says
Well, I think the height issue isn’t a firm benchmark, more of a response to the original standard in the 1st post. In a time when there seems to be an abundance of kids “Failing To Launch”, leave home, enter adulthood, etc. I feel it’s worth wondering where the mentality of keeping kids little vs. raising independent young adults intersects.
Heather M. says
While I agree that trick-or-treating needs to end at some point…we shouldn’t judge the 6-footers! My 13 year old is 6-feet tall, still in junior high and easily gets mistaken for a 16-year old. Does this mean that because he doesn’t “look” like he is of “trick-or-treating” age we should discourage him from heading out for his last year of trick-or treating? He’s still just a kid and we are encouraging him to enjoy his time with his friends one last time, despite his height 🙂
Michelle Myers says
I hear ya’, the 6ft benchmark came from the original post, my concern is more with the older high school kids and the parents who are promoting a double standard. I have a 13yo daughter that is 5’7″, she’s mistaken for older as well.
Kita says
Last year some teenagers came to our door it was weird and I didn’t open it. I think teenagers take it upon themselves sometimes to put on scary masks just to scare people and make a fun game of it. On the other hand though I have seen adults try to get candy these days myself and that I have to shake my head at. I have a teenage cousin who did it last year and he said he did it just so he can get the candy because he liked candy. Great eye opening post.
Michelle Myers says
I’m confused at full on grown adults, unaccompanied by ANY children coming to my door, asking for candy. I get that it’s fun to be young at heart but, seriously, there comes a time……
aimee fauci says
AMEN!!!! I saw that post but refused to read because I knew I would only roll my eyes at it! There is something creepy about teens coming to my door.. and it’s super annoying because I only have so much candy and only want the cute little kids to get it.
Monica P says
This comment actually made MY eyes roll!
Something creepy? Really?
P.S. the parents of those cute little kids are actually the ones eating your candy.
Anissa says
I have girls 11, 12, and 13 years old this year. This may be my 13 year old’s last year trick-or-treating. Regardless, my girls are quite excited about Halloween this year. They are coming up with ideas for their own costumes this year. My girls are sweet, kind, loving children. They are kind to little children, helping their cousins play dress up ,when they come to the house, singing silly songs, and making them feel like a million. They visit the nursing home and visit with the elderly, giving them the time and attention, and hugs and kisses, they so desperately crave. They mow our elderly neighbor’s yard, and carry in her groceries. They give of themselves, and love others all year long. My 11 year old is 4’11”, my 12 year old is 5’3″ , ( taller than me), and my 13 year old is 5’1″. My 12 year old is a “b” cup, and my 13 year old is a double “d” ! I feel sad for my girls that they would go to such trouble to get their outfits together only to be judged by people like you to be “too old”. My children are learning to be better citizens than probably a lot of people commenting on here. So if they want a night of just being kids and having fun, shame on you for just wanting the “cute little kids”, and not the bigger kids with the beautiful hearts!
Michelle Myers says
Anissa, I never stated anything about “wanting or not wanting” certain children at my door. I applaud you raising your children with the realization that life is not all about them and instilling a service minded mentality. I never mentioned not giving candy or speaking to other people’s children negatively so I’m confused as to the huge leap you’re making with those statements. Thanks for stopping by!
Anissa says
I was replying to the woman who said she only gave candy to”cute kids”, not you.
aimee fauci says
My point with this Anissa is……… I raised 2 boys.. when your voice starts changing, you start getting hair in places like your pits and down below.. it’s time to stop trick or treating. Yes, Halloween is for kids.. Not kids that have reached puberty. Obviously if a girl or boy rings my bell they will get a piece of candy or two but seriously.. let’s be serious. Do you really excited when the 15 year old boys with deep voices walk up to your door and simply hold their bag open… I don’t.. yes, let kids be kids but a 15 year old is not a ‘kid’ but an adult in training. AND.. Im not talking about 12 and 13 year old girls .. thanks.. I’ve raised 3 kids… on my next set.. so I ..know.. what .. I’m talking about!
aimee fauci says
and.. when your kids reach a certain age.. and you want them to still have ‘fun’.. maybe… just .. maybe throw them a Halloween party.. take them to a haunted house.. and as I said before. I was referring to boys who sound and look like men…
Anissa says
I also have older children. A 26 year old daughter, who has my first grandaughter, who is 3, and a 22 year old son, who is a manager and sings at church in the worship team. My daughter has been married 6 years and went to college to be an estitician. I believe the question was that children who trick- or treat would have a “failure to launch” type of outlook. I’m not “forcing” my kids to trick-or-treat. I think kids should be kids, at one event, as long as they want, and they shouldn’t be shamed into giving up an activity that happens once a year, and has no bearing on the rest of their life.
rob says
Or maybe, just maybe teenagers like candy and think it’s funny to go trick or treating. I know plenty of adults that get totally geeked out over holidays and love to go all out, it brings out the kid in them. And while I would agree a 25 old man trick or treating is ridiculous I don’t think it’s going to stunt a 15yr old for the rest of his life because he goes trick or treating. I’ve never met any teenager not in a hurry to grow up so maybe I just live in a different neighborhood than where all these teens who are regressing live. And yes, I’d rather my son and his goofy friends go trick or treat than go to a Halloween party and grow up way to fast if you know what I mean. There a lots of teens that come to my door and I know most of them and they are always polite. They aren’t there because they are trying to remain children they just like candy and they are usually never older than 15. I would argue there are a lot more complicated factors that account for young adults struggles than trick or treating. Maybe you and the lady who hates poor people trick or treating in her neighborhood can start an exclusive community that screens potential trick or treaters before letting them enter your neighborhood to make sure they are of the appropriate age and socioeconomic background.
Michelle Myers says
It’s interesting that you feel there is an age where the trick or treating should stop and we seem to disagree on the number. And absolutely, the struggles of young adults cannot be defined simply by one evening of trick or treating. My bigger question was with the mentality that adults have about encouraging maturity one moment(here’s a cell phone, be home by curfew, take responsibility for your grades, start to figure out what your career choice is & post high school education/training) & telling them it’s okay, even laudable to act like 6th graders still.
Bren says
Adults let loose every once and a while, why can’t kids, teens etc, allowing older kids to trick or treat is not really an inconsistency as you state but rather parenting well! Life is not “all work, no play” It won’t prevent them from maturing into adulthood to go trick or treating once a year. Its a day they can forget about their everyday responsibilities and be someone or something else for a time, a great escape for some kids who may not have had much of a childhood, and had to grow up too fast. Do you think playing board games should be taboo for maturing teens and adults as well? There is a time and a place for childish behavior. Calling everyday parenting, and allowing one night of letting loose activity a contradiction is not an inconsistency in parenting…that is life. Adults work, work, work & then sometimes they let loose and play. Should we teach our kids that once they are at the age of maturity or “old enough for cell-phones”, cars, etc. that they are no longer allowed to ever be immature and have child-like fun? Parenting is not always black and white, all or none. Try not to judge those bigger treaters (or their parents) so harshly as you imply you might by your last paragraph, we don’t know their situation as to why they haven’t grown out of it on their own yet. Let loose and enjoy the holiday, oversized trick or treaters and all. 🙂
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion, I’m not one to consider those who disagree with me judgmental, I’m realizing that’s a huge anomaly! Appreciate the life lesson!
Kira Lewis says
So, I’m jumping in a little bit here for Michelle. We appreciate that you caught on to some of her point being about “inconsistency” and not necessarily this subject specifically. NO this is NOT about the specific size of a trick or treater at all! She and I actually BOTH have kids who are taller and look older than their ages. We sympathize with that absolutely. What is being addressed is that we do seem to have a real push and pull in today’s world about letting our kids be kids and we aren’t always consistent. On one hand we are complaining about this generation and their inability to grow up and the next second we’re saying yeah go trick or trick just to get some free candy and have a little fun when it traditionally has been an activity for younger kids. Sometimes its okay, but sometimes its not. The beginning of the post does state that she agrees our kids grow up too fast and that there are plenty of ways we can make parenting choices to help keep them young (let’s talk about the TV and movies they watch, the technology and social media we give them access too, how we let them dress…) Also, she does NOT say that she would turn away an older trick or treater or give them some kind of lecture. She encourages parents to show their older children how to still have fun in other ways. This is not an anti-Halloween post or an anti-fun post. It was just another perspective. The judgement comes more about how we as parents collectively are not always on the same page about kids being kids and don’t always send consistent messages.
Lysha @ Magnolia Mom says
What I hate worse than this, is when I have Momma’s come to my door holding out pillowcases saying they need candy for their babies! What?!?!
Michelle Myers says
Yep, that one gets me, too! And I really don’t remember that being a “thing” until the last 10 years.
Lynn C says
It probably became a thing because poverty and unemployment are rampant. I’m sure some cold-blooded people would tell them candy’s bad for kids and slam the door. If you’re going to celebrate Halloween, celebrate it! Follow your city’s rules re: age and hours for trick-or-treating or leave your porch light off and don’t participate. No way would I open the door to what looks like an adult if I’m alone, but if my boyfriend’s here, it’d be no big deal. Happy Samhain!
Michelle Myers says
Thanks for sharing your opinion!
Lulu says
They do it because they also want to go trick or treating but too many people are judgmental about it. There was a Halloween documentary a few years ago and it showed more and more adults are using kids as an excuse to trick or treat. Yeah, it may seem wrong but they are just doing what they can to avoid judgement.