How Motherhood is Like Being a Navy SEAL
Did you know that as of right now women can’t be Navy SEALs? I’ve heard and read about all the grueling training that Navy SEALs have to endure, but I’m here to say for mothers everywhere: “Navy SEALs, BRING- IT-ON!”. This isn’t some kind of feminist tirade or rant against the military, don’t take me so seriously. I just think perhaps those in charge of Navy SEAL recruitment haven’t considered how badass we women can be. I mean, c’mon, motherhood is like constantly being under siege. Let’s do a quick comparison shall we:
Navy Seals: Training 30 months
Motherhood: On the job training 24/7, conception til… forever
Navy Seals: If a trainee can’t hack it, then they can make a make a DOR (Drop on Request)
Motherhood: Yeah, as if
Navy Seals: Basic Conditioning
Motherhood: Carrying around 70lbs of extra weight for 9 months, carrying around a car seat with the baby in it for a year, carrying around the actual 30-50lb kid for another year and then chasing the kid for the another 2 years after that
Navy Seals: Torture
Motherhood: Child birth
Navy Seals: Massive Assaults on the Senses
Motherhood: The Wiggles and Caillou
Navy Seals: Hell week – five days and five nights with no more than 4 hours sleep
Motherhood: Prolonged sleep deprivation that lasts somewhere between months and until the child goes to college
Navy Seals: Extreme Temperature Exposure
Motherhood: Hormones
Navy Seals: Psychological Warfare
Motherhood: Toddlers and Threenagers
Navy Seals: Listening closely to orders
Motherhood: Hearing your child’s particular cry in a crowd of 40 kids at Pump it Up, Chuck E. Cheese, etc and responding in under 5 seconds.
Navy Seals: Close Quarters Battle
Motherhood: Dinner and Bed Time
Navy Seals: Intelligence-Gathering
Motherhood: Child Predator Radar
Navy Seals: Chemical warfare and handling explosives
Motherhood: Blow-out diapers
Navy Seals: Structure Penetration
Motherhood: Jimmying your way back into the car or house when you’re toddler locks you out
Navy Seals: Recovery (snatch-and-grab) Techniques
Motherhood: Expertly distracting your child with your cell phone in order to return toy to screaming child from whom your child just snatched toy without mother of other child noticing
Navy Seals: Proper Handling of Prisoners
Motherhood: Keeping the Child Alive Until Adulthood
Navy Seals: Provide Medical Treatment
Motherhood: Countless trips to ER before child is five; Complete control to smile and appear calm even when blood is spraying forth from an unknown location on child; and always having on hand exact character band aid needed for particular boo boo, which will only fully heal when applied with a magic mommy kiss
In all fairness, Navy SEALs and every other member of our military have a tough job and I am so grateful for each and every one of them. I would not trade being a Mom any day to do what they do, but I’m just sayin’… I’m not so sure they would trade with me either.
Anita says
Cute, funny comparisons!
Kira Lewis says
Thanks!
Jessica says
This is SO TRUE! No harder job then being a mom! But it makes you a tough ass mamaseal tho! Great article!
Leslie says
Haha this is a great post! I don’t have kids but watching my little cousins around around I think my aunt can relate, hah.
nootje says
navy SEAl’s get R&R , you take your kids everywhere!
When the recruters ask you ; why should you qualify for this carreer? just reply “nothing can scare me, I live with teenagers!”
Jamie says
So cute and so true! My husband was telling me last night that he heard that research says if you get over 8 hrs sleep a night it can be bad for your health….I reminded him that I didn’t have to worry about that…I hadn’t had 7 hours of sleep a night in the past 17 years…and we have a 2 year old…so no hope in sight! 🙂
Ilona @ Ilona's Passion says
Love the Title: How Motherhood is Like Being a Navy SEAL! Very informative post,
Kim Croisant says
So true….your post made me laugh. Well then, it’s time to see Women Navy Seals!!
Tori says
This made me laugh! I thought the comparison about childbirth was just perfect!
Krysta says
TOO TOO FUNNY! What a great comparison with legit examples! WE DO IT ALL! Don’t get me wrong, my ribs hurt from 2 days of planking so I don’t think I can cut it with the Seals, but as a MamaSeal, I am as badass as they come… and clearly so ARE YOU! Thanks for a good laugh to get my Wednesday (that started at 5:30am) going!
Lauren Harmon says
While I’m not a mommy yet, I can’t even imagine all the work and energy it’s going to take when we are finally blessed! Such a funny comparison and in so many ways, parenthood seems like the toughest part of life (but I’m sure it’s rewarding as well)!
Shirley Wood says
Too funny. Mothers are capable of anything! We are qualified to do almost any job just from the on-the-job-training we receive as mothers! And don’t cross us about our children, we will show you how we can go commando on you!
Ashley ~ 3 Little Greenwoods says
Oh my goodness! You are so right to compare motherhood to Navy Seals!
Sharing everywhere!
Sonya says
My favorite is Proper Handling of Prisoners…lol. This was a great read. I never thought about how motherhood is like being a Navy Seal, but you did a great job with the comparisons.
Janelle says
OMG! Haha.. I LOVE how you break it down. Soo very true!! Like I often share with my associates, that I my kids (2 girls) are my boss! I work for “them” FULL TIME! Literally! hahah. It’s like I am their employee! hehe
Thanks for sharing. Such a good read that put a HUGE smile on my face. LOVE IT!
Janelle