When is Your Child Ready to Stay Home Alone
As the mom of a new teen, there have been quite a few conversations in our home and amongst friends about what age a child is ready to stay home alone. And, like most things in parenting, there really isn’t a one size fits all answer. I don’t think there is a magical age to be equated with maturity but there are some behavioral indicators that can help you decide if your child is ready to stay home alone:
1) Demonstrates Responsibility: Is your child completing the chores they’ve been assigned, without continual reminders from parents? Does she care for her belongings, not being careless or leaving them where they can be damaged or destroyed?
2) Knows Safety Procedures: Does she understand when/why to call 911 vs. you, how to use a fire extinguisher, how to use the house alarm system? Does she know where basic first aid supplies are and how to use them?
3) Communicates Well: Is she able to express her needs, concerns, fears, etc? Is she able to engage in healthy discussion about her choices and understand that she is welcome to come to you with any issue or thoughts?
If your child is demonstrating these indicators consistently, then you can feel confident beginning a trial run. Allow your child the stay home for short periods at first. Maybe while you run to the store or take a younger child to an activity. Also, be sure that you have an established set of rules that you have discussed and your child fully understands the consequences for violating the rules.
Here are our rules for when our teen stays home alone:
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No friends may come over, regardless of who appears at the front door.
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She isn’t allowed outside to socialize or exercise or even check the mail or to answer the door.
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She isn’t permitted to use the oven but she can use the stovetop or microwave.
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She isn’t allowed to use the internet and the wifi is password protected. We have agreements about television on a case by case basis.
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We have predetermined “check in” times that are to be met. I’m a big believer in accountability, especially when a child is a newbie at staying alone.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent is assuming your child “knows better”. I’ve found out the hard way, assumption leads to trouble, so play it safe and make sure your expectations are crystal clear.
Lastly, if you need additional guidance to help you determine when your child is ready to stay home alone, there are also laws governing the minimum age a child must reach before staying home alone. The laws vary on a state by state basis so you’ll definitely want to check your state’s requirements, here is a link that provides that information.
Overall, staying home alone is an important step on a child’s road to independence. You can set your child up for success by first making sure that they are ready to take on this new responsibility and then by putting the proper boundaries in place to help keep them safe and make it a positive experience.
Erica @ Coming Up Roses says
This is SO interesting to me, especially since I’m far off from having kids. It’s terrifying to me, the thought of getting to that point as a parent where there are just SO many threats out there and you need to instill such accountability in your kids where there is mutual trust…oy. Props to you, for sure.
cominguprosestheblog.com
Misty Nicole Roberts says
As a former latch key kid myself, I think it depends on your child. Some children are self-starters, are more able to be trusted alone, while others are not. My mother called everyday, at varying times, after school, and this was to ensure I was home by the time she knew I needed to be home. So, again I think it just depends!
Megan @ C'mon Get Crafty says
We still have years to go before J is ready for that, but I think you’ve made some excellent points for parents of older children that might be wavering on the issue now.
Kristen says
Never. They will be glued to me forever. (What is that weird?!)
lauryn hock says
These are some great things to think about before allowing her to stay home.
Kimberly @ Stuffed Suitcase says
Great tips! I just recently started letting my two girls stay home alone while I take our puppy for a 20 minute walk. I think it’s always a good idea to build up and start small initially.
Aleshea says
Love this. Growing up my mom ran the day care I attended. The news came and we got to be apart of a segment where they talked about this and latch key kids. Very eye opening.
Kelly Wiler says
I totally agree, each child is ready at their own specific time in life for this.
Jamie says
I have been surprised how different it has been with each of our kids so far on when they were ready to be home alone! Now that I have 2 teens…it is great to have the occasional built in babysitter for our younger 2 kids! It also helps that we live in a really small town and my parents live 6 doors down! 🙂
Nancy says
I HAAAATED to be home alone. I guess it was the “youngest kid” syndrome where I felt protected having my older brother with me. But sometimes there were times where I was needed to be left alone, even if it were for an hour or so. Luckily we were very close with our neighbours and could call for help if anything did ever happen.
I’m still scared to be home alone! I always hear creepy noises. So my husband actually set up a camera for the front door, so I can see who’s at the door before i decide to answer it Lol!
Ashley ~ 3 Little Greenwoods says
I cannot wait until our children are old enough to stay by themselves while we go out for dinner. Babysitters can cost a fortune!
Ilona @ Ilona's Passion says
Great tips, I will have a teen boy soon, so I’m thinking about it already.
Shirley Wood says
Rules are essential for leaving children home alone. I think most parents are a good judge of when their child demonstrates enough responsibility to be left home. You have a good set of rules.
Jessica says
I honestly don’t know if I could ever leave my daughter home alone when she gets older. I’d be so worried all the time! But she’s still 4 years old now, so maybe that will change as she gets older and more independent. Thanks for the tips! I’m glad you are making parent aware of safe ways to leave kids home alone.
aimee fauci says
With multiple kids it is an easier decision versus having only one kid. I think I would be nervous if I had only one child. I guess I see multiple kids as a team. We test our kids and when they have reached the maturity age we will run up to the store and call and see how they answer and then go from there.
Sagan says
Good tips. Definitely better to have concrete guidelines in place for your child than to just make assumptions about what they know to do and not do! And I think it’s a big step for kids and parents alike.
Tori says
I am so glad you mentioned that some states do have a minimum age requirement. Since I work in social services with kids, we see a lot of them staying home alone way too early in life. You are spot on when you talk about being responsible, knowing how to regulate emotions, and also how to get in contact with authorities if something goes wrong. I like the accountability piece and wish that more parents would utilize that, especially early on. Great great post!
Logan Can says
My son won’t be able to stay home alone for a really long time, but these are great guidelines to go by!
Sarah@bakingwithmom says
What a great post. Thanks for the link of ages children can be home alone. Great resource!